irc333 Posted June 24, 2011 Posted June 24, 2011 Okay, lately I've talked with some married friends that told me how they met each other. Unusually, I'd hear the woman state, playfully, "Yeah, he worked out at the gym I worked at, and he must've asked me out 3 times before I said yes." And kind of laugh it off. In some movies (although movies aren't a good act to follow), you see a guy doing this...and when that gugy leaves, she kinda smiles (she acutally liked him, but said no anyways) Is this representative too?
GivenUp0083 Posted June 24, 2011 Posted June 24, 2011 Are you asking if this works all the time? What do you think is the truth about this? If you're a complete stranger and you hound a woman to go out with you, I'm sure it won't work. That isn't to say it's never happened. Also, I'd guess the most likely scenario of persistence is when people become acquaintences or friends first. After getting to know one another, maybe a guy can playfully suggest going on a date, or maybe he asks her out but the women has reservations because 1.) She doesn't want to risk losing a good friend and/or 2.) She hasn't considered the possibility of dating that particular guy. I could very well see a woman in the latter scenario eventually being open to going out with the guy because maybe she needed time to consider the possibility and find out how she felt about him, and maybe his persistence showed her that he really does care about her and isn't just looking for a hook up or FWB. She may see him as a chance to be with someone that actually cares about her. She also could very well "settle" for him, time being against her and all as she approaches 30, 35, 40 years old, she figures she'll go out with him because why not? She may not have better options.
somedude81 Posted June 24, 2011 Posted June 24, 2011 Ask me again in a few months and I'll tell you if persistence can win somebody over.
Author irc333 Posted June 24, 2011 Author Posted June 24, 2011 Ask me again in a few months and I'll tell you if persistence can win somebody over. WHy? You trying to do this with a woman? lol
somedude81 Posted June 24, 2011 Posted June 24, 2011 WHy? You trying to do this with a woman? lol Yup. Read over some of the threads I've made. Basically there is a girl that I've liked for a little more than a year. She knows that I like her and has rejected me a few times. But I haven't given up. And in this time period we've gotten closer together and have done more things. Assuming she's feeling fine we're going out next week. My plan is to keep hanging out with her at least once every two weeks through the rest of the summer while being persistent but not pushy towards her. Maybe she'll fall for me, maybe she won't. There's only one way to find out.
cerridwen Posted June 24, 2011 Posted June 24, 2011 (edited) Yup. Read over some of the threads I've made. Basically there is a girl that I've liked for a little more than a year. She knows that I like her and has rejected me a few times. But I haven't given up. And in this time period we've gotten closer together and have done more things. Assuming she's feeling fine we're going out next week. My plan is to keep hanging out with her at least once every two weeks through the rest of the summer while being persistent but not pushy towards her. Maybe she'll fall for me, maybe she won't. There's only one way to find out. Good luck, somedude. Your situation sounds a bit more promising than the usual scenario. I've never been won over by any form of persistence. I know fairly quickly if the person is someone I'd be into. Right or wrong, my mind can't be changed after that. To try and do so is nothing less than annoying. As Carhill says, "one data point". Edited June 24, 2011 by cerridwen
Ross MwcFan Posted June 24, 2011 Posted June 24, 2011 I would've thought being persistant would just annoy a woman. If a woman isn't interested, I'd just move on. Next.
Ross MwcFan Posted June 24, 2011 Posted June 24, 2011 It generally works with me. *shrugs So how come you deny them at first?
Janesays Posted June 24, 2011 Posted June 24, 2011 So how come you deny them at first? I've never been immediately interested in anyone. I've never been instantly attracted to someone, either. I'm just not a very visual person, I guess. Generally, I classify every guy I meet as 'neutral.' However, if a guy is persistent, he can spark some level of attraction if he's charming/funny/sweet enough.
Ross MwcFan Posted June 24, 2011 Posted June 24, 2011 Oh okay, I understand, like when you start to know his personality a bit more?
Janesays Posted June 24, 2011 Posted June 24, 2011 Oh okay, I understand, like when you start to know his personality a bit more? Exactly.
grkBoy Posted June 24, 2011 Posted June 24, 2011 Persistence can only work if she finds the man even remotely attractive. If she's totally not into him, then it'll never work. It's only when you're a "maybe" to her.
somedude81 Posted June 25, 2011 Posted June 25, 2011 Yup. Read over some of the threads I've made. Basically there is a girl that I've liked for a little more than a year. She knows that I like her and has rejected me a few times. But I haven't given up. And in this time period we've gotten closer together and have done more things. Assuming she's feeling fine we're going out next week. My plan is to keep hanging out with her at least once every two weeks through the rest of the summer while being persistent but not pushy towards her. Maybe she'll fall for me, maybe she won't. There's only one way to find out. Good luck, somedude. Your situation sounds a bit more promising than the usual scenario. Yay, I have a "date" for Monday. Going to the aquarium. A few months ago she would have refused to go with me. It's pretty much understood that we're going as friends but I'll just think of it as a date I got some fun ideas of what we can do afterwards. This could be a nice day, a really nice day, or end up absolutely horrible. We shall see.
rafallus Posted June 25, 2011 Posted June 25, 2011 you HAVE to be persistent to get a lady... so yes it works, its a necessity to be persistent. You can be persistent in doing what she wants you to do, and you can be persistent in creeping her out. But it's not necessary either way. I had girls who were more like chasing me than I was chasing them. All I did was just rewarding their effort.
Ruby Slippers Posted June 25, 2011 Posted June 25, 2011 Most of the guys I've had relationships with had to work on me to get me involved with them. The guy I ended up having the strongest bond with had to work the hardest. It's kind of reassuring when a guy is very persistent, because then you know he REALLY wants you. And when they get you, they act like they are just over the moon -- for a while, at least.
Woggle Posted June 25, 2011 Posted June 25, 2011 It either wins her over or gets you a restraining order.
carhill Posted June 25, 2011 Posted June 25, 2011 I've never been won over by any form of persistence. I know fairly quickly if the person is someone I'd be into. Right or wrong, my mind can't be changed after that. To try and do so is nothing less than annoying. Save for one very annoying (annoyed with myself for my stupidity) anecdote, I've aligned with this methodology for a lifetime, in that I've always accepted a woman's rejection as her truth. How she rejected decided whether she might enjoy the benefit of my association/friendship/business down the road. I see the 'how' as a measure of character. My data point turns upon my own psychology of 'care', wherein to 'persist' is to 'care' in excess of what is healthy. A man who can persist without caring, more as sport, can perhaps have a healthier, more equitable outcome. Once 'persistence' has paid off positively, then perhaps he begins to 'care'. My brain isn't wired that way so I gave up. Good luck
Ruby Slippers Posted June 25, 2011 Posted June 25, 2011 On hand I can understand you, Men are "scarier" so you need to be more careful. Men also have a tendency to be jerks so it's important to filter those out. Yes. Many, many men are wolves in sheep's clothing, and holding every one at bay for a while to see more of what he's made of is very smart, IMO. On the other hand, it seems highly narcisstic and "princessy like" to want the guy to work to get you and be really persistent and chase you. It just comes of as you wanting to be put on a pedestal and have the upper hand. Even though I guess thats not the intention. I don't want to be put on a pedestal at ALL (BTDT), and I don't need the upper hand. However, I do want us to be on an even playing field. Knowing that he's truly interested is a good starting point. Because I'm not going to get serious with a guy I'm not really into, and I do need to verify that the feeling is mutual and I'm not just his flavor of the week.
AD1980 Posted June 25, 2011 Posted June 25, 2011 I take a no as a no not as the 7th time i ask her she might say yes or might get a restraining order on me
rafallus Posted June 25, 2011 Posted June 25, 2011 and sorry but no, women dont chase men. Just because it didn't happen to you, doesn't mean it didn't happen to anyone else. That doesn't sound very uplifting, but that's the way it is. In fact for a while it was pretty much only way I could get any girls due to me being enormously passive overall, which is hardly a virtue, but times are changing, thankfully...
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