soz Posted June 23, 2011 Posted June 23, 2011 Hello guys, having sleepless night over this. And I'm hoping y'all could help. Please! I'll try and keep it brief. - A friend of mine was with a girl, making out with her , - they've only met, a total of about 4-5 times, only to make out - My friend pushed her in my direction/passed her to me (seemed he wasn't interested anymore, she too felt the same way as I later learned) - She and I made out - we became sooo close - became good friends - she told me she was just having sex with him cos she wanted some experience, didn't like him at all. I've seen the proof of that. - was good to her. Made sure she had fun while gaining experience. - we started going out (maybe this was my first mistake, don't know) - before we started going out, I felt it would be a mistake if I did go out with her. Since we met through my friend who has been making out with her. - at the same time I thought, I really like this girl sooo much. She takes care of me, we get along sooo well on pretty much all levels. She was the perfect girl. If I don't grab her now, I would be making a huge mistake. Only thing and I mean only thing, is that she has been with this friend of mine. - now things are starting to get really serious. plan on moving in together. - and suddenly, I start to think strongly about the past for some strange reason. - thinking if we do get married, and this friend of mine and I get into an argument. he could always use "jabs" like "been there with your wife" etc. - now, I'm seriously thinking if I made a big mistake or I'm just been childish. - several opportunities has showed up. Opportunities to end it in a peaceful, no angry way. - but didn't. The thought of loosing a girl I like. That I think is perfect. That I might not meet a similar type again, raced through my mind. but on the flip side, of late I get really annoyed of the past for some unknown reason. Maybe because it's not getting really serious. Please advise, what should I do? What is the correct way of seeing this? Thanks in advance. Appreciate all replies. Thanks
spacegirlspiff Posted July 3, 2011 Posted July 3, 2011 - thinking if we do get married, and this friend of mine and I get into an argument. he could always use "jabs" like "been there with your wife" etc. You're being childish if you think that way. You can't erase her past.
Forever Learning Posted July 3, 2011 Posted July 3, 2011 (edited) Jealousy exists as a basic part of human nature. You can see it in the animal kingdom too, it is inherent in most life forms (I don't know about amoebas and green algae though lol). If you like this girl enough and see her as long term material, you will have to decide if you want to eliminate this problem entirely by picking her over your friend, and discontinuing the friendship with the guy. I do know people who have kept such a friendship, but they were not 'best friends' per se and not in daily contact on a regular basis with the guy friend (hence much less jealous feelings, only casual friends at best). They were also very mature (everyone involved) and their friend already had another girlfriend or wife. You said you worry this friend could make jabs at you in the future. THAT IS NOT A FRIEND! Friends don't make jabs like that. If he did you wouldnt need him in your life, period. That would show his true colors as being immature and mean spirited. Here's something to think about. You know the big English Royal wedding that was all over the tv recently, between Prince William and his bride, Catherine? They both invited friends they had previously dated (and slept with). That is because they wanted to keep those friendships, and felt secure enough in their own relationships, to be able to do that. All the best to you. Edited July 3, 2011 by Forever Learning
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