irc333 Posted June 23, 2011 Posted June 23, 2011 PSAs or "Public Service Announcements" a style or fomat I'm starting to notice on dating profiles. More and more frequently I keep seeing. "If I don't respond, chances are I wasn't interested or not attracted." I dunno, something about that just rubs me the wrong way. Seems presumptuous in a sense. So, instead of typing a note stating, "Sorry I'm not interested" to each individual that emails her, she'll just make less work of it, and put it all in her profile. I dunno, just something off-putting. (And no, these women I haven't emailed either, just something I'm starting to see) Oh and ending it with, "Good luck in your search" as if it we were a sweepstakes entrant. lol Another common one I keep seeing, "I don't mean to sound shallow, but....physical attraction is important!" As a man, does this deter you, or do you email them anyway?
GivenUp0083 Posted June 23, 2011 Posted June 23, 2011 No, I don't email those women, I don't email any women online, because it's a garbage process. It favors the women much more than men, I won't ever go back to it. I can tell you realize how stupid and messed up these women online dating are, why do you continue to do it? It's obviously causing you stress and frustration...
Author irc333 Posted June 23, 2011 Author Posted June 23, 2011 Come on, you know I'm not happy unless I'm miserable LOL (just kidding), but in good news....I've maintained some contacts with women I've been meeting out in real life. Go figure eh. On the side....I'm starting to bump into some of these women in real life that I've seen on dating sites as well (think there's a thread on this somewhere). No, I don't email those women, I don't email any women online, because it's a garbage process. It favors the women much more than men, I won't ever go back to it. I can tell you realize how stupid and messed up these women online dating are, why do you continue to do it? It's obviously causing you stress and frustration...
oaks Posted June 23, 2011 Posted June 23, 2011 "If I don't respond, chances are I wasn't interested or not attracted." I think it's because first she tried politely responding with "thanks but no thanks" and got nasty replies from rude boys who can't take "no" for an answer, and next she tried sending no reply at all if she wasn't interested but still got nasty messages from rude boys who were wondering why she hadn't replied so finally she adds a message like that. Or, she saw that message on another girl's profile and thought it would be good to copy it to avoid the situation I've just described. This is one of the reasons why online dating sucks (although I'm generally in favour of it).
GivenUp0083 Posted June 23, 2011 Posted June 23, 2011 I think it's because first she tried politely responding with "thanks but no thanks" and got nasty replies from rude boys who can't take "no" for an answer, and next she tried sending no reply at all if she wasn't interested but still got nasty messages from rude boys who were wondering why she hadn't replied so finally she adds a message like that. Or, she saw that message on another girl's profile and thought it would be good to copy it to avoid the situation I've just described. This is one of the reasons why online dating sucks (although I'm generally in favour of it). Exactly. I just feel like these women are "ruined" that have turned to online dating. I think of it like the job market in the US right now. Yeah, you can apply to jobs online through a website like career builder or linkedin, but those companies are getting hundreds of applicants a week. Probably 50% of them are qualified and would probably be just fine for the job. 15% of those are probably over-qualified, so now the employer realizes that they can have the pick of the litter. They're going to negotiate this further on their behalf and even if you somehow win the job, you will be considered EASILY EXPENDABLE. You'll have to bust your ass and work long hours to keep the job while probably not getting the compensation you'd hope to get. Is that really the position you want to be in from a dating perspective? Having to give more than you will receive? Trying to build a relationship with someone who sees you as someone they can easily replace?
GivenUp0083 Posted June 23, 2011 Posted June 23, 2011 I think it's because first she tried politely responding with "thanks but no thanks" and got nasty replies from rude boys who can't take "no" for an answer, and next she tried sending no reply at all if she wasn't interested but still got nasty messages from rude boys who were wondering why she hadn't replied so finally she adds a message like that. Or, she saw that message on another girl's profile and thought it would be good to copy it to avoid the situation I've just described. This is one of the reasons why online dating sucks (although I'm generally in favour of it). Exactly. I just feel like these women are "ruined" that have turned to online dating. I think of it like the job market in the US right now. Yeah, you can apply to jobs online through a website like career builder or linkedin, but those companies are getting hundreds of applicants a week. Probably 50% of them are qualified and would probably be just fine for the job. 15% of those are probably over-qualified, so now the employer realizes that they can have the pick of the litter. They're going to negotiate this further on their behalf and even if you somehow win the job, you will be considered EASILY EXPENDABLE. You'll have to bust your ass and work long hours to keep the job while probably not getting the compensation you'd hope to get. Is that really the position you want to be in from a dating perspective? Having to give more than you will receive? Trying to build a relationship with someone who sees you as someone they can easily replace? One also can't help but wonder why this woman has turned to the internet to fill this position....why doesn't she have any acceptable candidates applying through friends or social circles? Maybe those who know more about the job (or the girl) are passing on the opportunity...
rafallus Posted June 23, 2011 Posted June 23, 2011 I think it's because first she tried politely responding with "thanks but no thanks" and got nasty replies from rude boys who can't take "no" for an answer, and next she tried sending no reply at all if she wasn't interested but still got nasty messages from rude boys who were wondering why she hadn't replied so finally she adds a message like that. I agree, they are little boys with their egos bruised. They were so nice before the rejection. Their true face showed up after one. Another common one I keep seeing, "I don't mean to sound shallow, but....physical attraction is important!" Duh. How do you imagine relationship where other party doesn't turn you on at all? It is so obvious, that it really makes people explicitly stating that looking kinda, ummm, oblivious.
oaks Posted June 23, 2011 Posted June 23, 2011 GivenUp, I'm in danger of agreeing with you. Is that really the position you want to be in from a dating perspective? Having to give more than you will receive? Trying to build a relationship with someone who sees you as someone they can easily replace? No, that would suck, and I think I went on a date or two with some people like that. Thankfully there are some other women on some online dating sites who don't have that attitude. One also can't help but wonder why this woman has turned to the internet to fill this position....why doesn't she have any acceptable candidates applying through friends or social circles? Maybe those who know more about the job (or the girl) are passing on the opportunity... Yes, but for some of these women, maybe they do have other options, and meeting guys from the Internet is just one way she gets dates rather than the only way. Some (not all) of them even say so in their profiles... things like "I'm not here because I have to be here" (and I don't find that very attractive either, but again it's not everyone).
Author irc333 Posted June 23, 2011 Author Posted June 23, 2011 "I'm not here because I have to be here" Agreed, callous disclaimers like, "I'm single by choice, but if I find that I like you, I will reply." Sounds like you're listening to a strict substitute teacher or female warden of a prison.
LadyFlame Posted June 23, 2011 Posted June 23, 2011 Dating sites such as POF are extremely funny because the majority of people are looking for sex. For guys, it's a bit like sales too. You throw out about a hundred emails a day with the same standard message, in the hope of getting 5 successful replies I met one guy off a dating site once. It was a wild night. The truth is, the most attractive people are usually only on there for one thing, while the more hideously-featured ones are looking for something more.
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