Red Arremer Posted June 25, 2011 Posted June 25, 2011 I would ask where all these women with high sex drives are near me, but then I realize that even if I had one right in front of me I'd be too shy to make a move on her. Sigh...
Woggle Posted June 25, 2011 Posted June 25, 2011 Not all men are willing to do it with any woman that says yes.
Asystole Posted June 25, 2011 Posted June 25, 2011 (edited) It doesn't mean men are intimidated by her sex drive....it means either she's not very good in the sack, or guys think she's a whore and they don't want a disease. One of the major differences between men and women is men use logic in their decision making....women succumb to their emotions and make decisions at the moment based on how they "feel". Guys think about it, come up with logical reasoning, and make decisions based on information. My favorite is when guys use their emotions and call it logic, because they can't tell the difference. Then they proceed to yell their 'logic' at your face, while you try to explain them all the way from a simple point A to point B. Its exhausting. By the way, I believe most whores don't come with diseases. That's why they are the professionals. Unless you find one that is just bad at her job I suppose. Edit for focus: Some guys love aggressive women, they are also usually the ones you have to make the moves on though. You have to be more aware to find them. They are like little wall flowers sometimes. *holds watering can towards the wallpaper* Edited June 25, 2011 by Asystole
TheLawmaker Posted June 25, 2011 Posted June 25, 2011 How does being a virgin equal to being threatened by them? I've never skydived, but I don't fear it, or fear people who have done it.
stepka Posted June 25, 2011 Posted June 25, 2011 One of the major differences between men and women is men use logic in their decision making....women succumb to their emotions and make decisions at the moment based on how they "feel". Guys think about it, come up with logical reasoning, and make decisions based on information. Spitting milk thru my nose! I've never met a man yet who managed to make a rational decision with his penis.
Ruby Slippers Posted June 25, 2011 Posted June 25, 2011 I had to kick my FWB to the curb tonight. He revealed quite clearly that he has ISSUES. *sigh* Dammit. He had so much potential. Apparently, this is the time in my life when I get no love, and I get no sex.
LadyFlame Posted June 26, 2011 Posted June 26, 2011 How do you "know" that this is what you want and works for you? The "FWB Question" is something I have yet to figure out for myself, and I've tried. I have never had a "successful" FWB. Either it ends up being that I didn't have enough interest in her in the first place, or, I don't know, I'm just not depraved enough. This may be TMI but I also wonder about "dominance": When I have sex, it's typically a mix of what I'd call "****ing" () and what I'd (prefer never to say out loud, but if forced by gunpoint, would technically) call "making love". Ultimately it's because I tend to frame the whole thing as "intimacy" and it's a yearning to get figuratively and literally closer and deeper into someone. But with a FWB, there's barriers to intimacy on purpose, so the sex doesn't do the same thing and it isn't supposed to. So I wonder: what is it supposed to do? Is it about unlocking some kind of sexual instinct, like a will to dominate? Like tying a girl up and holding her by a leash and ****ing her like an animal? But how can you have purposefully anti-intimate sex that is not also dispassionate? All my attempts have come down to masturbating with a warm body that, when it really comes down to it, I have a base level of respect for, but don't really care about. I think it must be because I was trying to force the wrong "kind" of sex in a situation that couldn't support it. Is any of this making sense? Do normal well-adjusted people not have to worry or care about this ****, and they can just do it no prob? I guess it's one of those things where since I've never had a good one, I don't know even how to think about it, like when someone has never had a good relationship, or a good anything for that matter. All I've had are some pretty fun, but unremarkable ONS experiences that never really carried my attention much farther. I want to have sex with you
spiderowl Posted June 26, 2011 Posted June 26, 2011 (edited) I don't think guys are used to women just chasing them for sex. They are supposed to be the hunters (even though some don't like hunting) and they are a bit shocked when a woman turns the tables. Regardless of what guys say about wanting women to take the initiative, they like to feel free and this means freedom to choose the woman themselves. If you 'choose' him and chase him, you have taken this freedom away from him so he will back off and lose interest. Also, being a hunter, if his 'prey' falls down in front of him it immediately triggers warning signs. What self-respecting, healthy animal is going to drop down and give themselves up on the spot? A healthy prey will always try to outrun or outwit the predator or it is simply proving it is sick and therefore a risk to health. Allow guys to be free to be hunters and to choose you. Maybe you could even be a bit elusive. Eventually you will get sex ... if that's really all you want. Edited June 26, 2011 by spiderowl
Stockalone Posted June 26, 2011 Posted June 26, 2011 Also, assuming I'm disease free (which I am) why would you avoid women like me? I don't want to date women who are okay with casual sex. I had to kick my FWB to the curb tonight. He revealed quite clearly that he has ISSUES. Was he too boyfriend-ish again?
Woggle Posted June 26, 2011 Posted June 26, 2011 I love the stereotypes about men in this thread as if all a woman has to do is be willing and able and a man will jump at the chance. Assumptions about either gender don't help anybody.
Ruby Slippers Posted June 26, 2011 Posted June 26, 2011 Was he too boyfriend-ish again? He kind of tried to pick a fight, then started talking in a totally self-pitying way about how "I'm used to people turning their backs on me". I do not want a project, or to be some sad dude's therapist or healer. I just wanted a little healthy fun. But apparently, that was asking too much.
Feelin Frisky Posted June 26, 2011 Posted June 26, 2011 He kind of tried to pick a fight, then started talking in a totally self-pitying way about how "I'm used to people turning their backs on me". I do not want a project, or to be some sad dude's therapist or healer. I just wanted a little healthy fun. But apparently, that was asking too much. It's not. Keep having faith.
Untouchable_Fire Posted June 26, 2011 Posted June 26, 2011 I honestly believe that men feel threatened by women who have healthy sex drives – that it emasculates them or something to that effect. I also think men *think* they're cool having a partner with a high sex drive, but they lie to themselves! What a pile of horsesh**. Some women are simply jack@sses when it comes to their sex drive. Most men are understanding when their woman has a headache... so the same slack needs to be provided the other way and not take it as a personal insult. There are some days when I spend 12 hours trying to move product for my company so nobody in my division has to lose their jobs. It's pure stress. Luckily my GF is a quality woman, and although her sex drive far exceeds what my 31 yo butt can handle... she understands that when I can't do it... it isn't because I don't love her or find her pretty enough.
Untouchable_Fire Posted June 26, 2011 Posted June 26, 2011 How do you "know" that this is what you want and works for you? The "FWB Question" is something I have yet to figure out for myself, and I've tried. I have never had a "successful" FWB. Either it ends up being that I didn't have enough interest in her in the first place, or, I don't know, I'm just not depraved enough. This may be TMI but I also wonder about "dominance": When I have sex, it's typically a mix of what I'd call "****ing" () and what I'd (prefer never to say out loud, but if forced by gunpoint, would technically) call "making love". Ultimately it's because I tend to frame the whole thing as "intimacy" and it's a yearning to get figuratively and literally closer and deeper into someone. But with a FWB, there's barriers to intimacy on purpose, so the sex doesn't do the same thing and it isn't supposed to. So I wonder: what is it supposed to do? Is it about unlocking some kind of sexual instinct, like a will to dominate? Like tying a girl up and holding her by a leash and ****ing her like an animal? But how can you have purposefully anti-intimate sex that is not also dispassionate? All my attempts have come down to masturbating with a warm body that, when it really comes down to it, I have a base level of respect for, but don't really care about. I think it must be because I was trying to force the wrong "kind" of sex in a situation that couldn't support it. Is any of this making sense? Do normal well-adjusted people not have to worry or care about this ****, and they can just do it no prob? I guess it's one of those things where since I've never had a good one, I don't know even how to think about it, like when someone has never had a good relationship, or a good anything for that matter. All I've had are some pretty fun, but unremarkable ONS experiences that never really carried my attention much farther. Your observations and musings are exact and insightful. It makes a ton of sense and very few people understand this. There is a huge social movement towards FWB relationships... and I find that very sad. These people tell themselves that they are just horny and will evidently perish if they go a month without sex. However from what I see... most of them are just so emotionally damaged people they struggle to feel intimacy. It's remarkably sad there are so many today. Bravo for explaining this in a way some of the Troll-ettes on this site can understand!
proactivedreamer Posted June 26, 2011 Posted June 26, 2011 There is a huge social movement towards FWB relationships... and I find that very sad. These people tell themselves that they are just horny and will evidently perish if they go a month without sex. However from what I see... most of them are just so emotionally damaged people they struggle to feel intimacy. It's remarkably sad there are so many today. . I don't think it's necessarily a movement, but, perhaps, people are starting to see relationships as too emotionally risky,and as a result, they would rather engage with another only on sexual terms. Speaking personally, I am 5 months out of a heavy relationship-haven't fully recovered, and I am not ready to be emotionally involved with someone else,but I still want some contact with a man. I do not think it is wrong or right to engage in these kinds of arrangements, but I am doing the best thing for me by not getting emotionally involved. As I said previously in this thread, feelings get messy, and some times relationships leave my life in disarray. At this point, I rather keep my head and protect my heart cause I am just not ready for the amount of precious energy I'd have to expend in a relationship. I, simply, just don't have the heart for it right now.
Ruby Slippers Posted June 27, 2011 Posted June 27, 2011 It's not. Keep having faith. I'm trying! Thanks.
Sweetheartt Posted June 27, 2011 Posted June 27, 2011 My problem is getting the right guy to approach me. Getting guys to do it with me is the easiest lol all I gotta do is show cleavage yada yada but I aint that kinda girl.
Feelin Frisky Posted June 27, 2011 Posted June 27, 2011 I'm trying! Thanks. Maybe you should go for the older type. They are sure to be less neurotic about keeping things "compartmentalized".
Ruby Slippers Posted June 27, 2011 Posted June 27, 2011 Maybe you should go for the older type. They are sure to be less neurotic about keeping things "compartmentalized". Do you know anyone?
Feelin Frisky Posted June 27, 2011 Posted June 27, 2011 Do you know anyone? Yes, but he lives too far away. You'd be some ideal recreation for him, I'm sure. Stay thirsty, my friend.
Ruby Slippers Posted June 27, 2011 Posted June 27, 2011 Yes, but he lives too far away. You'd be some ideal recreation for him, I'm sure. Stay thirsty, my friend. You tease.
Untouchable_Fire Posted June 27, 2011 Posted June 27, 2011 (edited) . I don't think it's necessarily a movement, but, perhaps, people are starting to see relationships as too emotionally risky,and as a result, they would rather engage with another only on sexual terms. Speaking personally, I am 5 months out of a heavy relationship-haven't fully recovered, and I am not ready to be emotionally involved with someone else,but I still want some contact with a man. I do not think it is wrong or right to engage in these kinds of arrangements, but I am doing the best thing for me by not getting emotionally involved. As I said previously in this thread, feelings get messy, and some times relationships leave my life in disarray. At this point, I rather keep my head and protect my heart cause I am just not ready for the amount of precious energy I'd have to expend in a relationship. I, simply, just don't have the heart for it right now. I totally understand the reason for fu** buddies. I've seen enough of those relationships to realize that emotions NEVER get put on the side. You are literally too emotionally damaged to be dating, and just humping some guy won't do anything but drag the healing process out. I simply suggest you buy a dildo rather than use a guy as one. Edited June 27, 2011 by Untouchable_Fire
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