greenicherub Posted April 20, 2004 Posted April 20, 2004 I really need advice. My bf and i have been together 8 mths. A few months after we started going out ,his neighbor started calling him all the time and stopping by his house. Their kids are friends and so he doesn't see a problem with it. I don't have a problem with them talking when it comes to the kids but she calls him to come over and help her fix stuff in her house. She will also invite herself over for dinner while i'm not there. He gets mad at me because he thinks i don't trust him. He also started to hide from me that she was still coming around. I found out by someone else that she was. I confronted him on this and he said he didn't tell me because he knew how i would feel about it. I told him that it is better for me to hear it from him than from someone else. I also told him that if he expects me to trust him he shouldn't hide stuff from me. He says he is not interested in her. If that is true why doesn't he tell her to back off?
Arabess Posted April 20, 2004 Posted April 20, 2004 It may be a totally innocent situation. Then again.....it may not be. The important part of the issue is how this is making YOU feel. All you can do is talk to him about it. If he isn't willing to make any compromises with you in regard to your feelings, and he certainly doesn't have to, then you have to decide if this is a person you want to build a future with. It's a hard call....but an important one.
Fedup&givingup Posted April 20, 2004 Posted April 20, 2004 I don't like the fact that he's now hiding it. That's just wrong. It's not like this wasn't happening, and then you found out through the grapevine that his neighbor was coming around while you weren't there. I would be skeptical, and you are obviously very aware of the situation.
Vivid_29 Posted April 20, 2004 Posted April 20, 2004 If he gets all defensive, that probably means that he is full of s**t. If all of this is so innocent, why does he feel the need to hide it from you? All of this could be innocent, then again, it could not be. I would keep my eyes wide open! ~V
Fedup&givingup Posted April 20, 2004 Posted April 20, 2004 Originally posted by Vivid_29 If he gets all defensive, that probably means that he is full of s**t. If all of this is so innocent, why does he feel the need to hide it from you? All of this could be innocent, then again, it could not be. I would keep my eyes wide open! ~V EXactly. Good point...watch out for that defensive behavior! It's tricky because they con you into feeling guilty for your suspicion/accusation/curiosity.
Author greenicherub Posted April 20, 2004 Author Posted April 20, 2004 Originally posted by Vivid_29 If he gets all defensive, that probably means that he is full of s**t. If all of this is so innocent, why does he feel the need to hide it from you? He knows how i feel about the whole situation and he knows that i would be upset about her coming over. He says he don't want any problems between us. That is why he feels he has to hide it from me. What I don't get is why her friendship is so important to him. This chick is trying to start some s**t in the neighborhood. She is not only trying to hang out with my bf. There is a married guy who lives across the street from her. She would send her 8 yr old son over to his house to ask the guy to come over to her house. The guys wife got fed up with it and told her that she better not send her son over to their house again. That her husband does not need to be helping her with anything. I was thinking maybe I should go have a talk with her too.
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