smoothskillet Posted June 22, 2011 Posted June 22, 2011 Let me start off by saying that I am not asking for anyones opinion on whether I should stay with my girlfriend or not. I love her very much and would never let anyone make that decision. We have been dating for over a year now and it started off very roughly. We had been good friends for about 3 months at college before we started to date. The night before gave me some trouble though. We were not dating at the time but we both knew it was coming. We were at a party together and she was pretty drunk that night, and I caught her making out with another girl while a couple of guys were watching them. I became very angry with her and she was crying and said she would never do it again. I then left with some of my friends and then came back only to find her making out with the same girl and the same guys watching them. After that night I have always been a little paranoid since we've been dating and she never could see why. Anyways, after that rough start its been smooth sailing for an entire year. At this point I am very comfortable with her and I feel like I trust her. When we left college we knew it was going to be tough. She lives about 3 hours away from me so we can't see eachother much throughout the summer. I have lately become very paranoid because of the friends she hangs around with. Most of them have serious alcohol problems so they drink alot. She doesn't drink that often but the guys she is friends with all seem like they have a thing for her. One of them even called her his girlfriend the entire night they were at a party. That just makes me mad because she didn't even know the kid. Not to mention she always has guys that say they want to hang out with her and most of her girl friends seem like they don't have high morals and wouldn't care if she was actually doing something. Whenever I try to talk to her about this she automatically assumes that I am trying to stop her from having guy friends. Its not that I don't trust her, I dont trust the guys. I've never met any of them and I always hear about the disfunctional relationships that they have been in. Someone please tell me I'm just being jealous so I can return to my life with her..
bikinibeach Posted June 22, 2011 Posted June 22, 2011 you're NOT just being jealous. your girlfriend sounds like a selfish, attention whore bar star. not that there's anything wrong with that! i went through that phase. you two just seem incompatible. regardless of how much else you have in common, if you don't have the same respect and values for your relationship, it doesn't matter a whit. choose better next time!
LadyFlame Posted June 22, 2011 Posted June 22, 2011 Sweetheart, you are not jealous. Actually, you are extremely mild. If you want to know true jealousy (which, trust me, you don't) it's feeling this vicious snake erupt in your chest whenever you see your other half even looking at another member of the opposite sex and turning instantly cold, then crying in rage and then attacking him/her, sometimes with words, other times with violence; it's not even being able to watch certain films/tv programmes in case an attractive person comes on screen. It's having constant thoughts/images/fantasies out of nowhere that your partner is with someone or finds someone else attractive and then ACTING on those thoughts and trying to punish your partner for something they hadn't done. Jealousy is a killer. I am an extremely jealous person and it's made me violent, vicious, I've said terrible things, it has destroyed my relationships, it makes me go insane. And you are NOT a jealous person; in fact, your tolerance astounds me. If I found my partner kissing someone, and then doing it again, there would be dead bodies all over the place. Your girlfriend has no respect for you. I understand you love her but respect is very important.
PegNosePete Posted June 23, 2011 Posted June 23, 2011 Its not that I don't trust her, I dont trust the guys. Ah that old chestnut. I'm sorry to say, that's a paradox. If you trust her then you trust her to tell the guys to F off whatever they might say or do, right? But if you think the guys might be able to seduce her, then you don't trust her to tell them to F off. Someone please tell me I'm just being jealous so I can return to my life with her.. No sorry we will not lie to you. Your fears are totally justified. She is disrespecting you and your relationship. She is a party girl hanging around with other party girls and guys. I don't see this ending happily at all.
Space Ritual Posted June 23, 2011 Posted June 23, 2011 Your physical distance away from her, combined with her previous actions, and her protestations that you don't want her to have any male friends only indicates that your relationship with your girlfriend will soon see its last sunrise. But you already knew that, otherwise you'd have not written your original post. So no we won't tell you that you are just jealous and that you can return to your life with her, for you have no life with her....she is college age, and this is summer, which means for all intents and purposes, that she will be out partying, and most likely having sex with people that are not you....
rafallus Posted June 23, 2011 Posted June 23, 2011 She will not change. Take it or leave it. I would do the latter.
Chi townD Posted June 23, 2011 Posted June 23, 2011 Ummm...okay....I won't TELL you to break up with your girlfriend....but I will respectfully suggest it. I mean, come on! You were at a party and she was making out with a girl. She comes to you crying and says she's never do it again. You leave, later you come back AND SHE"S DOING IT AGAIN!!! And the Oscar goes to........... She's going out with a group of guys that you know some are crushing on her...Well, I've read thread after thread about these party girls getting drunk and one thing leads to another......and if you don't believe me just sift through the archieves.
Untouchable_Fire Posted June 23, 2011 Posted June 23, 2011 Someone please tell me I'm just being jealous so I can return to my life with her.. Just enjoy the relationship for what it is... If she hangs out with low moral girls... and loves having other guys chase her... she probably is a low moral cheating type herself. Personally... I would just be pretty apathetic. Don't stop flirting and or chasing other women. You are in college... DO NOT fence yourself in or you will regret it down the road. Be young... have fun.
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