lillypad24 Posted June 24, 2011 Posted June 24, 2011 Long story short. My ex and I had a very bad break up. He didn't accept it as soon as I wanted him to and it just turned ugly. We both said some mean things to each other in the end and I told him never to contact me again. Anyways, after 3 months of no contact, I get this email from him. How do you guys think it comes off or should I even respond to it? I didn’t message you to bother you. I’m not asking anything of you, I just wanted you to know that after all this time I accept responsibility for the mistakes that lead to the unfortunate ending we had where threats and insults just escalated out of control. The truth is, it was a very bad time of my life when the break up happened, I was depressed and simply just wanted to keep you at least as a friend because you were always good at making me feel better and I really needed that at the time. After you got really angry and said you didn’t want to be friends anymore, I panicked and kept trying to contact you to make things better and take back what I said. You interpreted me trying to make amends as freaking you out and thinking I was crazy and I was completely unaware at the time I was making things far worst since I was a complete mess. For what it’s worth, I learned a valuable lesson from this and should have just respected your decision to break up immediately without any arguing despite what I was going through and this is a mistake I will never make again. Looking back on it now, I am extremely disappointed and shocked I handled things the way I did and feel embarrassed and I can’t really blame you for becoming so harsh with me. This experience really made me realize I had to change who I was. I don’t want any hard feelings and didn’t want to leave things the way we left them back in Feb. It is a shame because we could have very easily been on good terms and at least walked away with mutual respect but instead I screwed things up to the point where you hated me and just wanted me to go away and I’ll always feel regret making you feel that way. It was important for me to send this because I believe in taking responsibility for my mistakes and want you to know ending on bad terms was the last thing I ever wanted. Good bye and good luck.
Author lillypad24 Posted June 24, 2011 Author Posted June 24, 2011 I don't know, I'm trying to figure out if he wants me back or if he just feels guilty over losing control and wanted to simply apologize. I did think he was crazy at the time for not letting go.
nikkinicole36 Posted June 24, 2011 Posted June 24, 2011 I think it was just an apology and nothing more. The question is do you want to write back and do you want him back?
lipvixen2011 Posted June 24, 2011 Posted June 24, 2011 I honestly think it's a little of both. He has been angry this whole time about how things went down and how you didn't want anything to do with him. He probably just finally started to realize (after being mad for so long) that he was in the wrong when it came to not letting go but you have to realize sometimes when you love someone and they break things off with you, not everyone is going to be as accepting as others, especially if they really love you. It's pretty much devastating. He's probably known longer than 3 months that he shouldn't have reacted that way and just now putting into words for you to read. Maybe he waiting 3 months because if he would have done it any sooner it probably would have been waaaay different and probably even asking you back, if that's the case at all. It's really up to you and how you feel. You can respond in a friendly manner and tell him you accept his apology and you can somewhat understand why he was so upset and not mention anything about the breakup or getting back together or if you actually do want to work things out and see how things go still email him and say exactly what I said before but still not mention anything about the relationship or getting back together but just see if you guys can be friends and go from there. As long as there isn't any ill feelings still on either end. It's honestly really up to you want you want..if you just don't care then don't respond at all! Then there will always be that "what if" if you don't...
TearyEyedPride Posted June 24, 2011 Posted June 24, 2011 He's sincerely apologizing. It sounds like he's coming to terms that he made a mistake by freaking out, but now he's at a point where he can accept the breakup. You've already gone NC, so it's probably a last reach out before he moves on. I say if you really don't want him back, please don't reply so he can move on and began to heal for himself and stop holding on to hope.
lalalandman Posted June 24, 2011 Posted June 24, 2011 That's a tough one. He's genuinely sorry for sure. You're unsure if he wants you back. Do you want him back?
Author lillypad24 Posted June 24, 2011 Author Posted June 24, 2011 No I don't want him back, I'm dating someone new now. I told him he was not even worth being in a relationship with the last time we spoke. That was a pretty horrible thing to say to him which is probably what caused things to get so heated the last time we spoke. I don't know if its possible being on good terms or even civil terms when stuff like that was said between us...
Mack05 Posted June 24, 2011 Posted June 24, 2011 I would stay NC. Two things are happening here. Either he is hoping his letter will somehow make you want to make him contact him again, or he is genuinely sorry. Either way the best course of action is to say nothing. If he is really sorry then he won't contact you again...Focus on your new guy
Chi townD Posted June 24, 2011 Posted June 24, 2011 It was an apology. I would stay NC. But, you have to give the guy credit, he did own up to his screw ups and was man enough to admit he was wrong for his part in the break up. I don't know anything as to what happened between the two of you, but I kinda respect the guy for at least reaching out and admitting he was wrong. Good on him, sounds like he's gonna be just fine!
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