Kazmi Posted June 25, 2011 Posted June 25, 2011 Blaming the ex is just easy. You were with these people for a period of time, so now because they broke it up you suddenly don't remember the good times you had? You chose spending a time from your life with that person, it probably means something. I don't think THEY hold the blame and don't think YOU hold the blame for the relationship's end. I think it's only lack of compatibility. Hate is such a pointless, strong, emotion. If you focus on them and don't try to find how you did wrong you may get dumped again, by another person, and then find yourself whining "how come all my partner are ****? I'm so unlucky" Just because they dumped you it doesn't make them a bad person. A long time ago I met some guy who I considered a friend, not more, he kept asking me out and just plainly drove me mad! I didn't want to date, I was too young, plus he didn't attract me. In his eyes we had something.. One day I shouted at him and told him he is driving me mad and I can't stay in contact with him, I didnt want to hurt him so I did stay in contact for so long but I couldn't do it anymore.. He told me "you are such an egoistic person" It really hurt me :/ for no reason! Did he really expect me being with him even though I don't like him? I did try my best to be his friend but it was just impossible! I know it's different, we weren't in a relationship but the concept is the same (I didn't have an example since I've had only one relationship and I'm the dumpee ), you can't hate them for leaving you, unless they did it in a very dishonoring manner and tried to make you feel bad. Plus, the lists you make that have those wonderful bits of "they never loved me" and other bits when you speak of their emotions... Is just wrong! How can you know such a thing? You read your mind? Do you feel their hearts? The only thing you have is what they say, and sometimes they say things just to be able to cope! You cannot know! Make a list of how they behaved, not how you think they felt
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