tommybur Posted June 24, 2011 Posted June 24, 2011 So tonight i called my ex and i told her it would mean a lot to me if i could see her before i leave for europe. Its her bday this saturday and i leave friday. We broke up 2 weeks ago, she gave me the whole my hearts just not in it anymore, i dont feel the same about you. We have been heading downhill the past few months, i never really changed things that would cause us to get into fights, i took her for granted. But i loved that girl with all my heart. I guess i just never showed her how much she really meant to me. She is the girl of my dreams, i just thought i could be forgiven and not worry about what exactly i was doing wrong to cause our arguments. Well, i drove her away. Ive been an absolute mess these past two weeks. Tongiht i saw her and we spoke small talk for a bit. then i went on and told her that i was so sorry for everything and we have a special bond, that i now see what i was doing wrong. I told her that i really care for her and want her to be happy. then as i was leaving i gave her some flowers and a card and her favorite candy in a basket. She started to cry, and said you really shouldnt have done this. i said i wanted to do this for you from my heart. i care for you. so an hour after i got home i texted her thanks again for seeing me tonight. i hope you like the card. i never got a text back. what do i do now? im so lonely and i miss her so much. i just want to make things good between us. thanks everyone for reading tommy
Mack05 Posted June 24, 2011 Posted June 24, 2011 (edited) Tommy I think most people on this forum will tell you to leave her go. You both need time (not a few weeks, but a few months) to figure everything out. You need to try gain acceptance that the relationship is over. If you continue to chase her, you will push her further and further away. That is a guarentee. The best thing you can do now is stay no contact. Over the next few days and weeks there will be MASSIVE urges to break NC. You will make discoveries that you feel you have to share with her. You will think if she hears this then things will change. They won't mate. Your in pain so you want to talk to the one person in the world that can cure your pain, but she can't. She will only make your pain worse and you will get yourself into a bigger and bigger hole. You need to grieve, go through the pain and then try to move on from her. There is no quick fix here. No fast relief from a broken heart. You need to accept the relationship is over and that its very probable she will never contact you again. If you truly care for her happiness, then leave her go mate. I know it's hard, but that is what you must do. Focus on yourself. Go over the mistakes you made and learn from them. Edited June 24, 2011 by Mack05
Author tommybur Posted June 24, 2011 Author Posted June 24, 2011 its just so hard to really accept the fact that i may never be with her again. but you are right, i must gain control over myself and let things just be. shes heard my pleading and asking for forgiveness. she knows how i feel. no i guess i just have to leave it to fate. very very very difficult time for me...i guess its good im leaving for europe for a few weeks. itll give me time to concetrate on me.
oldguy Posted June 24, 2011 Posted June 24, 2011 (edited) I think more relationships go this rout than the angry, hateful break ups we hear more about. I'm sorry you are hurting. This is how my 20+ year marriage ended almost 10 years ago. As a word of encouragement I can tell you that I am at a better place now than I could have imagined then. Things will get better, step by step. Hang in there and know every night that, unfortunately, there are multitudes going through what you are, so your not alone. Edited June 24, 2011 by oldguy
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