lilmisscheerful Posted June 22, 2011 Posted June 22, 2011 How long do you have to be dating to see someone's true colors? If after dating them for say three months and they are pretty much the same person you saw when you first starting dating can you then relax? What does it mean if there personality changed for the worst and they started treating you less well after several weeks? Did you just have rose tinted glasses on and ignored some red flags early on?
carhill Posted June 22, 2011 Posted June 22, 2011 I generally see red flags (elemental incompatibilities) nearly immediately but have in the past chosen to ignore them. Being sensitive to minute details can be both a blessing and a curse. Further, I watch how they treat people they say they love and observe those associations. Re-reading an e-mail I wrote to my exW tonight, if I were to compare to when we were dating over a decade ago, I'd say I treat her the same. I just don't love her anymore. She doesn't get the 'extra'. That doesn't mean she shouldn't be treated like a human being, with decency and respect. Personally, I've never seen the 'relaxing' part of relationships as healthy. They should be relaxed and synergistic from the beginning. No masks, no airs, no performing.
Damien Posted June 22, 2011 Posted June 22, 2011 It really depends, different people usually have different opinions about this. I'm 21 and for me it's been '1 year' for someone to show their true selves. My first gf that I dated back in school dumped me about a year later, she was one of the nicest girls around and always hung out together with me and our mutual friends. But a year later she changed, she ignored all of us, dumped me and started sleeping around with guys much, much older. My most recent ex dumped me last September. Everything was 'perfect' at the start, we spent a lot of time together, we talked about our studies and what we wanted to do in the future etc. A year into the relationship she started becoming distant and I always had to initiate conversations etc. Maybe I was just stupid and didn't see some red flags early on but after she dumped me I found out that's when she started liking another guy she's been friends with (We dated for 3 years, I went through 2 years without knowing!!)
Recommended Posts