AlisaMarie Posted June 23, 2011 Posted June 23, 2011 Why do I want him? Why do I feel compelled to tell him that he is the only one for me? Why can't I get him out of my mind after a million lies? WHY DO I LOVE THE PAIN? Please help me.
shortee143 Posted June 23, 2011 Posted June 23, 2011 It is the nature of the beast, so to say. We can know they are no good for us, or we deserve better, and truly believe that, yet all we want is them, and things to be the way they used to be. Sucks for sure. I (think) I still want my ex, but I say "think" bc after all the heartache and pain, could I really still want someone after that? It is frustrating, we want them, we think about them all the time- but at least for me, I want the person I thought my ex was back, not this version of him. In time, it'll fade. I'm 3 months out of my breakup, and I even see my ex all the time, and its still there but fading, partly bc I'm just exhausted from the hurt to keep caring!
Author AlisaMarie Posted June 23, 2011 Author Posted June 23, 2011 It is the nature of the beast, so to say. We can know they are no good for us, or we deserve better, and truly believe that, yet all we want is them, and things to be the way they used to be. Sucks for sure. I (think) I still want my ex, but I say "think" bc after all the heartache and pain, could I really still want someone after that? It is frustrating, we want them, we think about them all the time- but at least for me, I want the person I thought my ex was back, not this version of him. In time, it'll fade. I'm 3 months out of my breakup, and I even see my ex all the time, and its still there but fading, partly bc I'm just exhausted from the hurt to keep caring! Shortee- why do you have to see your ex all the time? I die when he texts me... even if it's over something stupid.
WTRanger Posted June 24, 2011 Posted June 24, 2011 Why do I want him? Why do I feel compelled to tell him that he is the only one for me? Why can't I get him out of my mind after a million lies? WHY DO I LOVE THE PAIN? Please help me. It's a funny thing, attachment. I can give you a pet monkey, and no, not the funny kind in a tuxedo and top hat. That monkey will screech and screech all night long, keeping you awake. He'll fling poo at you anytime you come into the room. If he can, he'll bite you. He'll make your life with him miserable. Now, a year later, I take that monkey away. Guess what? There's a twisted part of you that'll miss that son of a bitch. You miss him because you are believing that the "good ole days" were really good. When the reality is, they weren't. I've always liked this quote by Marcel Pagnol: "The reason people find it so hard to be happy is that they always see the past better than it was, the present worse than it is, and the future less resolved than it will be.”
shortee143 Posted June 24, 2011 Posted June 24, 2011 I would love to never see him, hear from him etc, but we have mutual friends, and not just like a handful that I see once every few months..but like my entire main crew, that hangs every weekend! It is terrible! I see him "affectionate" with other girls, hear things I dont want to hear, not to mention just the hurt of him dumping me via phone and never giving me a reason, but wanting to be friendly when I see him. It sucks- and I took a bit of distance for about a month, but I miss my friends (they were my friends even longer than they were his grrrr) Life can be so unfair. Lesson learned, dont date a friend. hah
Author AlisaMarie Posted June 24, 2011 Author Posted June 24, 2011 It's a funny thing, attachment. I can give you a pet monkey, and no, not the funny kind in a tuxedo and top hat. That monkey will screech and screech all night long, keeping you awake. He'll fling poo at you anytime you come into the room. If he can, he'll bite you. He'll make your life with him miserable. Now, a year later, I take that monkey away. Guess what? There's a twisted part of you that'll miss that son of a bitch. You miss him because you are believing that the "good ole days" were really good. When the reality is, they weren't. I've always liked this quote by Marcel Pagnol: "The reason people find it so hard to be happy is that they always see the past better than it was, the present worse than it is, and the future less resolved than it will be.” WT... why do you bring such insight to my insanity? I would miss that freaking monkey... come to mention, my ex does resemble a monkey somewhat... and he flung **** at me. Sheesh!
Author AlisaMarie Posted June 24, 2011 Author Posted June 24, 2011 I would love to never see him, hear from him etc, but we have mutual friends, and not just like a handful that I see once every few months..but like my entire main crew, that hangs every weekend! It is terrible! I see him "affectionate" with other girls, hear things I dont want to hear, not to mention just the hurt of him dumping me via phone and never giving me a reason, but wanting to be friendly when I see him. It sucks- and I took a bit of distance for about a month, but I miss my friends (they were my friends even longer than they were his grrrr) Life can be so unfair. Lesson learned, dont date a friend. hah Shortee, You have to change your friends and hangouts if you're really ready to move on. If they were your true friends first, they would respect you and go out to places where he is not.
scarlett27 Posted June 24, 2011 Posted June 24, 2011 WE ALL WANT WHAT WE CAN HAVE , its natural to pine for something that has been lost , specially if we do not have proper closure , you HAVE TO KEEP busy
scarlett27 Posted June 24, 2011 Posted June 24, 2011 WT... why do you bring such insight to my insanity? I would miss that freaking monkey... come to mention, my ex does resemble a monkey somewhat... and he flung **** at me. Sheesh! alisa speaks SOOO Much sense best thing i have read in ages !!x
Author AlisaMarie Posted June 24, 2011 Author Posted June 24, 2011 WE ALL WANT WHAT WE CAN HAVE , its natural to pine for something that has been lost , specially if we do not have proper closure , you HAVE TO KEEP busy uhhg! I know Scarlett, I have been here so many stupid times and I know the process. I do everything I can to keep busy... and LS really pulls me through. I just can't stand it. What are ways you keep your mind free? I've got my hair done today... then sat in front of the mirror and wondered if my ex would like it. HA! I suck at this.
scarlett27 Posted June 24, 2011 Posted June 24, 2011 ALISA , I NEARLY drove my family mad i was put on anxiety tablets because i was having ocd thoughts about my ex , what i do now is i DO NOT ALLOW myself to think bad i get online , i vist sights like this , i sell things on ebay i have just joined a local homless charity i keep busy in any way i can , i read soooo many books self worth by dr phil , its called a breakup coz its over - greg beherant the naughty girls guide to life - tara palmer tomkinson - iread so many single girl books when i have a bad moment i highlight points in thebook - and re read them and have even put quotes on my bedroom wall - i am working on me now , getting back to being fabulous lol and not having to worry and wait around for someone to text me call me , take me out etc , basically i stopped waiting around for someone who did not put enough validation on me ! and enough of his time on me !!! we can get there girls ! trust me !xx
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