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Just txt my ex to return my things by next week at the latest

JasonRules

By JasonRules
in Breaks and Breaking Up

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JasonRules Established Member

JasonRules

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Just text my ex asking for my things back and money she owes me by the end of next week at the latest.

 

She replied with a terse "ok". So I want to get this over with so I can move onto better things in my life.

HeartOfAPhoenix Established Member

HeartOfAPhoenix

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good be straight forward with everything.

 

 

when my ex dumped me I told her to either keep my s**t or just throw it out lol.

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JasonRules Established Member

JasonRules

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It's ironic how everything has come full circle. The CDs I gave her when I dropped her off at her car on our first date. We were listening to them and she liked the music and asked me if she could borrow them.

 

Life is full of ironies...

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geegirl Established Member

geegirl

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What will you do if she does not follow through?

EgoJoe Established Member

EgoJoe

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Jason promised me 20% to go take his stuff back for him + take enough of her stuff to get his moneys worth from a pawn shop. Which means she loses extra due to price deflation.

 

Of course, I'm kidding.

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JasonRules Established Member

JasonRules

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What will you do if she does not follow through?

 

 

She will follow through. I sent her a text this morning saying:

 

Me: There is no need for the attitude. I've left you alone exactly as you wished. Let's just get this over with so we can finalize things. I would have preferred to have done this back in March, but in any case the sooner the better. After you won't hear from me again.

 

Her: Don't patronize me, money is not an issue. We just didn't talk

 

Me: Didn't talk about what?

 

Her: Just didn't have contact

 

Me: It needed to be this way

 

Her: I agree

 

Me: (In an attempt to calm her down) Anyway, I saw this yesterday (a flower) and took a photo of it. It's not the real thing, but maybe it will put a little smile on your face. Have a good day

 

Her: Thank you. Very nice...

 

 

And that was that...

just_scott Established Member

just_scott

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MAN i actually have to contact my ex like tuesday of next week because i have moved and have some things of hers here with me .I'VE asked her to come pick up what she wants before i moved [ i didn't want her to even know where i'm moving to ]and she couldn't make the time to do it and politly asked if i could just bring them with me and she'll pick them up ,so i was being polite back and said no problem ,NOW we've been in full N.C. for a month i am dreading the call i have to make BUT i have to do it .

i'm just gonna say hey i still have your stuff all safe and sound give me a date when you can pick them up so i'll know ,i'm not gonna be running a storage facility here ...

just_scott Established Member

just_scott

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OH and hey if she can't give me a date / time to get this stuff

well i'm thinking of driving by her place one night and just tossing them onto her front lawn [ hey she walked out on me after 4 yrs]

fetish Established Member

fetish

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jason, how far away does your ex live from you? Didn't you say in another one of your threads that it was more than 25 miles?

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JasonRules Established Member

JasonRules

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Yes she lives about 25 miles away. I don't know what she is thinking in terms of how she will give me the things. I'm going to wait to see if she wants to meet or send me the things with someone else.

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JasonRules Established Member

JasonRules

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One thing is certain. Her tone is quite cold, terse, and impersonal. In none of her texts has she ever mentioned my name. Not sure why she is going out of her way to be this impersonal and not just be normal.

betterdeal Established Member

betterdeal

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Just text my ex asking for my things back and money she owes me by the end of next week at the latest.

 

She replied with a terse "ok". So I want to get this over with so I can move onto better things in my life.

 

How did you know it was terse? Is there a special font denoting terse?

betterdeal Established Member

betterdeal

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She will follow through. I sent her a text this morning saying:

 

Me: There is no need for the attitude. I've left you alone exactly as you wished. Let's just get this over with so we can finalize things. I would have preferred to have done this back in March, but in any case the sooner the better. After you won't hear from me again.

 

Her: Don't patronize me, money is not an issue. We just didn't talk

 

Me: Didn't talk about what?

 

Her: Just didn't have contact

 

Me: It needed to be this way

 

Her: I agree

 

Me: (In an attempt to calm her down) Anyway, I saw this yesterday (a flower) and took a photo of it. It's not the real thing, but maybe it will put a little smile on your face. Have a good day

 

Her: Thank you. Very nice...

 

 

And that was that...

 

Why did you feel she needed calming down? I can't see anything in that dialogue to show any form of anger or other upset that needed calming.

betterdeal Established Member

betterdeal

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One thing is certain. Her tone is quite cold, terse, and impersonal. In none of her texts has she ever mentioned my name. Not sure why she is going out of her way to be this impersonal and not just be normal.

 

Jason, you're the one starting these conversations by text, which in itself is about as impersonal a way of communicating as it gets. You're saying her "tone" is cold, but it is a text message - it has no tone. A voice has tone.

 

You're projecting and presenting your perception as fact. It's over. She is not your girlfriend. Get your business finished and stop banging your head against that brick wall. I feel a mixture of pity, sympathy and distaste for the way you're dragging this out. It's not doing you or her any good. It's dead. Bury it.

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JasonRules Established Member

JasonRules

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I am texting her because she has not made any effort to get this over with. I had text her 2 months ago asking her to finalize things by the end of June. Had I not text her this week she would have still dragged this out.

 

And you're right; SMS is impersonal, but if you txt someone with "hi, how are you doing? Was wondering if you can give me my stuff back and the money by next week because I'd like to get this out of the way" and they reply "umm OK...." I don't need special characters to get a sense of her state.

 

I know she is not my girlfriend. Its been months and even though I'm still not over it 100% I have done well in NC.

betterdeal Established Member

betterdeal

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Seriously, dude, you're reading too much into her texts. She's not friendly because you guys have fallen out. So what?

 

You're the one dragging this out and you're using the property you haven't recovered as a pretence for more contact. If you really wanted it, you would have got it or issued a claim in the small claims court to get it by now.

 

She's just a woman, not some 40ft monster. Call, ask to arrange a time to collect your money and stuff, and go and pick up your stuff, or write it off, for fuxache.

 

I understand how crap it can be, but get it over and done with. Then you can finally lose contact with her and stop hurting yourself like this.

geegirl Established Member

geegirl

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I have a feeling she is not going to comply and probably ignore again. Instead of these vague text messages, either finalize a dropping point for collection of things (you or a friend can pick up), ask her to mail a check for your money or let this one go. If she really cared to give you back the stuff, she would have done it the first time and if not then, would have been communicative in planning how/when she would get it to you this go around. You are keeping yourself stuck over "stuff".

ganbare Member

ganbare

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What does she have of yours that is so valuable?

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JasonRules Established Member

JasonRules

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What does she have of yours that is so valuable?

 

 

A scarf which was a x-mas gift from my parents when I went back to visit them, some CDs, and she owes me $660 dollars since last September.

 

When we ended things in March, I think she should have just given me everything and the money and gotten over with it (since money was never an issue as she says, but she didn't), then we would not have been in this predicament. She never contacted me regarding paying me back etc. 2 months ago I sent her a text asking her to pay me back and return my things.

 

I didn't know her financial situation so I figured I tell her by the end of June to give her some time. I never heard from her, so I contacted her again this week to remind her that she has until next week.

 

I have not been texting her or calling her at all. It's been almost 4 months and we had contact 2 months ago, where I asked for my stuff and money back, and now when time is almost up. She has never proactively made any arrangements to give me anything.

 

So yes, in this regard I have been pushing, but it is only because she has done nothing about it. I am not trying to use my items to drag this out. I would have preferred if she had given me everything back in March because then I would not have to be dealing with this at all. Even the fact that we're communicating a little feels like its setting me back as it causes me to remember the bad things.

Kilty Established Member

Kilty

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I think Betterdeal has got it spot on Jason and im surprised at you.

 

You are normally the voice of reason and Betterdeals post above could have been written by you in someone elses thread that was in the same predicament.

 

I think you should just write it off and put it down to experience.

 

Im sure you dont need the money

 

The scarf is a bit different as it was from your parents but its only a scarf i guess.

 

You have to balance out whats best for you against the upset it is causing you.

 

She sounds like a right cow for dragging this out

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JasonRules Established Member

JasonRules

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I think Betterdeal has got it spot on Jason and im surprised at you.

 

You are normally the voice of reason and Betterdeals post above could have been written by you in someone elses thread that was in the same predicament.

 

I think you should just write it off and put it down to experience.

 

Im sure you dont need the money

 

The scarf is a bit different as it was from your parents but its only a scarf i guess.

 

You have to balance out whats best for you against the upset it is causing you.

 

She sounds like a right cow for dragging this out

 

 

Kilty,

 

 

I could just walk away, but what lesson would she be learning? That she can borrow money from a guy, string him along for months, dump him for dubious to ridiculous reasons and then call it a day.

 

I don't "need" the money. This is not about the money. It's about respecting me. It's about taking care of your obligations. I'm not asking for a handout. I'm simply asking for my items back.

 

How and when she does it, is up to her. FedEx, courier pigeon, or UFO delivery is acceptable. I never asked to see her, talk to her, or meet up with her.

 

And yes, she is wrong for doing what she is doing. She has to understand for once that she cannot be selfish 24/7. She should think that perhaps I'm still hurting and I want to get this behind me so I don't need to have any contact with her whatsoever. So it would be best to just send me everything and get it over with, but no. "We had no contact" that's why I haven't sent you your things back. We have common friends too. It's not like mail is her only option. There simply is no excuse for not returning my things 4 months after we ended it.

 

In my previous relationship everything was done within 40 days. Clothes, items, etc all were exchanged. There was no attitude, excuses, or indifference. Everything was smooth, polite, cordial, and normal.

 

The difference was that my ex ex was a 32 year old mature woman. Whereas it seems, I'm dealing with a 27-28 year old little girl now.

betterdeal Established Member

betterdeal

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If it's not about the money, it's a means to stay in contact. You're upset, else you wouldn't have created this thread. Every man is a mystery to no-one but himself, and this is no exception.

 

It's easier for me, kitty et al to see it the way we see it because we're not emotionally invested in it. You are. At the most basic level, you keep making contact with your ex every couple of months, and you keep getting upset by it.

 

The money sounds like a significant amount to me. You seem to care about this scarf too. Make it about them and make it about getting rid of the final excuses your subconscious can use to stay in touch with her.

 

Then, recover. Spend time working with your subconscious to make it feel good. To get over this. To become like you were before all this crap happened.

usabup Established Member

usabup

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From what you have written, I don't think her text's came ascross as though she needed "calming down"....if anything she just seemed completely indifferent and like she just wasn't really interested in having a conversation.

 

I agree with you though from the point of view that she owes you $600....I would want that back too! But once she gives it to you, I'd just leave her alone because she is clearly over it and I don't think its your place to be making sure she learns a lesson! I think you just need to focus on yourself.

Lucy2011 Member

Lucy2011

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I can undertand you wanting your things back, particularly the money. Its the principle more than anything, why should she get to keep it?

 

Once you've got this back though, cut contact. You sound way too good for her x

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JasonRules Established Member

JasonRules

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I can undertand you wanting your things back, particularly the money. Its the principle more than anything, why should she get to keep it?

 

Once you've got this back though, cut contact. You sound way too good for her x

 

 

Aside from getting my items back, I have never ever contacted her. And yes, I am WAY too good for her.

 

One of the last things I said to her what the following:

 

Me: "You will never find anyone as good as me"

Her: "How do you know? How can you be so sure?"

Me: "Because I know myself..."

 

Time will prove me right, but by then it will be too late for her

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