Is it normal to realize things about your ex the longer you are split up?

[Forget About Her]

I feel it's normal when you are head over heals in love to "look past" things that you maybe should pay a little more attention to. You make excuses for certain behavior, or things you notice that may present a large problem later on (like not communicating at all).

 

Now that we've been split for a while, I'm starting to see how unbelievably wrong we were for each other. Not her fault or mine, just very different people that got together when we were young (19/23) and stayed together because of love.

 

She's a f'ing psychopath. She never communicated sh*t, I don't think she admitted fault for anything ever, and we literally never worked thru any issues as a couple...in almost 6 years of being together. WTF was I thinking?

[PegNosePete]

Yep absolutely normal. Knock her off that pedestal!

[Forget About Her]

I unintentionally did just that, lol.

 

I started a business a few months ago that she feels is very disrespectful to her. Well, we continued to try and work things out, date/sex/talk every day, etc. I thought we were about to get back together (we were together for almost 6 years). Our 6-year anniversary and her 25th birthday comes around, and she ****ing ignores me the entire weekend!

 

Her roommate tells me "trust me, it's over, you should move on". So I'm like damn, okay. We don't speak for almost 3 weeks. I get on TV because of my business, and she starts texting me telling me she regrets me, she wishes she could forget me, hopes I'm happy with the new girl that "i must be ****ing", etc etc etc.

 

****.

[shortee143]

"I feel it's normal when you are head over heals in love to "look past" things that you maybe should pay a little more attention to. You make excuses for certain behavior, or things you notice that may present a large problem later on (like not communicating at all)."

 

 

YES!! haha damn love- blinds us, but hey, at the time, we love them for there flaws and all. Sometimes I wish love was a bit more rational, but maybe then it wouldnt be as fun, who knows, but in case, what your getting at, is SO true!

[Finch]

It seems normal to me. I think it's part of the process of moving on. Once you accept that a relationship is over and that the situation is not going to change you naturally start to re-think things and you develop new associations towards the person you were previously in love with. You slowly go from love, connection, and "why didn't it work!?!' to realizing there were problems and being okay with that.

Eventually even that fades until you don't really think about the person or the relationship much at all anymore. If it's three years later and you're still thinking about the other person enough to notice more and more problems then that's another issue.

[Sugarkane]

Yeah it makes me realise that love is blind and sometimes also deaf, dumb and stupid.

[Starleena]

Oh yeah. In the moment of the heat/love, all I could think about was cuddling him. I managed to block all the bad behavior out and I gave him excuses, hoping he would change.

 

Now I don't even remember the good times. All I remember is every wrong thing he did to me. I see his true colors. Being out of the relationship with a clear mind, I got the answers I didn't know when I was with him.