MAGGIE15 Posted June 24, 2011 Posted June 24, 2011 After gettting told by my ex that " he didnt have the time to see me, but he didnt want me to walk away either", i decided that it would be better for me if i went total NC to try andd get over him. I had actually done 3 weeks NC when i was asked by my boss to contact him ( we work for the same co , not in the same city). So i broke NC and asked him for some figures that were needed to finish a contract. He totally and completely ignored me !! I wasnt nasty, i was polite to him and i thought we were ok as the last text i had off him said, he hoped i had a good weekend. Now it is as if i am something he has stepped in. It has set me back to the beginning knowing that he didnt even have the decency to reply to me. I guess some part of me hoped that maybe we could open a dialogue again ( even though i knew i would get hurt), but it really hurts to think that he obviously couldnt care less to even give me a reply and i have broken NC with him. It would have been better if he had just told me not to contact him and move on, but to completely ignore me. My mind is now racing watching my phone to see if he will respond( although i know he wont). This has really set me right back to day 1 and i know i have to put it behind me. It just hurts to think he thinks so little of me and couldnt care less. Why be so cruel??
stray Posted June 26, 2011 Posted June 26, 2011 It IS cruel, there's no doubt about that. It shows a complete lack of manners and the ability to choose civility over ego. I've had one ex pull the ignore card on me (after he broke up with me) and it remains one of the most rude and selfish acts anyone's ever done to me. The kind of person who chooses to do this is extremely immature and has no conscience. This is not someone you would ever want to be with in the long run. This is the kind of guy who will burn a lot of bridges in the future and create a lot of serious problems for himself that could have been initially resolved with communication. Thank your lucky stars you won't have to deal with the troubles he has ahead of him. Do not contact him again. Stop looking at your phone, he will get back to you when 'he feels like it'. It could be days, weeks, months. Wash your hands of this one.
Lucy2011 Posted June 26, 2011 Posted June 26, 2011 Not much I can add to strays reply. It is rude and cruel (and I'm going through the same thing so you aren't alone). Try and forget him, he's not worth it and thank your lucky stars he is no longer your problem.
Author MAGGIE15 Posted June 27, 2011 Author Posted June 27, 2011 Thank you for the replies and yes you are both right. I just feel i have let myself down by contacting him and coping with the feelings of rejection again. But the fact he ignored me has reinforced my reasons for going NC and maybe this will help me in the long run. Maybe i hoped for some kind of dialogue from him ( misguided and stupid), and now i know that will never happen. He clearly has no intention of replying to me even though he knows i need that information, but i will not contact him again and ask. As much as it hurts what he has done, it has shown me what he truly is and that i should not waste any more time on him. Im sorry you are going through the same thing Lucy 2011 and i hope you find the strength to get past this and move on.
0hpenelope Posted June 27, 2011 Posted June 27, 2011 What's bad about it also is that you didn't break NC to reconcile or be friends. You needed to talk to him about work. Sheesh! That's rude & very unprofessional. See how something so simple can be so impactful? Good on you for staying classy, Maggie!
TheHurtProcess Posted June 27, 2011 Posted June 27, 2011 Not trying to defend your ex... But, perhaps he's trying to get over you as well and therefore feels it may be best to continue NC.
Author MAGGIE15 Posted June 28, 2011 Author Posted June 28, 2011 Thank you so much for the encouragement 0penelope.And you are right having the door slammed in my face 'again' just makes me more determined to never ever put myself through that again. Knowing the reaction i will get, just reaffirms to me the need for total NC. The hurt process: My ex has treated me like this since he dumped me in April. I have always tried to be polite ( as we have to exchange information about work) and yet it is as if he takes great delight in knowing that i need it and i need to contact him !!!. ( maybe im overanalysing it , but thats how he makes me feel). He has never been interested in anything except himself and only really contacts me when he needs my help. He is cold and cruel and moved on so quickly. He decided he was over me when he dumped me and his actions since then tell me exactly that.
0hpenelope Posted June 28, 2011 Posted June 28, 2011 I have always tried to be polite ( as we have to exchange information about work) and yet it is as if he takes great delight in knowing that i need it and i need to contact him !!!. ( maybe im overanalysing it , but thats how he makes me feel). He has never been interested in anything except himself and only really contacts me when he needs my help. He is cold and cruel and moved on so quickly. He decided he was over me when he dumped me and his actions since then tell me exactly that. All of this over work. There is a time and a place for him to "take it out on you," as it were, but work is not the place for personal issues. I'd love for him to talk to your boss if the boss wonders why he held off on giving you a prompt answer. Hopefully his delay didn't affect your project too much.
TheHurtProcess Posted June 28, 2011 Posted June 28, 2011 The hurt process: My ex has treated me like this since he dumped me in April. I have always tried to be polite ( as we have to exchange information about work) and yet it is as if he takes great delight in knowing that i need it and i need to contact him !!!. ( maybe im overanalysing it , but thats how he makes me feel). He has never been interested in anything except himself and only really contacts me when he needs my help. He is cold and cruel and moved on so quickly. He decided he was over me when he dumped me and his actions since then tell me exactly that. Thanks for filling me in. I definitely know what it feels like when a loved one begins acting very self-indulgent, without even considering your feelings in the least bit.
LovelyDaze Posted June 28, 2011 Posted June 28, 2011 (edited) Being ignored is the worst. What that person is saying non-verbally is that you are not important to them whether right now or period. Whatever you do, DON'T text him at all. As another LS member said, stop looking at your phone too. Even if he does text back (this late???), you need to ignore that yourself. If you respond, he will believe through and through that he can treat you any kind of way possible and that you will lap up any crumbs of contact he drops on the floor to you. That right there tells me that he is no longer a person you need in your life. Show people how to respect you. Don't allow poor behavior anymore. Edited June 28, 2011 by LovelyDaze
Author MAGGIE15 Posted June 29, 2011 Author Posted June 29, 2011 LovelyDaze, Totally agree. To know i am being ignored is probably the worst. To know he turned his phone off straight after i had to ask for the information stings like hell. To know that i mean that little and am that disposable is both cruel and cowardly. With regards to texting him again , i will NEVER again do that. Everytime i think about doing it, i will just remember that feeling of rejection and know that that is how i will feel. Also, i have decided to change my mobile number so that he doesnt have the opportunity to ever do it to me again. In a strange sort of way, what he did to me helped. It has reinforced to me what happens when they/you contact, what crumbs they give and worst of all what it does to your mind. Plus, i think it is time i truly moved on and found myself another job, to completely remove him from my life. I know those measures are probably extreme, but i need to think about me. He has treated me with utter contempt and kicked me in the guts yet again!! All this from a man who didnt want to lose a 'good friend'!! What a joke !!!! Maybe i just needed 'that door being slammed in my face' once more to finally help me move on.
Mr. Savage Posted June 29, 2011 Posted June 29, 2011 Yup, his uber selfishness finally reared it's ugly head and it sucks that we gotta be the people who suffer from others like this. Just always tell yourself you are the better person and if he does ever try to make contact ignore him and he will get the point. People like him need a life lesson in that some of us out there won't take their crap!
TheHurtProcess Posted June 30, 2011 Posted June 30, 2011 Yup, his uber selfishness finally reared it's ugly head and it sucks that we gotta be the people who suffer from others like this. Just always tell yourself you are the better person and if he does ever try to make contact ignore him and he will get the point. People like him need a life lesson in that some of us out there won't take their crap! Agreed. The best response at this point is no response. He couldn't give you one in a timely manner. Therefore, if he ever decides to check up on you, give him a taste of his own medicine. It's always a good time when the tables magically turn like that
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