Salrana Posted June 22, 2011 Posted June 22, 2011 I really appreciate whoever replys to this, because God knows I need it. I met my ex gf thru myspace, 4 years ago, at first we would just talk regularly but then it became an addiction, she was with some one at that time buy eventually she left him for me, we officially started dating on December 31 2008, it was hard for us to meet, since her parents were really strict. I'm from NYC and she lives in Varginia, i went to see her every three months or so, she would go to her friends house so we can meet. The relationship was beautiful at first but it started dying, we stated arguing every day, I would yell at her for the smallest things, we talked about breaking up so many times but we couldn't because we loved each other so much. But last year on December 26 we broke up, she told me all men are the same and how I'm changing. I literally begged her to stop from leaving, but she didn't listen. I kept calling her over and over but no answer, then I decided that I'm done and no more. One of friends told me that she's talking to her ex again and a week from then she started going out with him. That shattered my soul. I couldnt believer this has happened. I just accepted the fact that she's not coming back ever, but then a month later she called me and told me that shs misses me and she can't stop thinking about me, I dont know what to do, should I talk to her? She wants to be friends, but I know it's going to bring back memories. Help plz. Thank you so much for reading this.
aisle_seat Posted June 22, 2011 Posted June 22, 2011 I guess that would depend on why your relationship was dying and what you spent so much time fighting about. Has anything changed?
aisle_seat Posted June 22, 2011 Posted June 22, 2011 Just re-read your post. She can't stop thinking about you but only wants to be friends? If you want to be more than friends and she doesn't, you're only going to torture yourself by staying in contact with her. How old are you both?
Author Salrana Posted June 22, 2011 Author Posted June 22, 2011 Since we started talking again we don't argue, I just hate the fact that she's with her ex, and I'm 22 she's 19. So I shouldn't talk to her anymore? Thanks for the reply
aisle_seat Posted June 22, 2011 Posted June 22, 2011 If she's still with the other guy he's obviously not her ex anymore. Again, I think you'd be torturing yourself to stay in contact with her if you want to be more than friends. If that's how you feel, then tell her that and that you won't be contacting her again. You're both pretty young, her especially, so she probably doesn't know what she wants and is therefore trying to keep you on the hook as a back-up. Don't play her game. I know it hurts, but you've got to move on with your life. Stay busy; you're in one of the most exciting cities in the country and it's full of beautiful women. Forget about her and go out and have fun. Let her think about what she's lost out on.
Author Salrana Posted June 22, 2011 Author Posted June 22, 2011 Sigh.,, how should i tell her to leave me alone, or it is ok for me to be just friends with her? Thanks again.
aisle_seat Posted June 22, 2011 Posted June 22, 2011 Dude, only you know if it's ok to be friends with her. But based on what you've written you are carrying a torch for her but she doesn't want to be in a relationship with you. A fact she illustrates vividly by being in relationship with another guy. If she wanted you, she'd break up with him before telling you clearly she wants to be with you. She hasn't done that; she gives you this "I wanna be friends" nonsense which, as I said, makes you her back-up plan if things don't work out with the other guy. My friend, you want to be the one and only for a girl...you want a woman who loves you and you alone, casting any and all others aside for good. It takes some time to get there after starting new with someone, but you've been with this girl for 4 years! If she isn't begging you to come back, she is (and sorry for the cliche) just not that into you. Don't give her what she wants, which is keeping you in the friend zone. Take a powder, my man; don't give her the satisfaction. Tell her if she doesn't love you enough to be with you exclusively, you aren't going to be her friend. You don't feel that way about her and you need to be with someone who returns your feelings. Don't apologize, just say that's how you feel and it's what you have to do to protect your heart.
Author Salrana Posted June 22, 2011 Author Posted June 22, 2011 Thanks for the help man, can I bother you again if anything?
aisle_seat Posted June 22, 2011 Posted June 22, 2011 Sure, anytime. I check this board fairly regularly. Good luck but you'll be fine; just stick to your guns.
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