April72 Posted June 24, 2011 Posted June 24, 2011 I've heard my entire life that there are girls a man will screw and girls a man will marry. Does that whole good girl thing still really matter to men ???
GorillaTheater Posted June 24, 2011 Posted June 24, 2011 Well, I don't know about the "good girl" thing, but I will say that in my single days the pool of screwable girls was a hell of alot bigger than the pool of girls (who by definition also fell in the "screwable" category) I wanted to spend the rest of my life with.
thatone Posted June 24, 2011 Posted June 24, 2011 I've heard my entire life that there are girls a man will screw and girls a man will marry. Does that whole good girl thing still really matter to men ??? it absolutely does, and it is an absolute fact.
oldguy Posted June 24, 2011 Posted June 24, 2011 Yup. I have to add a few more words because LS says, "yup" is to short but my answer is; "Yup".
thatone Posted June 24, 2011 Posted June 24, 2011 it's not limited to sexual past, but that's part of it for the vast majority of men. here's a few of mine. a) does she make more time for her career and friends than the men she has been with? not long term material b) does she keep a lot of male friends, whether they are sexual partners or not? not long term material c) does she have a list of stupid/unemployed/alcoholic/abusive/criminal/etc ex boyfriends? not long term material d) does she have jealousy/control/esteem issues (generally crazy) that manifest in other ways than normal rational conversation about those issues? not long term material those are the principal ones, there are more minor ones such as intelligence, class, etc. that are equally deal breakers but not the type that will make you hate the person in question like the 4 above.
Skump Posted June 24, 2011 Posted June 24, 2011 It's this simple: For his wife, every sane, red-blooded man wants a whore who keeps only one client. Women have re-framed the male view of the ideal girl in terms of their own hangups and have thus misunderstood what men actually want. Men aren't looking to commit to someone sexless. What makes the "good girl" appealing is that she is A) FAITHFUL and B) EXTREMELY DISCRIMINATING. When those attributes are married with C) SEXUALLY PASSIONATE she becomes the "ideal girl." Men have an innate, and perfectly rational, bias against women who treat sex casually. Those women are relatively high risk relationship investments. Since a quick f*ck costs men nothing, they're of course willing to test the bed rivets with any number of cheap chicks. For a long-term relationship, however, evolutionary logic favors a woman who is loyal (and hopefully passionate) within a committed sexual relationship but difficult to get into a sexual relationship.
Disillusioned Posted June 24, 2011 Posted June 24, 2011 I've heard one MGHOW sum it up this way: sex goddesses generally don't make good mothers. Hence, the need for some men to keep a wife and a mistress. But I think whether or not this old wives' tale is true depends on who you ask. A man who's trying to maintain his reputation as a hardcore player ("the Back-Door Man of Main Street" or whatever) will definitely tell you there are women you should screw but shouldn't love.
Nexus One Posted June 24, 2011 Posted June 24, 2011 Men can absolutely distinguish between at least 2 types of women. The ones they find hot, i.e. the ones they only feel sexual attraction to and the ones they find beautiful, i.e. the ones they think have it going on in more than one way. (looks, personality, intelligence) The latter group is the one men tend to consider as girlfriend material. The first group is often considered for one night stands, as f*ck buddies, NSA sex. And even the way a woman dresses can determine in which group men place her. That's why it surprises me when some women dress up like strippers or in their bikini on a dating website when they're actually looking for a serious relationship. Yes that will get them noticed, but they'll get noticed by the group of men that are looking for casual sex. Guys that are genuinely looking for a girlfriend will filter them out, because such pictures tend to give off a slutty vibe.
Eve Posted June 24, 2011 Posted June 24, 2011 Ok, thanks. Couldn't work out what the letters could stand for. Take care, Eve x
samspade Posted June 24, 2011 Posted June 24, 2011 Just because you ***** someone doesn't mean you want to enter into a life partnership with her. Whether that puts women into one of only two categories, I have no idea. Most men don't want women they know have been around the block too many times. Women know this of course which is why they almost always lie about their number of partners. You always see men posting here about how they "can't get over her past" because she had too many partners. The guy always gets flamed for being jealous or insecure. Really it's a deeply-embedded male mechanism to filter out slvts as long term partners. It's pretty simple - eggs are scarce, but sperm is abundant. The old double standard will always apply. Of course, we have to take someone at her word. But a woman will eventually reveal her past, she can't help it, even if she doesn't give a number. Men who pay attention know to look for the right red flags.
Enchanted Girl Posted June 24, 2011 Posted June 24, 2011 (edited) I think this is true. I've always fit in the "beautiful/cute" but not "hot" category. Sometimes it makes me feel like crap because my friends who are "hot" are always being noticed by guys and hit on. One of my best friends is hit on by literally every guy she meets and they are always offering to help her with random things (like when our car broke down) just because they want to get her number. I get noticed a lot less, but at the same time, I get in longer term relationships than any of them do. I've seen my friends get boyfriends for a week or a few months at most and I'm glad I don't have that problem. The men who date me tend to stick with me for years. And I agree with a lot of the comments. Men I date tend to tell me I am intelligent and all around a person they enjoy to be with. I don't sleep around (I've only had sex with two men my entire life and I am 25) and I'm very faithful in relationships. I'm drama free for the most part and I make time for them. I don't dress as a slut, I usually dress rather tastefully. I don't flirt around and I give them sex whenever they want it (and try to keep it interesting by having an open mind.) And most people label me as a good girl in person because of my morals and the fact that I'm sort of shy/quiet. Men tell me they love me, tell me they want to marry me, and tell me I'd be a wonderful mother on a regular basis. In fact, two men that I only casually dated for a few weeks (but wasn't in a relationship with) told me they were in love with me right after I broke-up with them. I've actually never had a problem with men professing love to me or being willing to commit to me once they are interested. The only area where I struggle is attracting them in the first place. Edited June 24, 2011 by Enchanted Girl
musemaj11 Posted June 24, 2011 Posted June 24, 2011 (edited) Its not only about sex. Personality, education, status, family, career, etc also factor in to an extent depending on the man. When it comes to marriage, people generally want the perfect mate. But in more conservative countries and in the older generations, the sexual history of a woman does matter a great deal. Edited June 24, 2011 by musemaj11
ThsAmericanLife Posted June 24, 2011 Posted June 24, 2011 ... and I will say that men who are testing the waters to see if I'm "easy" will not get a second, third, or whatever date. Men who maintain double standards with their women tend to hold double standards other ways as well. I have no patience with sexist or slutty men either. Quality people of either gender appreciate a person who can delay gratification.
RepairMinded Posted June 24, 2011 Posted June 24, 2011 I think this is true. I've always fit in the "beautiful/cute" but not "hot" category. Sometimes it makes me feel like crap because my friends who are "hot" are always being noticed by guys and hit on. One of my best friends is hit on by literally every guy she meets and they are always offering to help her with random things (like when our car broke down) just because they want to get her number. I get noticed a lot less, but at the same time, I get in longer term relationships than any of them do. I've seen my friends get boyfriends for a week or a few months at most and I'm glad I don't have that problem. The men who date me tend to stick with me for years. And I agree with a lot of the comments. Men I date tend to tell me I am intelligent and all around a person they enjoy to be with. I don't sleep around (I've only had sex with two men my entire life and I am 25) and I'm very faithful in relationships. I'm drama free for the most part and I make time for them. I don't dress as a slut, I usually dress rather tastefully. I don't flirt around and I give them sex whenever they want it (and try to keep it interesting by having an open mind.) And most people label me as a good girl in person because of my morals and the fact that I'm sort of shy/quiet. Men tell me they love me, tell me they want to marry me, and tell me I'd be a wonderful mother on a regular basis. In fact, two men that I only casually dated for a few weeks (but wasn't in a relationship with) told me they were in love with me right after I broke-up with them. I've actually never had a problem with men professing love to me or being willing to commit to me once they are interested. The only area where I struggle is attracting them in the first place. If you also know how to grill a steak and rebuild a transmission then you are the perfect woman.
Sanman Posted June 24, 2011 Posted June 24, 2011 Of course it is true. Women do the same thing. Many will date the bad boy, bartender, musician, etc until it stops being fun and then go on to marry the lawyer, banker, doctor, etc.
Sanman Posted June 24, 2011 Posted June 24, 2011 ... and I will say that men who are testing the waters to see if I'm "easy" will not get a second, third, or whatever date. Men who maintain double standards with their women tend to hold double standards other ways as well. I have no patience with sexist or slutty men either. Quality people of either gender appreciate a person who can delay gratification. You assume all men have a static approach. This isn't always the case. I may be more aggressive with the 20 year old waitress than I am with the 27 year old female professional, since I may be after different things. The irony is that each will never know I can be the other way.
ThsAmericanLife Posted June 25, 2011 Posted June 25, 2011 You assume all men have a static approach. This isn't always the case. I may be more aggressive with the 20 year old waitress than I am with the 27 year old female professional, since I may be after different things. The irony is that each will never know I can be the other way. I assume most men don't have a static approach. That is the topic of this thread. Basically, only certain women are afforded respect, and the rest are treated like they are disposable. I find it sad that you would treat a waitress with less respect than the "female professional". I also think you are underestimating their power to detect who you really are. Interestingly, the men who act like what you are describing are the ones *I* find disposable. The men I want to be with DO a have a static approach. They are old enough to understand the down sides of quick sex (protected or not) with a relative stranger, and won't go there. Condoms don't cover everything and they don't cover crazy either.
thatone Posted June 25, 2011 Posted June 25, 2011 I think this is true. I've always fit in the "beautiful/cute" but not "hot" category. Sometimes it makes me feel like crap because my friends who are "hot" are always being noticed by guys and hit on. One of my best friends is hit on by literally every guy she meets and they are always offering to help her with random things (like when our car broke down) just because they want to get her number. I get noticed a lot less, but at the same time, I get in longer term relationships than any of them do. I've seen my friends get boyfriends for a week or a few months at most and I'm glad I don't have that problem. The men who date me tend to stick with me for years. And I agree with a lot of the comments. Men I date tend to tell me I am intelligent and all around a person they enjoy to be with. I don't sleep around (I've only had sex with two men my entire life and I am 25) and I'm very faithful in relationships. I'm drama free for the most part and I make time for them. I don't dress as a slut, I usually dress rather tastefully. I don't flirt around and I give them sex whenever they want it (and try to keep it interesting by having an open mind.) And most people label me as a good girl in person because of my morals and the fact that I'm sort of shy/quiet. Men tell me they love me, tell me they want to marry me, and tell me I'd be a wonderful mother on a regular basis. In fact, two men that I only casually dated for a few weeks (but wasn't in a relationship with) told me they were in love with me right after I broke-up with them. I've actually never had a problem with men professing love to me or being willing to commit to me once they are interested. The only area where I struggle is attracting them in the first place. If you also know how to grill a steak and rebuild a transmission then you are the perfect woman. nevermind the steaks, i know how to do that. keep being who you're being enchanted girl, you're not necessarily in the right age bracket yet for men who are looking for long term relationships and possible marriage, but in another 3 or 4 years you'll start to find a lot more of them once you outgrow the bar scene, they'll be looking for you, not your hot friend.
rafallus Posted June 25, 2011 Posted June 25, 2011 I've heard my entire life that there are girls a man will screw and girls a man will marry And there girls a man will do both to. These things aren't mutually exclusive. In fact, for me at least, former is a requirement for latter.
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