mikeymad Posted June 23, 2011 Posted June 23, 2011 Many of you weren't around in dec 2009 when I first posted here. So fast forward 1 year past divorce (may 2011). Find out she just got engaged to the guy she started to get to know when we were together, cheated on me with (to what degree I don't know), supposedly wrote a letter saying they could never speak, and went back to him. I know she supposedly thinks she's found the "perfect" life. Low stress, he has money (I started a business as we started our marriage, so money was tight), and has fed into her ego since they day they met. I feel a lot of things right now. Anger, jealousy, resentment, longing just to name a few. Why that guy, wasn't I good enough? I know it wasn't easy, but why give up and move on so quickly? I found our old wedding pictures this past weekend as I was moving, and my wedding ring as well. I'm having a hard time not acting emotionally, and sending her a letter, or just a blank envelope with my old ring in it. A reminder of her past and what she did. I know it's petty, but she felt the need to contact my current gf to "warn her" about me, just about the same time she was engaged. Not cool. But i tried to be the better person and let it go, but I can't. Part of me still loves her and wonders what if. I know being vindictive has karmic consequences, but I think part of me doesn't want her to be happy, or at least with someone else. Part of me knew it might come, and I feel emotionally blunted to the fact, with the few leaks in the dam. I wonder what's wrong with me as I have serious commitment issues, and am very cynical about "love" or promises, which is sad because my current gf has told me she loves me, but i'm not sure what love is anymore... just needed to vent. any input is appreciated. thank you.
coolheadal Posted June 23, 2011 Posted June 23, 2011 Thanks for sharing that. I know one day I'll be in your shoes. I am in the process and it not what I could ever wanted to deal with right now. The wife and your wife could be like sisters if what you said is how it is. But still these type of women are very dangerous to be around and now like some sort of mind game. Send everything to her and let her have it. I want the wife to feel what I am going through now.. Take care
2.50 a gallon Posted June 24, 2011 Posted June 24, 2011 I know you are tired of hearing this, but here it goes, "It takes time to heal" You are only a year from your divorce. For a few that is enough time, but for the majority of us the roots of love have grown deep and it takes longer to cut through them My story was different in that my Ex wanted to reconcile, all I had to do was say yes, and we would have been a couple again. But she had cheated on me, something that I knew I could never forget, and I knew that I would never totally trust her again. For the next 3 to 4 years, long after I had reached a point in my life where I no longer thought about her, I was dating and was at a point in life that where I thought not that life was good, but life was fantastic, and then I'd get a B-day, Valentines, or "Thinking of You" card and be right back to square one I know you have heard it before, but keep moving on in life, think about it can you ever really trust her again? She is not worth it. Don't let her win. I know she tried to mess with your new relationship, so it would seem the way to get her back would be to be ecstatic with your new lady. Enjoy the new relationship, do something special this weekend
imagine Posted June 24, 2011 Posted June 24, 2011 What happened sounds wierd. She broke off your marriage and used the confusion to justify her association with OM. She hurt you twice. Then she is frustrated that you have a girlfriend so she hurts you through the girlfriend. Unless her new hubby can continue to supply her wants, he is in deep doo doo. Wish them well. Make sure that your new girlfriend is not like your ex. This is my take -maybe I'm wrong!
trippi1432 Posted June 24, 2011 Posted June 24, 2011 Ah..MikeyMad...know how you feel there friend, my exH is getting married next month to the woman he has been living with since we split up....but swears they did not have an affair. The date he has picked is symbolic to him, it is the date that he ran into her while we were split up the first time. We split up July 9th, 2009...he came back July 25th, 2009 and left again August 31st, 2009. We attempted a short recon in September that year and then he moved in with her two weeks after telling me it wouldn't work out. Of course she had to move her husband out first. So, while there may not have been a physical affair, there definitely was an emotional one that I didn't know about that was an influence on where things went wrong. Hard to reconcile anything when a third party is in the picture and they are hiding it. So now what.....karma or not, they are both each other's problems now and your exW needs to stop being a problem in your life. Can totally understand your feelings on the cynicism and commitment issues, it leaves you totally deflated on relationships of your own. But I am glad that you are realizing now that the issue is not that your GF loves you, but within yourself and what you have been through. Keep working on yourself to get you past that point and be grateful for who is in your life and loves you. Your exW has her own issues and is not your problem anymore...let her new guy figure that one out for himself.
Recommended Posts