ukie-cutie Posted June 22, 2011 Posted June 22, 2011 My neighbour last summer would peer over the fence at me all the time or come out whenever I was in my back yard.. A year or so ago I had commented on how my neighbour's bench he painted looked beautiful. He said he had other things he had painted & that I should come over to look at them. In which I did. We got on to just chatting & decided to have a few drinks together as he knew both my parents & Grandfather when he was alive. Well throughout the evening he kept making sexual remarks.. Examples such as: "So what do you like sexually?" Or "Have you ever been with a woman before? Most people have thought of it or have wanted to at one point or another." Also "I could kiss your cheek.." When he had asked me these questions I felt uncomfortable & my face would go red. At the time my spouse & me were having problems & decided to take a break from the relationship.. Instead of leaving I stayed for a few hours just to hang out with my neighbour. Well by the end of the night he decided to kick me out & I gave him a hug & had left.. I had decided a few days later to ask if when he returns if he would like to do something together. Such as go for a movie or so forth.. He declined my offer & said it was all in my head.. Yet had been giving me hints throughout the whole night... The thing is at the time I think since I was having problems with my spouse & we were on a break.. I thought someone showing me interest was a good thing & I was stupid for making the decision to even go over there ... Looking back I realize my neighbour is a creep & I think I made a big mistake by going over to his house.. Nothing sexually happened.. But it seems since that incident he treats me different... Almost like he is angry due to the fact that I had not jumped in to bed with him.. Which seems is what he had been hinting about all night... Well, my spouse & me have resolved things & are doing far better than a year ago... Our relationship is stronger & more loving ... Though my neighbours friend keeps parking in front of our house which is causing complications... Due to the fact that our relatives who come over have no where to park due to his friend or whatever she is keeps parking in front of our house. Also we are having our meter moved this summer & need to be able to park in the front due to the back lane being closed off.. Well.. My spouse went over there yesterday to inform him that he would want this to please stop. (He spoke with the girl..) My spouse was courteous & not at all disrespectful.. Instead he asked nicely if she could park in his driveway or in front of our neighbours house from here on.. Well today my neighbour kept ringing & knocking on our door four times as I was trying to lay down.. Obviously he was "peeved" that my spouse took it upon himself to speak up & tell his friend or girlfriend to park her vehicle else where. I refused to answer the door & when I did this the neighbour started mowing his lawn extremely close to our house for an hour straight.. Almost like he knew I was within the house & wanted to get my attention.. My spouse came home early & knocked the neighbours door due to being irritated by the neighbours harassing behaviour towards me. My neighbour said that my spouse was being down right disrespectful to knock on the door & ask her to move her vehicle at that time of night.. The neighbour also proceeded to tell my spouse that I threw myself upon him that night (in which I did not) & made me sound like a complete slut. He also said he wanted to tell my spouse man to man how he was such a gentlemen & how I wanted him to take advantage of me & how he wouldn't because he was a "gentlemen." How what I told him about that night was complete bull****.. We also have had problems with this neighbours parents trespassing in to our yard.. They trespassed in to our yard & even picked our fruit.. I actually went out there & told them to stop & they kept on continuing until I literally had to "scream" at them to get off of my property now. They also have picked our raspberries after being told to stop. This neighbour also continuously smokes pot & it reeks on our side of the house... As you can see this neighbour has been problematic.. He also has even taken down a fence by our yard. He also had seen a part in the fence that has rotted & keeps pushing the board out repeatedly.. Almost as to hint he wants a new fence put up.. (Which we cannot afford currently..) The neighbour also proceeded to tell my spouse how he works in "conflict management" & how he is a professional & how there has been a friction between the two houses for quite some time & how he deals with this daily & can help.... He also said how he was a good neighbour & how he was never disrespectful & always helping out.. The guy tried to make him sound like a complete saint & like I was a dirty slut who opened her legs for everyone... My spouse said "Didn't you ask her inappropriate questions? Or try to come on to her?" Such as "What do you like sexually?" OR "Have you ever been with a woman or wanted to?" OR "I could kiss you on the cheek right now..." "While your in the kitchen make me a sandwich.." & he said all of that was a complete lie & my spouse said he looked completely guilty when he was pretending he did none of this! I think the neighbour was so stoned out of his mind before I had even come over that he doesn't even remember his disgusting behaviour from that night... I suppose I just need advice on how to handle this situation... I want to avoid him as much as possible... But I feel like this neighbour wants to cause nothing but problems & instigates a lot of them... I just feel uncomfortable now going in my own backyard due to his sexual remarks & for him calling me a lier... I want advice on what it is I can do or on how he has acted..
Kentucky Jelly Posted June 23, 2011 Posted June 23, 2011 I have been very fortunate to have great neighbors most of the places I have lived. The few times I have lived next to wackos I have found it is best for them to be afraid of me rather than the other way around. The next time this dude wants a confrontation give it to him. Be the aggressor, tell him if he doesn't quit screwing with you you are going to kill his dog and nail it to his front door. Then be sure to yell at him every time you see him, especially when he peers over your fence when you are in the backyard. You really need to come uncorked and make this dude afraid. Otherwise you will never get any respect and he will keep screwing with you as long as you live there.
LuckyLady13 Posted June 23, 2011 Posted June 23, 2011 I don't have an answer for you but I do feel for you. I really do. I had a very similar neighbor for quite a few years. He kept trying to cheat on his wife with me and would make nasty remarks every time I turned him down. He would absolutely obsess over me and every time I left the house over the weekend or on a weeknight to go somewhere fun and get away from him and his stares...he would give me the most evil look like he was going to jump over the fence and attack me! He confessed to me that when I'd go somewhere with someone that wasn't him, he'd get jealous. We never went anywhere together so it's not as if I was close to him and dropped him for other (sane) people. This guy being married didn't make the slightest difference to him. Every time I went outside to water my grass, plant flowers or maintain my trees, he was obsessing over me and watching me. I totally understand how angry you must be feeling. There were days I just wanted to go outside in my yard in peace but he was always there watching and knowing this, knowing he wanted to cheat on his wife with me and knowing he was angry and jealous every time I left the house had me so furious I'm surprised I didn't flip out and light his grass on fire with him standing in his yard! Dealing with someone like this day after day after day after horrible day feels like you don't live next door to them but live WITH them. What ended up happening in my situation is he started getting violent toward his wife and one day he trapped her in her car. She was screaming and crying "leave me alone! leave me alone!" as he was trying to pull her phone out of her hand while she was trying to call someone for help. I went outside and said "she told you to leave her alone!" so...he came straight at me threatening me. Luckily someone called the police and his wife escaped with her car. It ended badly but could have been worse. In less than a month they sold their house! I haven't seen them since. I've also never seen someone able to sell a house so fast! I've run into a few odd men in my life who get very angry when they are turned down. I think in your case though, you accepted this guy flirting with you at one time and then changed your mind. He got angry. He's probably telling himself you're playing hot and cold games with him. Don't feel bad. Everybody makes mistakes and especially at times they're vulnerable. This guy should have moved on a looooooooooooong time ago. The problem is with him, not you.
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