Eternal Sunshine Posted June 22, 2011 Posted June 22, 2011 I made threads before where I said that my current boyfriend is not my type and that physical attraction is not as strong as what I felt in the past. It made me doubt things a lot...but we connected intellectualy and emotionally so well that I decided it was worth a shot. I was always somewhat physically attracted, it just wasn't to the "rip his clothes off all the time" level. Anyway, something weird happened. The better I got to know him, the more I liked him. The better we connected emotionally and the more we shared, the more attracted to him I got. Now I am completely in love and am attacking him for sex just as much as he is me Anybody else experienced this?
snug.bunny Posted June 22, 2011 Posted June 22, 2011 Yes! I think it can be much better that way. :bunny:
TheCoolest Posted June 22, 2011 Posted June 22, 2011 Nah. I have met girls and thought that they were ugly. Then talked to them and realized they were pretty. I think it has something to do with you liking there personality too. But everytime i date a girl she usually gets uglier as time goes on.
utterer of lies Posted June 22, 2011 Posted June 22, 2011 Anybody else experienced this? Yes. I think it's normal - you've had some months of positive experiences relating to him and sex, your brain adjusted. You've been imprinted with his smell and looks. Enjoy!
Author Eternal Sunshine Posted June 22, 2011 Author Posted June 22, 2011 Yeah, the fact the he is a "nice guy" and really kind to me made me like him more. It helps that he knows what he is doing in bed and we like the same things there
Author Eternal Sunshine Posted June 22, 2011 Author Posted June 22, 2011 All my other experiences were the opposite. I would meet a guy, I would be strongly physically attracted to the point where I ignore all the red flags and the fact that we have nothing in common. Then as the time went on, I would start losing the attraction and get bored within a month.
snug.bunny Posted June 22, 2011 Posted June 22, 2011 Well keep in mind, your boyfriend has a lot to do with how strongly your feelings have grown towards him, in that he has been (from the sounds of it) very loving and supportive and direct with his own feelings towards you. I think that has certainly helped you open up to him and allowed yourself to fall
Author Eternal Sunshine Posted June 22, 2011 Author Posted June 22, 2011 Well keep in mind, your boyfriend has a lot to do with how strongly your feelings have grown towards him, in that he has been (from the sounds of it) very loving and supportive and direct with his own feelings towards you. I think that has certainly helped you open up to him and allowed yourself to fall Definetely. Just on my way to have a mid-week dinner with him :love:
snug.bunny Posted June 22, 2011 Posted June 22, 2011 Definetely. Just on my way to have a mid-week dinner with him :love: Enjoy !!
Els Posted June 22, 2011 Posted June 22, 2011 Definitely. Very rare for me to find a guy physically/sexually attractive without feeling other sorts of attraction for him as well.
Janesays Posted June 22, 2011 Posted June 22, 2011 Anyway, something weird happened. The better I got to know him, the more I liked him. The better we connected emotionally and the more we shared, the more attracted to him I got. Now I am completely in love and am attacking him for sex just as much as he is me Anybody else experienced this? All the freaking time! I generally feel physically neutral about everyone when I first meet them. Then, after I get to know them, the attraction develops. A few weeks into things with my current boy, and he gives me chills just by smiling at me.
OhMittens Posted June 22, 2011 Posted June 22, 2011 I'd agree that the more you connect with a person the more attracted to them you are. When me and my ex were connected I couldn't keep my hands off of her. Yet when the relationship was coming to an end we were just not compatible and not happy, which made my desire drop off a lot. It doesn't mean I didn't find her just as beautiful, but not being happy with everything else really cancels that out.
tigressA Posted June 22, 2011 Posted June 22, 2011 The only time that happened to me was with my long-term ex, but it didn't last. After awhile the attraction lowered until it was nearly nonexistent. With my current BF, there was an instant attraction. It wasn't fireworks everywhere, though. Not the connection that's burned the brightest. It definitely has grown much more over time as we've gotten to know each other. I can't imagine myself with anyone else. :love:
youngskywalker Posted June 22, 2011 Posted June 22, 2011 .but we connected intellectualy and emotionally That's the key to a healthy relationship IME. Sexiness is more than physical attraction. I don't care how hot a woman is... if I think she is a b!#ch then I'm just not attracted to her. With my current g/f, at first I wasn't 'extremely' attracted to her physically but I've experienced the same thing you have. I want her on so many different levels. And yes, physically speaking I've become more attracted to her body and think she is so beautiful. She is perfect in my eyes and that's all that counts because it's my eyes that that have to look at her.
Ruby Slippers Posted June 22, 2011 Posted June 22, 2011 My attraction almost always grows in time. If we have a strong connection and keep strengthening the bond, I just want him more and more as time goes on. These little details about him, his peculiarities, just make me adore him and want him more.
Author Eternal Sunshine Posted June 22, 2011 Author Posted June 22, 2011 It's like the honeymoon period is just starting for me. We had dinner and then sat there talking for 5 hours. And we have just spent 3 full days together couple of days ago! It's like we never run out of the things to talk about (this is rare for me). Then we just walked around the city at 1am kissing. He picked up a flower for me from the city garden We went from "I love you" to "I love you forever" I just feel so close to him and so in love :love:
Author Eternal Sunshine Posted June 22, 2011 Author Posted June 22, 2011 Some women like to date ugly folks. They fall in love with the personality. WTF dude, he is far from ugly :mad:
Mme. Chaucer Posted June 22, 2011 Posted June 22, 2011 From what I know of you (via your posts here), this will have been the first time you've gotten to this stage of a relationship, right? I believe that there is always some initial attraction and it needs to be at least strong enough to get two people together. If the connection and relationship is successful and grows, even if the initial spark fades (which I know is not the case for you), new stuff is taking its place. When people are really "together," this is what happens. I believe it needs to, because I do not believe that explosive fireworks can be maintained over a long, long term relationship. So we react with physical attraction to the qualities we love, and to the feeling of love over time - rather than just to pheromones or hormones.
jasperste Posted June 22, 2011 Posted June 22, 2011 I've started a new thread on this topic but have had no replies. I was wondering if time will make me find my girlfriend's flat chest attractive. All my previous girlfriends have been at least a B cup but my current girlfriend doesn't even need to wear a bra. She is completely flat chested. I find breats attractive and thought that I would be able to overcome this after 6 months of dating however I find myself fantasising about larger breasted women when we are in bed and I feel bad. Can you ever really get over soemthing you find so fundamental to female attractiveness?
Author Eternal Sunshine Posted June 22, 2011 Author Posted June 22, 2011 From what I know of you (via your posts here), this will have been the first time you've gotten to this stage of a relationship, right? I believe that there is always some initial attraction and it needs to be at least strong enough to get two people together. If the connection and relationship is successful and grows, even if the initial spark fades (which I know is not the case for you), new stuff is taking its place. When people are really "together," this is what happens. I believe it needs to, because I do not believe that explosive fireworks can be maintained over a long, long term relationship. So we react with physical attraction to the qualities we love, and to the feeling of love over time - rather than just to pheromones or hormones. Yes, this is the first time for me. I used to worry that I will go through my life and never experience what being in requited love feels like. So even if this relationship ends, it will all be worth it.
Author Eternal Sunshine Posted June 22, 2011 Author Posted June 22, 2011 I want to marry him and have his babies
Ariadne Posted June 23, 2011 Posted June 23, 2011 I want to marry him and have his babies Cool! I think it´ll happen pretty soon!
Author Eternal Sunshine Posted June 23, 2011 Author Posted June 23, 2011 Cool! I think it´ll happen pretty soon! I am probably getting ahead of myself Maybe in a few years time. He listed what he likes about my personality today: -that I am sincere and honest -warm and able to feel things deeply -smart, witty and perceptive - I never bore him -even when I have bouts of irrationality, I am still aware that I am being irrational and am able to discuss issues logically. - thoughtful - dramatic - a bit spaced out at times which makes him feel like he is my anchor and someone who stabilizes me and grounds me and he likes that feeling. Then he said that we are made for each other
oaks Posted June 23, 2011 Posted June 23, 2011 - a bit spaced out at times which makes him feel like he is my anchor and someone who stabilizes me and grounds me and he likes that feeling. Ahh! So that's why he puts up with you! Stay crazy, girl. (now I'm running away fast before ES thumps me)
Ariadne Posted June 23, 2011 Posted June 23, 2011 He listed what he likes about my personality today: Yeah, I´d agree with all of that. I´m getting a little hopeful also. Enjoy! Glad you got to live all this.
Recommended Posts