worth working on

[Clubman35]

Hello, All....

First off, I'll start by saying that my wife and I have been married 13 years. I love her more today than the day we married. Now, the problems.... we have never had an easy marriage. I could never be considered husband of the year, that's for sure, but I have never been unfaithful to her no have I ever struck her or any other thing like that. My problem has always been, that I have never been a very romantic guy.... never said the right things, never complimented her when I should have, that is, up until about 12-18 months ago, when I realized that I didn't like the person that I was and decided to change my behavior. I had always wanted to be what she wanted/needed but I just wasn't sure how. I grew up in an abusive household where the only attention I every received was a smack up side the head. I really felt like I was making a huge change for the better.... I felt like this last year has been one of the better years of our marriage. That's why I'm in total shock now. My wife moved out about 2 weeks ago. I had no idea that she had planned to do this. I also found out that we were over $6000 behind on our mortgage. She had always handled the finances & I trusted her. We had a problem with her 'cheating' (sort of) back in April of this year. She had met up with an old male friend. She claims that a group of old school friend got together at a local bar and one thing led to another and they kissed. She didn't surrender this info, I found out because she was joking about it with a friend after the fact. She admitted that it was wrong and insured me that it was nothing and would never happen again. Only weeks after this, I checked our cell phone records and discovered that they were still talking. Since then, things have continued to go down hill. When she left, she left my son & I with no money, very little food, and all the pets to care for. I had to borrow money from my father because I have recently been laid off from my job after nearly 23 years.

 

I guess I don't know what to do at this point. She tells me that she can't come home at this point. Friends and family tell me to divorce her, but it's not their spouse. She has agreed to go to cancelling, and I'm afraid that if I file ANY legal paper work, that she'll back out. Part of me wants to hang on, while part of me says, "screw her". She doesn't care about me or losing our home. Any ideas? Thanks.

[coolheadal]

Get out before it's to late! I am in the same type of boat. The wife hasn't made any payments on the mortgage they're calling like crazy now. The house is headed for the Big F sign in front. The wife is saying she's not fooling around but she's not even here. She take clothes puts them into a tote bag and gone. Comes back once in a while. She's been texting this marriage guy friend but he's taking her out for dinner, movies an etc.. She's changed her hair and appearance.

 

Well you know what yours is doing and you know what's going on, you don't want her to come back as since she was a cheater! They never come back to the way you had it prior. Take your family advice and get out of the mess. Not much you can do about it. She has made her choice and your not it!

 

MC can't change her mine if she's been fooling around and was a cheater. My wife side everyone in that family is a cheater, but I didn't know that until after being married to her. Her mom thought I was like them cheaters I said what! No way I was raise like that! That's pretty much why I don't get on with them.

 

So listen from one man to another get out of this before it's too late. You might have to move in with your dad house or another family member. I leaving takes time to pack though. But I have to get out here and the town where she is. I don't want to talk to her anymore!