ssmtbracer Posted June 23, 2011 Posted June 23, 2011 So here is my situation my wife is in Italy for 2.5 months for an internship. And while there she kissed a guy a couple times a cuddled with him she had been drinking. She tells me she wishes it was me and he was a sub. for what she wanted with me. I caught her because I have her FB login and saw some messages on there she said she was waiting for the right time to tell me which I believe her. She says after all of this she is 100% in love with me. And only wants me and is super excited about me coming to visit her. I am leaving Saturday to visit her. And she really want me to come. Why do I feel the need to know all the details? I even made a list of questions for when I get there should I just forget about those. This is hard for me because I really do Love her 100% HELP
iceweasel6 Posted June 24, 2011 Posted June 24, 2011 Infidelity is a tough one dude. It's obvious there are issues of trust, and I think that should form the pillars up which you will stand once you land in Italy. Here are the facts - that you know to be true. She kissed a guy. You have two options - lets this break your relationship or make it be something that takes it to another level. It's obvious you love her, so keep reading. If not - cancel your ticket and don't see her again. Now, I say to have trust be the pillars upon which you stand because without trust - you will constantly think there is something more and you line of questioning will be only in the direction to unroot more (eg: what else happened? Did you kiss with tongue? Was it long? etc. etc). The idea is to realize that she told you. That is major points. In terms of %, that's 50% of the battle. The other 50% will be related to understanding why? The act means nothing in and of itself - the key is understanding the underlying reasons as to why she broke down and found herself in the arms of another man. Try to focus on that. Her feelings and her emotions and try to see what is the root cause. There isn't much time before you fly over there and you jump into the flame so keep a really cool head, don't accuse and try to find out the underlying reasons of her actions. All the best.
Author ssmtbracer Posted June 24, 2011 Author Posted June 24, 2011 Thank you for the response that makes a lot of sense. One of our things is to always be %100 honest with each other and so far we have. And I will not probe her with questions that are aimed at what happened but rather ones to why. And what I can do to fix it.
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