youngskywalker Posted June 24, 2011 Posted June 24, 2011 My g/f and I are working towards a LTR and ultimately marriage (we've talked about it). I feel like sometimes she is asking the world of me though! My goal is to be able to provide for a family and have kids. I have a professional career but will have to move to a different area for better opportunity. She said she would follow wherever I go. Except, for a list of places where her career won't work out for her. O.K. go with me on this. I'll give you a list of things she wants out of a marriage. 1- I be the sole income provider 2- I buy her a house. 3- I give her babies. 4- She stays at home and takes care of the kids. I have no problem with any of this because it's what I ultimately want too. What makes me mad is that at the same time she wants her part time "pipe dream" career that brings in no income. I'm sorry but you can't have both a career and be a stay at home mom. If she chooses to want a career then I'm willing to gladly compromise. It wouldn't break my heart not to raise a family but I think she needs to make up her mind on what her priorities are. I've decided that I'm going to find the best job opportunity in a city that 'I' want to be in. If she decides she wants to follow me there, then awesome! If not I'll find a girl who does. Any thoughts?
tigressA Posted June 24, 2011 Posted June 24, 2011 Her career doesn't bring in any income? Is she a volunteer? I say go ahead and do what you want. It may force her to really consider her priorities and make a decision.
Author youngskywalker Posted June 24, 2011 Author Posted June 24, 2011 Her career doesn't bring in any income? Is she a volunteer? I say go ahead and do what you want. It may force her to really consider her priorities and make a decision. She's not a volunteer, but would want to go down so low on a part time basis that it would basically become merely a hobby for her she doesn't have to pay for. This one isn't hard for me... basically I'm going to have to do what is best for me and my future. If I can accommodate her interests too I will but I'm not going to take second best with my career for a g/f.
tigressA Posted June 24, 2011 Posted June 24, 2011 She's not a volunteer, but would want to go down so low on a part time basis that it would basically become merely a hobby for her she doesn't have to pay for. This one isn't hard for me... basically I'm going to have to do what is best for me and my future. If I can accommodate her interests too I will but I'm not going to take second best with my career for a g/f. Good for you. I wish you the best and hope that your relationship continues. If it doesn't, it wasn't meant to be.
Imajerk17 Posted June 24, 2011 Posted June 24, 2011 She the one who watches movies in other guys' hotel rooms? Run! She's probably going to cheat on you, if she hasn't already.
Rinas Posted June 24, 2011 Posted June 24, 2011 Is she the same girl with the sexual incompatibility issues?
vsmini Posted June 24, 2011 Posted June 24, 2011 OMG YES! is this the girl that likes to watch movies with guys in hotel rooms? jay-sus. Even with that aside - do what is best for you. You seem to be a level-headed person about this issue. She has to be open to where you're moving as well.
samspade Posted June 24, 2011 Posted June 24, 2011 Why are you letting her dictate the terms of the marriage? Better yet, why are you discussing marriage if you're still "working toward a LTR"? Explore your options.
thatone Posted June 24, 2011 Posted June 24, 2011 you're on the right track. if she told you she wanted you to be the sole provider should that day come then you are perfectly within your right to move wherever your career takes you. if she complains, leave her. tell her to make up her damn mind, she can go or stay. and i agree that if this is the same one that you know was cheating on you there's no reason to even consider what she wants, because she doesn't know what she wants and trying to appease her will just drag you down with her.
Author youngskywalker Posted June 24, 2011 Author Posted June 24, 2011 Yeah it's all the same girl. The sexual issues we are dealing with finely. As for the guy in her hotel room he turned out to be 55 and gay (?) Talked about that too and she reassured me she doesn't have men of any interest in her room. Oh well, I took the bait. Not thrilled about it but I trust her so.... [there's no reason to even consider what she wants, because she doesn't know what she wants and trying to appease her will just drag you down with her.] Well said, thatone.
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