bluerskies Posted June 22, 2011 Posted June 22, 2011 My ex and I broke upa little over a month ago. We've been there, done that several times before. We always get back together. This time feels different. He came back after a month (as per the routine)... I felt happy to hear from him. I enjoy talking to him. I like seeing him. I wouldn't say I'm over him by any means. I don't want him to not love me. But something feels really off. Wrong. Not like the other times. I'm afraid I'm falling out of love with him, or possibly fell out of love with him while we were broken up and didn't realize it until all of a sudden he was back, wanting to be with me again. The thing is...I feel upset about this. I don't want to be out of love. I don't even know if that's what it is. I suppose that's actually irrelevant. I was just wondering if anyone here has any experiences where they felt they'd fallen out of love only to find themselves back in love? I can't imagine falling in love with any of my (old) exes again. It just doesn't seem possible.
Author bluerskies Posted June 22, 2011 Author Posted June 22, 2011 Two years. We've had 3 big breakups. Always lasted a month. Always him that wanted it to * actually * be over. Always him that came back to me. Always me that took him back. Now it's me wishing I could just take him back but not feeling...something. That's a really condensed version but eh.
wilsonx Posted June 22, 2011 Posted June 22, 2011 3 big breakups is the key here... it means none of your previous problems are being fixed... it takes 2 people to make a relationship work... if you are the only one, the find someone else that is willing to work at it too
Author bluerskies Posted June 22, 2011 Author Posted June 22, 2011 3 big breakups is the key here... it means none of your previous problems are being fixed... it takes 2 people to make a relationship work... if you are the only one, the find someone else that is willing to work at it too No doubt all of those things are true. But that's a discussion for another time! I just wanted to know if anyone had ever fallen back in love after falling out of love?
wilsonx Posted June 22, 2011 Posted June 22, 2011 why waste your time... either fix the problems or move on to someone else where those problems dont exist. you're missing the point... it happens but its like me wanting to go back to my old cheating GIGS having ex... id rather spend my energy on someone that has never hurt me then someone that has
Author bluerskies Posted June 22, 2011 Author Posted June 22, 2011 why waste your time... either fix the problems or move on to someone else where those problems dont exist. you're missing the point... it happens but its like me wanting to go back to my old cheating GIGS having ex... id rather spend my energy on someone that has never hurt me then someone that has We are trying to fix them. We've talked a lot about them. I think he genuinly wants things to be better. He's not a bad person. The problem is I don't feel that same * whatever * it is that tells you you're in love. Is it just because we haven't seen each other very much since we broke up? Does it just require spending more time together? More talking? Everytime I've seen him I've felt a lack of that * whatever *. It makes me sad.
Lemontang Posted June 22, 2011 Posted June 22, 2011 It's like the saying goes "Absence makes the heart grow fonder". If you guys have a solid grounding then this may ring true. But the fact is your simply just not that into him anymore. It happens a lot, especially around the magical 9 month mark (though really it can happen anytime). You made it to two years on and off, and now a part of you is saying do I really want to waste more of your time and his drama on him? He's walked away from you 3 times in two years. He's played his cards only to keep reeling you in with another round of Poker and the chance to win big. Isn't it about time you found someone that doesn't walk away at all?
threebyfate Posted June 22, 2011 Posted June 22, 2011 What was his reasoning for breaking up with you three times in two years?
pd8mxq Posted June 24, 2011 Posted June 24, 2011 It's like the saying goes "Absence makes the heart grow fonder". If you guys have a solid grounding then this may ring true. But the fact is your simply just not that into him anymore. It happens a lot, especially around the magical 9 month mark (though really it can happen anytime). You made it to two years on and off, and now a part of you is saying do I really want to waste more of your time and his drama on him? He's walked away from you 3 times in two years. He's played his cards only to keep reeling you in with another round of Poker and the chance to win big. Isn't it about time you found someone that doesn't walk away at all? Hey Lemontang, what do u mean when you say if you guys have a solid grounding, then the say might be true? What do you mean by that?
Lemontang Posted June 24, 2011 Posted June 24, 2011 Hey Lemontang, what do u mean when you say if you guys have a solid grounding, then the say might be true? What do you mean by that? The best way to sum it up is that you both started the relationship off on a clean slate, no baggage or rebounds from other relationships. So you could both focus on each other and not have one deal with another persons drama coming into the relationship. The fact that he's walked out on you 3 times already doesn't bode well, and your simply tired of his get out of jail free card he keeps pulling to get back with you. In other words your starting to see what or who he really is and realise he's just not for you. If you need to take time out. Take it, explain it to him at the very least. You may even see another side of him because it was you that took the step. But the important thing is you do it for yourself and no one else, and in time you may want to revisit or simply move on.
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