HLP234 Posted June 23, 2011 Posted June 23, 2011 (edited) Most of this comes from my topic here: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t282959/ My fiance asked if we should take a break because my family moved to my area and came with nothing and are depending on me to help them out. She feels like the relationship isn't like it was before they got here. We hung out all the time, every weekend she was with me. Now Its only been a week since my family got here and maybe like 2-3 days since I last saw her. She says shes always wanted a relationship like we had before my parents got here. It was perfect in her view. She got me all the time and was happiest as could be. Now she thinks she wont see me any more. She asks to hang out and I want to see her and be with her, but my family needs me to do stuff for them and when I tell her I need to do this, this and that for them she gets frusterated and just tells me not to show up because by the time I get there and stuff and then I'll have to leave soon its not worth it. I love her, I want my future with her and so does she, but she's not believing things will change once I settle my family in. I mean once they get an apartment and a car, they won't need me all the time. It will go back to the way it was. If she leaves me then I'll have no place to go since we are suppose to move in soon. I haven't picked a place because I have been waiting for her to fill out stuff since I did my part with the paperwork. But since this incident I don't know what to do anymore. She says she doesn't want to leave me but she feels like its like her last relationship where it was long distance. I have always been there for her and she has for me too. When I said that I would never leave someone in times like these she got angry and said to stop throwing stuff in her face about how I was always there for her. She just doesnt like the current situation. I figure if she wants a break we mind as well be done because I will be super hurt. She will too I don't know what she is planning to do once we go on a break, she could be just looking into other people. But my understanding is she will never get what I gave her, never be able to get 100% time with someone all the time like she did with me. So I think breaks never work. Has anyone actually been through one that succeeded and what is the advice? Edited June 23, 2011 by HLP234
PegNosePete Posted June 23, 2011 Posted June 23, 2011 I agree. I've never heard anyone describe a situation where a "break" is necessary or a good solution. If you need to take a break then there is obviously something wrong in the relationship so what you need is to communicate and fix it, not take a "break" or "trial separation". It's just a slow drawn out break up.
Author HLP234 Posted June 23, 2011 Author Posted June 23, 2011 We've been communicating a lot. Which is good while we are still together. But the only solution to this I see is compromise. Which she doesn't seem to understand. She goes sick if she doesn't see me, she wants me all the time. So to agree on yeh I'll just be there for you and you help your family and come be with me when you can, is something she is not willing to do. I understand she doesn't wanna feel like second. Also she's stated she doesn't want to compete with my family for my attention. I told her we should not take a break because I don't think they work and she was fine with that decision but I still think she will try to push that. I am trying to at least get mad at this so I can go through it if we do just break up. But all I have is emotional feelings of hurt. I have to stop caring at some point and just actually end this myself if she's not wanting to stick with me through this.
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