Von Posted June 24, 2011 Posted June 24, 2011 There has been several threads lately all dealing with this and that regarding people not happy with a certain part of their partner or pointing out some common social perceptions that are clearly being misunderstood by many. I'd like to bring that all together and give some people the opportunity for some (hopefully) objective advice. The subjects are: breast size, penis size, height, weight, and let's throw general looks in there too. I think we can all agree attraction for the opposite sex is not logical. We don't sit around trying to decide if we are attracted to someone, we just are. It's an emotional and instinctual response. It is part of our "animal nature". Go watch discovery channel shows about animal mating and you see a clear resemblance to our own mating habits. It's kinda funny actually how most species mate in such a similar matter. Human and societal (and religious) views of sexual attraction have changed over the centuries, mostly regarding what is acceptable and perceived to be within our boundaries, causing some of us to conform within those views and others to be able to see outside that "box". Regarding breast size. This one has been heated on here lately. Let's put some common views out there. Most men are attracted to large breasts. This is a fact. Why? Because "instinctually" males see larger breasts as a woman being more capable of providing nourishment for their offspring. This came from our evolution and "survival of the fittest". This doesn't mean every guy thinks this way. Everyone is different right. But we can't deny what we are genetically encoded to be. Now, in our current society science has provided a medical way to enhance breast size. The point here is, if it didn't matter to men it wouldn't be available right? It is so common now that when I see someone getting offended from any mention of getting a "boob job" it saddens me. It's really not a big deal anymore. If you are a woman and your happy with what you have and get no complaints from men, good for you. If you are however a man and only date larger breasted woman, that's your "instinctual" choice, and if you are dating someone that is smaller yet wish she was larger, your relationship and communication level with your girl can determine whether it's ok to approach the subject. That's just the truth. I myself have had no problem bringing it up in the past because those women I dated were open minded. It's that simple. They agreed they would do that if the means became available. One last thing here before someone mentions it, yes, a smaller breasted woman can raise a child. Just as well as any. That's not the issue. It's that a mans animal attraction from eons ago is still the same. You can even make a joke that women have evolved more the men over the years lol. Besides, compatibility mixed with attraction will always trump just physical needs anyways. Penis size (and impotence). Like breast size this can be a touchy subject for some. It's almost the same thing but opposite. Women are instinctually attracted to a larger penis (and one that works) because it means a better chance at provided offspring. (on both I'm not saying this is what your goal is, but that's what the reasoning behind the attraction REALLY is). Most men are "average". They are well enough equipped to perform their part in mating. But as we evolved we made that also apart of our "sexual relationship compatability". Nothing wrong with that. Women select what works for them. And again there is medical enhancement although it's less common. If your happy with your partners size, good for you. If not go for what makes you happy or suggest alternatives. There is a reason Viagra sells so much after all Height and weight. Same deal. Go for what works for you. Obviously we can't change height (other than with heels or tall shoes lol), weight is definitely within our control though. I've been with someone who gained weight during the relationship and then lost it with a little prodding from me. It's all in how you broach the subject. I liked to make it a "we" thing so as not to make her upset or uncomfortable. Ok so let's just agree that there is nothing wrong with being selective, and in the majority of cases there is nothing wrong with helping your partner be more attractive to you, if that is something you are both willing to work on. It can be as simple as some new clothes to something more difficult but may be worth discussing if that person is worth the effort. Let's discuss and let's keep things civil. Opposing opinions welcome.
oaks Posted June 24, 2011 Posted June 24, 2011 You'll get a better discussion if you start with an inflammatory statement. Here's the usual template: I met a [man/woman] and we bumped uglies, but now I notice that [his/her] [insert name of body part] is really [big/small] and I really would prefer [it/them] to be [small/big]. The sex is good, but should I dump [him/her] for clearly being inferior and unworthy.
OpenBook Posted June 24, 2011 Posted June 24, 2011 So if your penis was too small for your partner, you would expect her to "help you be more attractive to her" - including urging you to go get (very painful) penis enlargement surgery with such delightful side effects as difficulty urinating... as long as both of you are willing to work on it. Right?
Eternal Sunshine Posted June 24, 2011 Posted June 24, 2011 I don't get your OP on an emotional level. If I emotionally bond with someone, then I LOVE all of them. They are not sum of body parts. Sure, I can objectively say to myself "he has smaller than an average penis" - but it doesn't change my attraction or love even a little bit.
vsmini Posted June 24, 2011 Posted June 24, 2011 I kind of cringe when I see people post evolutionary theories as almost-facts on loveshack. I was a genetics/evolution major and your breast theory, though popular, is ultimately incorrect and has been outdated now for some 10-15 years. I don't think there is anything wrong about being selective based on looks - it does seem pretty natural to do so. I just have the very odd trend of getting serious with guys that start off, to me, as not being very attractive. I'll me mildly, sometimes not attracted to them at all but go out on a few dates with them - find out that I really like their personality and after a few months I'm SUPER attracted to them. My BF now I guess would be considered universally good looking....but my last one wasnt. I really saw a knock out and my more-than-honest friends told me they didn't understand why I was with a guy that looked like him. Shallow I know but I thought he was lovely.
AlexDP Posted June 24, 2011 Posted June 24, 2011 I don't understand why you would need to help your partner. If you weren't attracted to him/her in the first place, why on Earth is he/she your partner? The only thing I can imagine is that things change. Since breast size and penis size do not change, these are not really issues that matter. Becoming overweight and thus becoming less attractive for example is something different. Also for the record: I have liked women with different breast sizes. Some larger than average, some quite small. All in all I there might be a particular size I prefer, but it would probably be smaller than average. I don't think every man out there would agree with me.
Eternal Sunshine Posted June 24, 2011 Posted June 24, 2011 I read somewhere that only 60% of men prefer larger breasts.
oldguy Posted June 24, 2011 Posted June 24, 2011 There has been several threads lately all dealing with this and that regarding people not happy with a certain part of their partner or pointing out some common social perceptions that are clearly being misunderstood by many. I'd like to bring that all together and give some people the opportunity for some (hopefully) objective advice. The subjects are: breast size, penis size, height, weight, and let's throw general looks in there too. I think we can all agree attraction for the opposite sex is not logical. We don't sit around trying to decide if we are attracted to someone, we just are. It's an emotional and instinctual response. It is part of our "animal nature". Go watch discovery channel shows about animal mating and you see a clear resemblance to our own mating habits. It's kinda funny actually how most species mate in such a similar matter. Human and societal (and religious) views of sexual attraction have changed over the centuries, mostly regarding what is acceptable and perceived to be within our boundaries, causing some of us to conform within those views and others to be able to see outside that "box". Regarding breast size. This one has been heated on here lately. Let's put some common views out there. Most men are attracted to large breasts. This is a fact. It's not a fact, it's a perception & the root of it is men posturing in front of each other when they see breast because... well the because is too lengthy & well as irrelevant at this time.Why? Because "instinctually" males see larger breasts as a woman being more capable of providing nourishment for their offspring. This came from our evolution and "survival of the fittest". This doesn't mean every guy thinks this way. Everyone is different right. But we can't deny what we are genetically encoded to be. Now, in our current society science has provided a medical way to enhance breast size. The point here is, if it didn't matter to men it wouldn't be available right? It is so common now that when I see someone getting offended from any mention of getting a "boob job" it saddens me. It's really not a big deal anymore. If you are a woman and your happy with what you have and get no complaints from men, good for you. If you are however a man and only date larger breasted woman, that's your "instinctual" choice, and if you are dating someone that is smaller yet wish she was larger, your relationship and communication level with your girl can determine whether it's ok to approach the subject. That's just the truth. I myself have had no problem bringing it up in the past because those women I dated were open minded. It's that simple. They agreed they would do that if the means became available. One last thing here before someone mentions it, yes, a smaller breasted woman can raise a child. Just as well as any. That's not the issue. It's that a mans animal attraction from eons ago is still the same. You can even make a joke that women have evolved more the men over the years lol. Besides, compatibility mixed with attraction will always trump just physical needs anyways. Penis size (and impotence). Like breast size this can be a touchy subject for some. It's almost the same thing but opposite. Women are instinctually attracted to a larger penis (and one that works) because it means a better chance at provided offspring. (on both I'm not saying this is what your goal is, but that's what the reasoning behind the attraction REALLY is). Most men are "average". They are well enough equipped to perform their part in mating. But as we evolved we made that also apart of our "sexual relationship compatability". Nothing wrong with that. Women select what works for them. And again there is medical enhancement although it's less common. If your happy with your partners size, good for you. If not go for what makes you happy or suggest alternatives. There is a reason Viagra sells so much after all Height and weight. Same deal. Go for what works for you. Obviously we can't change height (other than with heels or tall shoes lol), weight is definitely within our control though. I've been with someone who gained weight during the relationship and then lost it with a little prodding from me. It's all in how you broach the subject. I liked to make it a "we" thing so as not to make her upset or uncomfortable. Ok so let's just agree that there is nothing wrong with being selective, and in the majority of cases there is nothing wrong with helping your partner be more attractive to you, if that is something you are both willing to work on. It can be as simple as some new clothes to something more difficult but may be worth discussing if that person is worth the effort. Let's discuss and let's keep things civil. Opposing opinions welcome. hmm, I don't agree with your conclusions as they seem to have more of an emotionally generated bias than current statistical facts & social norms, but that's fine. I can't help but wonder, based on the view you presented so far, if relationships should be based on attraction rather than interpersonal compatibility. Should we just go for the hottest SO we can get or build a relationships with people we actually like?
angielove Posted June 24, 2011 Posted June 24, 2011 How in the heck does a larger penis size have anything to do with increased ability to fertilise eggs?!? Sperm count is what matters! And that, my friends, is located in the testicles! Saying that females should be attracted to men with giant balls "due to evolution" would have made a lot more sense PS. When I like/love someone, I like/love all of them! PPS. If my boyfriend thought it was completely fine to discuss me getting a boob job, he would be sadly mistaken.
Andy_K Posted June 24, 2011 Posted June 24, 2011 My understanding of evolution was that the attraction of breast size had nothing to do with nourishment for offspring, and everything to do with it being easier to judge a woman's age when she has larger breasts due to the sag factor. Men with a preference for big, firm boobs would only select young mates and leave lots of offspring Men with a preference for big, saggy boobs would pick older mates and leave fewer offspring Men with a preference for smaller boobs would be more likely to have varied mate ages and be somewhere in between. End result -> more men in the next generation with a preference for big firm boobs.
rafallus Posted June 24, 2011 Posted June 24, 2011 In the end it has little discussion value IMO. Either you are turned on by somebody, or you aren't. If not, then nothing helps. If yes, then well not everyone has the same taste, so if sth turns me on, doesn't mean that it will turn you on...
oldguy Posted June 24, 2011 Posted June 24, 2011 How in the heck does a larger penis size have anything to do with increased ability to fertilise eggs?!? Sperm count is what matters! And that, my friends, is located in the testicles! Saying that females should be attracted to men with giant balls "due to evolution" would have made a lot more sense Most of the OP evolutionary theory was highly flawed and at the very least out dated. PS. When I like/love someone, I like/love all of them! PPS. If my boyfriend thought it was completely fine to discuss me getting a boob job, he would be sadly mistaken.I believe you speak for the majority My understanding of evolution was that the attraction of breast size had nothing to do with nourishment for offspring, and everything to do with it being easier to judge a woman's age when she has larger breasts due to the sag factor.As stated earlier; a significant contributing factor with regards to large breasts is men posturing for each other. I think if there is an overwhelming preference it would be towards shape rather than size. I dated a woman with large breasts when we where both in our 20's and I have to be honest, her breasts where more appealing when they where supported.
oaks Posted June 24, 2011 Posted June 24, 2011 End result -> more men in the next generation with a preference for big firm boobs. Assuming that's true, then it only holds if boob preference is an inherited trait from father to son. The scientific community seems able to get money to study all sorts of silly things, so I'm sure someone will fund this.
oldguy Posted June 24, 2011 Posted June 24, 2011 Assuming that's true, then it only holds if boob preference is an inherited trait from father to son. The scientific community seems able to get money to study all sorts of silly things, so I'm sure someone will fund this. That would be an interesting grant proposal. Oh forget it, my wife would kick my ars & even though I could use a good ars kicking someone else has probably done it or has been doing it for the past 60 years or so.
iris219 Posted June 24, 2011 Posted June 24, 2011 Regarding breast size. This one has been heated on here lately. Let's put some common views out there. Most men are attracted to large breasts. This is a fact. Why? Because "instinctually" males see larger breasts as a woman being more capable of providing nourishment for their offspring. This came from our evolution and "survival of the fittest". This doesn't mean every guy thinks this way. Everyone is different right. But we can't deny what we are genetically encoded to be. Now, in our current society science has provided a medical way to enhance breast size. The point here is, if it didn't matter to men it wouldn't be available right? It is so common now that when I see someone getting offended from any mention of getting a "boob job" it saddens me. It's really not a big deal anymore. If you are a woman and your happy with what you have and get no complaints from men, good for you. If you are however a man and only date larger breasted woman, that's your "instinctual" choice, and if you are dating someone that is smaller yet wish she was larger, your relationship and communication level with your girl can determine whether it's ok to approach the subject. That's just the truth. I myself have had no problem bringing it up in the past because those women I dated were open minded. It's that simple. They agreed they would do that if the means became available. One last thing here before someone mentions it, yes, a smaller breasted woman can raise a child. Just as well as any. That's not the issue. It's that a mans animal attraction from eons ago is still the same. You can even make a joke that women have evolved more the men over the years lol. Besides, compatibility mixed with attraction will always trump just physical needs anyways. Men are attracted to breasts. Most don't care about them being large. I've noticed that they prefer firm, well-shaped breasts. Clearly this isn't scientific, but I only know one man who prefers very large breasts and he would like them stuck to a wall. He’s been known to check out the boobs of 80 year old women (and he didn’t realize they were 80 because he never looked up.) Many men, especially when they prefer fit, athletic women like smallish to average sized breasts. One of my best friends is a personal trainer and smaller than an A and men love her. An ex who I’m still friendly with was getting set up by his sister with one of her friends. I called to see how the date went and he was very disappointed when he discovered she had large breasts. She was very short also, which he doesn’t like. He said maybe he could do one or the other, not both. He likes woman who look graceful and he thinks large breasts detract from this. BTW, I’m not flat chested (pretty average on a very small frame), so this wasn’t a rant in defense of tiny breasts. It’s just what I’ve noticed, personally. Anyway, if you prefer large breasts there's nothing wrong with it, but you can’t say all men do. What's considered large anyway? Some would say C cup, my boob man friend would say at least double DD's.
EasyHeart Posted June 24, 2011 Posted June 24, 2011 Different people are attracted to different things. Some people will like taller people, some shorter; some people like thin people, some like bigger people; some men like big breasts, some prefer smaller; some women prefer hairy men, some prefer hairless. All of that is perfectly normal and healthy. If we weren't all attracted to different looking people, then we'd all be chasing the same people. What I don't understand is why anyone would date someone they aren't attracted to. What sense does that make? How can you date someone for weeks/months and then suddenly notice that they're too fat, or their breasts are too small or they're too bald or whatever? That makes NO sense to me. If you're not attracted to someone DON'T DATE THEM!!! I think we all have a right to assume that if someone goes out with us, they must be attracted to us. That's certainly true for me -- I don't date ugly women. If I ask you out, then that means I consider you attractive enough to be my partner. It seems to me that if you date someone you're not attracted to, you're leading on the other person and basically committing fraud.
iris219 Posted June 24, 2011 Posted June 24, 2011 Different people are attracted to different things. Some people will like taller people, some shorter; some people like thin people, some like bigger people; some men like big breasts, some prefer smaller; some women prefer hairy men, some prefer hairless. All of that is perfectly normal and healthy. If we weren't all attracted to different looking people, then we'd all be chasing the same people. What I don't understand is why anyone would date someone they aren't attracted to. What sense does that make? How can you date someone for weeks/months and then suddenly notice that they're too fat, or their breasts are too small or they're too bald or whatever? That makes NO sense to me. If you're not attracted to someone DON'T DATE THEM!!! I think we all have a right to assume that if someone goes out with us, they must be attracted to us. That's certainly true for me -- I don't date ugly women. If I ask you out, then that means I consider you attractive enough to be my partner. It seems to me that if you date someone you're not attracted to, you're leading on the other person and basically committing fraud. Well said.
oldguy Posted June 24, 2011 Posted June 24, 2011 (edited) Men are attracted to breasts. Most don't care about them being large. I've noticed that they prefer firm, well-shaped breasts. This would be true Many men, especially when they prefer fit, athletic women like smallish to average sized breasts. One of my best friends is a personal trainer and smaller than an A and men love her. This is also so true, see my previous posts regarding men posturing in front of each other We keep saying the same things over & over about breast & penis size & it's been beaten too death, no pun intended. Most men seem to prefer shape to size in breasts. More men are concerned about penis size as well. Somewhere near 70% of men have average size penises and since I don't know how the larger than average & smaller than average are split lets assume it's 15% of each & since the only study I am aware of that included at least 3 universities and a substantial number of volunteers over a several year period, only measured potential, not actual length, to compare with other criteria including other body parts. The conclusions by they way where there are no conclusive correlations such as foot size to penis size or even height to penis size. As one person stated, that is as ridiculousness as saying a woman with a larger shoe size or a more pronounced nose would have larger breasts. As far as I know, (this didn't come from this university study), most men are just over 6" or a little longer than a dollar bill, (U.S. currency), although I have a friend who likes to say his is just a bit longer than a 20. And it is estimated than fewer than 1% extend into or beyond the 8" length. Oh, according to that multi-university study, concluded around 2005, the man that measured the most potential stood 5' 9 1/2" tall which is just slightly taller than the average height in North America or the U.K. Edited June 24, 2011 by oldguy
Els Posted June 24, 2011 Posted June 24, 2011 Eh, everyone has an optimal breast size, penis size, height, and weight that they prefer. Double Hs are definitely going to be too big for most men. So will 9 inch penises and 7' men be for most women. I could go on.
vsmini Posted June 24, 2011 Posted June 24, 2011 Also - don't rest on the evolution theories to base anything about our modern culture on. We are so far removed from what is natural that it's scary. If anything - any hard, natural wiring we have has been thrown out of wack from continuous media/tv hounding. Not to mention that we aren't hunting for our food or grunting in order to communicate anymore. We don't work like that. The evolution theory - though convenient to use - is just not working anymore. Plus - most people posting about evolution on this site are totally misinformed on the topic anyway.
somedude81 Posted June 24, 2011 Posted June 24, 2011 I wish there was some advice out there for when the vast majority of women reject me (before they get to know me) because I'm 5'6. The most common thing I've heard is "go for shorter girls," too bad lots of short girls want a really tall guy to make up for her lack of height. I've also been told that I should learn to be happy by myself in case nobody ever wants to date me. Um yay?
oldguy Posted June 24, 2011 Posted June 24, 2011 We are so far removed from what is natural that it's scary. If anything - any hard, natural wiring we have has been thrown out of wack from continuous media/tv hounding. The evolution theory - though convenient to use - is just not working anymore. This is so very true. Media has and is forming our habits, expectations & giving us a distorted perception of reality. People will complain about religion, (I'm not particularly religious), and how it tries to force it self & values on people & these same people will be totally obsorbed in "Reality" TV or some other form of television entertainment that they think or wish was their reality. Plus - most people posting about evolution on this site are totally misinformed on the topic anyway. Several have been pointing this out. It's what happens when you watch the history channel or Animal planet & form a hypothesis based on one of them.
oldguy Posted June 24, 2011 Posted June 24, 2011 I wish there was some advice out there for when the vast majority of women reject me (before they get to know me) because I'm 5'6. The most common thing I've heard is "go for shorter girls," too bad lots of short girls want a really tall guy to make up for her lack of height. I've also been told that I should learn to be happy by myself in case nobody ever wants to date me. Um yay? Tom Cruise, 5' 7" never had trouble with women. Well, at least not attracting them. Al Pacino, 5' 6" or 7", he was a ladies man & tough guy. Speaking of tough guys; Bruce Lee was under 5' 7" and arguably one of histories toughest guys. How about Frank Sinatra, Quincy Jones, Jason Priestly & the guy who played Joe on friends, I can't remember his name. The only thing short about you is your confidence. If a woman isn't intrested because you aren't "tall enough" she isn't worth getting to know.
somedude81 Posted June 24, 2011 Posted June 24, 2011 Tom Cruise, 5' 7" never had trouble with women. Well, at least not attracting them. Al Pacino, 5' 6" or 7", he was a ladies man & tough guy. Speaking of tough guys; Bruce Lee was under 5' 7" and arguably one of histories toughest guys. How about Frank Sinatra, Quincy Jones, Jason Priestly & the guy who played Joe on friends, I can't remember his name. The only thing short about you is your confidence. If a woman isn't intrested because you aren't "tall enough" she isn't worth getting to know. Matt LeBlanc, the guy who plays Joey is 5'10. Tom Cruise is good looking, Al Pacino is 5'7 but as you said he's a ladies man, which I am nowhere close to being. Never mind that them and all the rest are celebrities and have no trouble getting women, because they are celebrities. I'm much more interested in everyday dudes who are short, who have no problem with women.
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