AlisaMarie Posted June 21, 2011 Posted June 21, 2011 Hi everyone. Well 7 months ago I was writing the same crap about the same idiot. I don't understand this hold. This was the second time he moved out and it certainly doesn't hurt as bad as last year, and I was much stronger when he left, but 5 days later and 3 days of nc, I feel worthless. My friends are SO beat from this. They all told me they hated him, couldn't stand to see someone like me put up with such garbage from someone who acted like a child... but this one tugged on my soul like no one ever has. I know I have to let go, I know I can't contact him, I know that there are 10000000000 people out there feeling the same, if not worse. I want to make changes, reinvent myself... because this girl hasn't been working out for the past decades. I just don't know where to begin with him stuck in my brain. Who's he with? What's he doing? Does he regret? Will he come back since he always did before? Does the "other girl" have him by the hook? God it just won't stop! I know eventually I will just not care. Not a big country fan but the song a little bit stronger by Sara Evans is kind of relating to me.
california15 Posted June 21, 2011 Posted June 21, 2011 definitely not a kelly clarkson fan but "never again" has somewhat helpful lyrics
Author AlisaMarie Posted June 21, 2011 Author Posted June 21, 2011 Thank you. Music helps me get some tears and thoughts out. So does LS. I feel like I've always been mentally alone, but this physical stuff hurts. I just wish I could erase the past 2 years, or have it be 2 years from now so I am over him. This is absolutely the worst thing for people to feel... at least me.
Andrew80 Posted June 21, 2011 Posted June 21, 2011 The part about worrying about what he is doing is exactly what is going through my mind. I just tell myself to stay nc and if things are mention to work out they will fall into place. It is truly the most mentally exhausting thing to worry about what someone is doing 100%when you dont even know if they even care. My suggestion is working out. Whenever I workout I forget about my ex. That 1 hr of not worrying does wonders
Author AlisaMarie Posted June 21, 2011 Author Posted June 21, 2011 The part about worrying about what he is doing is exactly what is going through my mind. I just tell myself to stay nc and if things are mention to work out they will fall into place. It is truly the most mentally exhausting thing to worry about what someone is doing 100%when you dont even know if they even care. My suggestion is working out. Whenever I workout I forget about my ex. That 1 hr of not worrying does wonders Hi Andrew... I have been working out, but during stressful times I lean on my cigarettes. I tried to go to the gym yesterday and seriously thought I was going to die. Plus we live in a small county and I saw people he works with. I know it will pass, I just can't stand not knowing how to change me to avoid these awful thoughts. What lesson am I being taught here?
Author AlisaMarie Posted June 21, 2011 Author Posted June 21, 2011 It's like I am sitting here waiting to hear something that will miraculously make me feel better. There is nothing. Everyone else's stories seem to break my heart even more. I am not misery loves company I just want everyone to be happy why can't this effin happen anymore? For anyone!?
Andrew80 Posted June 21, 2011 Posted June 21, 2011 Hi Andrew... I have been working out, but during stressful times I lean on my cigarettes. I tried to go to the gym yesterday and seriously thought I was going to die. Plus we live in a small county and I saw people he works with. I know it will pass, I just can't stand not knowing how to change me to avoid these awful thoughts. What lesson am I being taught here? Cigarettes arent the end of the world. I stopped becuase they made me always anxious plus having stressful thoughts all the time just made everything worse. I know exactly what you mean about seeing his friends at the gym. I am a personal trainer and i am required to be at the gym alot and i see my ex almost everyday. There is nothing that will make you miraculously feel better. I know exactly how you feel im going through it right now. Just surround yourself with friends and family and always try to keep your mind on things regardless of how you feel. another tip i found is turn your phone off so you are not tempted to keep waiting for a call. I wish you the best luck and i PROMISE you things will get better.
Author AlisaMarie Posted June 21, 2011 Author Posted June 21, 2011 Cigarettes arent the end of the world. I stopped becuase they made me always anxious plus having stressful thoughts all the time just made everything worse. I know exactly what you mean about seeing his friends at the gym. I am a personal trainer and i am required to be at the gym alot and i see my ex almost everyday. There is nothing that will make you miraculously feel better. I know exactly how you feel im going through it right now. Just surround yourself with friends and family and always try to keep your mind on things regardless of how you feel. another tip i found is turn your phone off so you are not tempted to keep waiting for a call. I wish you the best luck and i PROMISE you things will get better. Thank you Andrew... What happened in your relationship? I don't understand why we have to feel this way.
Andrew80 Posted June 21, 2011 Posted June 21, 2011 Thank you Andrew... What happened in your relationship? I don't understand why we have to feel this way. My ex and I started to crumble about 3 months ago where i was stuck in between a fight between herself and my mother. I was the middle man where she basically made me choose her or my mother. long story short it was relatively resolved but fights started originating from the original fight and it got to the point where she felt i was not supportive and she was looking long term at how the relationship between my mother and her would b and ongoing fight. For me it sucks because no fight was personal towards each other. I was out of town when she told me she was "talking" (actual words) with someone else 2 days after we decided it was official. Ive been staying NC for almost a week. It seems like everyday is getting worse.
Andrew80 Posted June 21, 2011 Posted June 21, 2011 I guess for me it just hurts to see someone get out of a 3 year relationship and get into a new one when we were clearly in love. I dont know how she feels but everyday i go NC hurts more and more. I dont know why it hurts so bad to lose someone.
Author AlisaMarie Posted June 21, 2011 Author Posted June 21, 2011 I guess for me it just hurts to see someone get out of a 3 year relationship and get into a new one when we were clearly in love. I dont know how she feels but everyday i go NC hurts more and more. I dont know why it hurts so bad to lose someone. Andrew, I understand. My ex broke up with me to be with someone else... then after a few weeks came back and denied her... then she blew his phone up for 6 months while we were back together... now he's with her again. WTF? 2 years of my time and energy wasted on this selfish jerk. His parents had a tug on our relationship as well... just too much drama makes it seem not so worth it anymore.
WTRanger Posted June 21, 2011 Posted June 21, 2011 It's no different that when we were kids. I'm sure all of us had that one toy we never played with. But oh Holy Jeebus, if that toy was sold or given away we threw one hell of a fit. If your relationships were that strong, you wouldn't have broken up. If your ex loved you that much, they wouldn't have left. Right now, you are simply remembering the past as much better than it really was. The back in the "good ole days" mentality. When in reality, the good ole days really weren't so good after all. You are remembering the ex as the person that they were, not the person they are. Well, the person they were doesn't exist anymore and probably never did exist. All you have is how things are right now, today. That's it. So given the selfish actions of these bastards, do you really want them back? Do you not respect yourself that much to think that just because you have feelings for someone that it gives that other person the right to stomp all over your emotions?
Andrew80 Posted June 21, 2011 Posted June 21, 2011 It's no different that when we were kids. I'm sure all of us had that one toy we never played with. But oh Holy Jeebus, if that toy was sold or given away we threw one hell of a fit. If your relationships were that strong, you wouldn't have broken up. If your ex loved you that much, they wouldn't have left. Right now, you are simply remembering the past as much better than it really was. The back in the "good ole days" mentality. When in reality, the good ole days really weren't so good after all. You are remembering the ex as the person that they were, not the person they are. Well, the person they were doesn't exist anymore and probably never did exist. All you have is how things are right now, today. That's it. So given the selfish actions of these bastards, do you really want them back? Do you not respect yourself that much to think that just because you have feelings for someone that it gives that other person the right to stomp all over your emotions? That is a really good advice. thanks
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