Sansa Posted June 24, 2011 Posted June 24, 2011 I feel in my heart my husband is cheating. It feels so real to me his attitude and demeanor say it all. My question is will he leave our family if he is. Will he walk out on us cause I am standing strong and not going to allow it but although I appear strong I am hurting and scared that being tough will push him away however on the other hand if I don't stand my ground he will walk all over me and I will continue to be hurt and loose my self esteem. So I have decided to stand strong and face him head to head and if he walks put on us I will be devastated but I will know he didn't love me. We have a 15 month baby girl and I'm 4 months pregnant. We planned both pregnancies and truly wanted a family together. That's what's so confusing how can he change his mind now. By the things he's saying I feel he has one foot out the door but at the same time I can tell something is keeping him from walking out I just don't know how strong that something is. I have told him what I will and will not accept from him and he seems to be trying to negotiate with me asking me to compromise but for me with the circumstances there is no compromise. So I guess what I'm going to find out is how much I mean to him. He is also trying to turn things on me. Do men just forget about their families and why? Just four months ago he was eager to have our second child so I agreed. Now after this i asked him why he wanted another baby and he said I begged him which is a complete lie and hurtful. My entire family knows this baby was a mutual decision just like my first baby was. Is he going to tell our family that he doesn't want our children? I didn't get here without him I thought this was our plan not my plan now he makes it seem like everything kids and all was all my plan and that really sucks!! I've told him that if he can't give our family 100 percent I won't take any less and he can walk. It hurt but I'm going to demand my husband back and if I cant have him back in the capacity I want him I'm gonna cry my eyes out behind closed doors get over it with lots of time and raise my two daughters the best that I can. At least this way I will have self esteem left. I'm worried about my baby I haven't ate in 4 days I can't keep anything down. I have one thing going for me lots of family support and love from them. He knows that. I just wonder if he's willing to tear our new family apart. Any thought will help
frozensprouts Posted June 25, 2011 Posted June 25, 2011 so sorry you are hurting right now... have you tried outright asking him what is going on? if so, what did he say? what behaviors is he exhibiting? is he out a lot with no explanation of where he is going? is he suddenly using email/facebook/internet chat/texting a lot more than usual, and gets all freaked out if you ask to see what he's writing? does he suddenly seem unhappy when just a few weeks ( or even days) he seemed fine? if you answer yes to these, he MAY be in an affair ( emotional or physical) but that is by no means certain. it is also possible that he is nervous about having another baby ( doesn't mean he didn't want one when you two were trying) but now, that it's real, it may seem overwhelming to him and he may be worried. Pregnancy can be hard on dads too. if you are really worried, you need to talk to him and try not to be judgmental. you need to know what is going on. hope everything works out for you
Author Sansa Posted June 26, 2011 Author Posted June 26, 2011 I am 32 and my husband is 38 he will be 39 in a month. He is just not treating me as gently and kindly as he used to. He is very harsh with me and easily frustrated. Use to he adored me. We did have a pretty good talk tonight in which he told me that he feels he can't make me happy and that he doesn't know what to do. He said it hurts him to think I think he's cheating and that he has a bad attitude because he feels like he gives 100 percent of everything to our family and that because he lied to me one night about going out I blew up and no longer trust him. He also said that it hurts him to think that I think he would cheat on me and that I look at him that way. He said he looks at me now and I look so sad and upset and miserable that he doesn't know what to do and it gives him a bad attitude. I don't know if he's telling the truth but his attitude was bad before that. I don't know what's going to happen here. I'm so emotional and it's hard for me to get myself together. I am so sensitive, tonight we were at a family event And I was trying to be extra kind to him. I asked him where he'd like to sit with our daughter so I could put the diaper bag down. He ignored me, I asked again, he ignored me, one more time I asked and his reply was very loud just put the damn diaper bag down wherever. I immediately burst into tears in front of my family I couldn't hold back it's just when were arguing like this I'm so sensitive to anything he does. I'm also 5 months pregnant and I feel he's not in love with me and doesn't want our baby which hurts worse so I'm crying all the time. My family is of course concerned. He was shocked I started crying and embarrassed I think cause everyone was there. He did apologize but I was already hurt. What is wrong with me? I feel so confussed and emotional.
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