vintagetack07 Posted June 22, 2011 Posted June 22, 2011 My boyfriend and I have been together now for about two years. I am in university and he is currently working full-time and making pretty decent money. During my second year of university we decided to rent a place together - it went horribly. He was not understanding of the time I needed to put into my schooling and was constantly bickering at me, while not really pulling his weight around the condo in regards to chores and grocery shopping and things like that. Anyway we decided one year was enough time to live together while I was at school...but now he is buying his own place about an hour away from where my school is (home town where I live during the summer) without my opinion or thoughts. He keeps saying how he wants to marry me and have a life together, but the thing is I don't think I'm going to end up living in the same city when I'm done school because my future career is more demanding in urban settings. I do not want to commute over an hour and a half each day for my job. Also, he is speaking about getting a dog as soon as he buys his first place. He has decided to rent out other rooms to his friends and I feel like I'm not considered in his future based on the choices he is making today. By buying a house of his own, getting a dog on his own, and living with his friend it makes me feel like I'm not important to him and my decision in our life together in the future is not important. Maybe he just doesn't respect me? He has done many other things that make me feel like he doesn't really love me. For example he broke up with me because I was so focused on school and went out with a different girl literally the day after. How am I suppose to trust what he says and that he values our relationship and future together? I feel like I need to move on with my life and if he can't wait for me I'm not going to make any compromise for him either... right?
azsinglegal Posted June 22, 2011 Posted June 22, 2011 Sounds like he's planning a life without you and you should do the same. I've been there when a man I've been with is all about him buying a house, his friends, dogs, bikes, etc. etc. As soon as that starts, I now know to get out because I'm not a part of it. I've also been the one planning things by myself without whoever I was dating, because I wasn't serious about a life with them. Good luck.
4you Posted June 23, 2011 Posted June 23, 2011 Have you confronted him about how you feel? Getting married is not exactly something you just throw around. Doesn't sound like he's acted on his words, sounds more like what you suspected: he's getting HIS life together. Then again, he could just be an impulsive dude, jumping into things without thinking it through, sayings things he can't back up. Take the first step and start offering your suggestions to him? If he wants to commit then he should at least consider valuing your opinion.
Coil Posted July 4, 2011 Posted July 4, 2011 I'd move on, he is obviously a self centered pos and not the one for you.
youngskywalker Posted July 4, 2011 Posted July 4, 2011 I'm sorry, but it doesn't sound like he is planning his life to be with you. If I was buying a house my g/f definitely wouldn't have a final say in anything unless she was going to make half the mortgage payment. But I would include her in it and be talking about long term arrangements. That, combined with the other things you said, it seems like he has one foot out the door.
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