tommybur Posted June 22, 2011 Posted June 22, 2011 Hello all, i wish i found this website sooner. My girlfriend broke up with me a few weeks ago. We were dating for 2 years. She is a great girl, i ended being the main reason for her decision to end things. I said/did some things which hurt her and in the end made her fall out of love with me. She has given me a few chances to change my ways, by ways i mean to control the way i would react towards her when we were arguing. I would say some mean stuff then the next day i would obviously regret it. I blurt out dumb stuff when i get upset. She would say nobody ever talked to me the way you have. Its not like it would happen all the time. Every now and then we would get into these dumb arguments and things would be said. Well the thurday before memorial day we got into a final arugment and she said she just cant do this anymore. shes done. that monday after she came back from her trip out of town w friends i went to her house and gave her a necklace n told her i really am committed to doing you right. Its safe to say that i havent shown her just how much she means to me in the past. So we went on with the week and then the following tuesday she came to my house and said she just cant do this anymore. her heart isnt in it anymore. She wishes she felt differently. This girl absolutely loved me. I guess i never really thought she'd leave me. I never took a look at what exactly i was doing wrong to cause our arguments until it was too late. So anyways i told her i wanted another shot and she said sorry. So the next night she called me and said she missed me and wanted to see me. I of course went over there and we spent night together. Then friday she texted and wanted to spend night. Then i didnt hear from her till sunday. That sunday i told her i felt like she was giving me false hope and i felt used. So then monday she wrote me a text saying we cant do this anymore. It isnt fair to either of us. She made her decision and she just cant do this anymore. So that was last week, i went all week without contacting her and then i broke on friday and sent her an email saying i care and hope somewhere down the road we can see where things go. She responded that its true only time will tell. Her birthday is coming up saturday and i leave for europe on friday. I want her back so bad. Shes the love of my life. I miss her so much. I was thinking about leaving some flowers and a card at her home. What do you all think? I have to be honest and say, i did take her love for granted looking back at our relationship. But these past few weeks ive opened my eyes to what she was saying to me and have really tried to make steps to bettering myself. I know i can impliment those changes for the better in our relationship if only she'd give me another shot. I just dont know what to do anymore..... thanks for reading. Tommy
getsback Posted June 22, 2011 Posted June 22, 2011 Sorry to hear this Tommy. Your situation sounds a lot like mine was before my ex left me. So far, you have done ok. But from now on, don't contact her at all. That's what everyone here willl tell you. It will show that you respect her and you are willing to give her the space she needs. She will be greatfull to you for doing it. If you send her flowers or start trying to get her to change her mind....SHE WILL RUN!
HeartOfAPhoenix Posted June 22, 2011 Posted June 22, 2011 If you send her flowers or start trying to get her to change her mind....SHE WILL RUN! yeah don't send her flowers, personally I wouldn't do anything for her b-day because after doing anything you will undoubtedly expect some sort of response. But if you are willing to take that chance you can get her a plain card. Just make sure it is friendly, doesn't say love anywhere on it, and you don't write I miss you or anything. Just write "happy birthday, wishing you the best" or something along those lines and DON'T EXPECT A RESPONSE. if anything I would expect complete silence from her or at most a simple thank you.
Kilty Posted June 22, 2011 Posted June 22, 2011 Normally id agree and say definitely dont do anything but in this situation i think its a bit different with you going to Europe after all. Since the break up of sorts is also so close to her birthday i would definitely acknowledge it particularly as you are still quite amicable. I would send the flowers and a nice card but definitely do not go over the top saying how much you love her, miss her & want another chance lah de dah etc etc. I would possibly leave a small apology in the card for how you have made her feel - something along those lines - but nothing too gushy. Basically you are wanting to wish her a happy birthday and not go away to Europe without upping and going without saying anything - i think to do neither could backfire especially if she is a bit mixed up and unsure about things due to the constant arguing - it may reinforce with her that you dont really care (which of course you do) Do not contact her in any way before then though and nothing after it. The ball is then in her court. I think though she might be in touch with you though before then Good luck
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