Drop Dead Fred Posted April 19, 2004 Posted April 19, 2004 I was talking to a girl I'm dating (actually only two dates so far, but we talk all the time) and she brought up her intentions for the future; she wants to buy a house. She mentioned that her current situation is kind of weird and she wants to move out, because she's living with a friend who she says has feelings for her, but she didn't even know that when he invited her to move in, and she said he started talking about getting married to her all the time and so on. She said she talked to him about it and told him it was never going to happen, but part of me wonders how someone would get that kind of impression in the first place. She's a very liberal person, and I don't think it would be past her to have a "friend with benefits" situation going on; and that's the problem. I'm very morally conservative; I don't want to be intimate with *ANY* woman unless I know I'm almost certainly going to spend the rest of my life with her, but that's me. I understand that 90% of this country doesn't feel that way anymore and people rampantly have sex with god-knows-who all the time, and I've given up trying to find someone with the same mindset as I because they pretty much don't exist except for religous whacknuts, and I'm just not into that kind of thing. I really want to know more about the situation, because something doesn't feel right to me... but at the same time I don't think it's right to ask; after all, I would be insulted if someone asked me the same. I don't know what do to. I want to respect her privacy, but at the same time I don't think I want to be involved with someone who sleeps around with people casually. One other thing; she said that her last boyfriend, whom she "dated for six years", wants her to move in with him, just as friends. She made sure to emphasize the fact that she has absolutely no feelings for him anymore and that they are just friends, but it makes me wonder. I myself have never been in a relationship before, but I find myself having a very hard time believing that you can date someone for 6 years and have no feelings for him. She said she wasn't going to move in with him anyways, but I still wonder. Are these "red flags"?
Becks84 Posted April 20, 2004 Posted April 20, 2004 Geez, doesn't she have any girlfriends she can live with? I just can't relate to her with this because I would never consider living with a male, unless he was my fiance or husband. Just goes to show how different we all are. Maybe she does have good intentions though. You dont know her well enough to make any judgements yet. I wouldnt say these are "red flags", but just be cautious, really try and get to know her...as you should do at the beginning of any relationship. Time will tell you what you need to know. Best of luck!
Drop Dead Fred Posted April 21, 2004 Posted April 21, 2004 Well she's a "tomboy" basically. All her life she's been into sports and stuff, and never into any feminine-type stuff like salons and so-on, so she really relates best to guys. I guess I've decided to let her tell me if she thinks it's important. Respecting others privacy outweighs silly moral complications in my book.
Becks84 Posted April 23, 2004 Posted April 23, 2004 Sounds like you've got it all figured out best wishes
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