JamesMay Posted June 21, 2011 Posted June 21, 2011 Hi everyone, It's been a while since I posted here but I just had a horrible week. My ex-girlfriend and I broke up a little over a year ago after four years together. Three years ago I started a small business project with one of her new housemates. I didn't know him very well personally (nor did she) but after a while I noticed he was really into her even though he had a girlfriend. As everything was going well both in my relationship and my business I decided not to pay too much attention to it. He would hang around with her, put his arm around her in public or touch her ass while hugging. Even though he was very physical with a lot of girls (and guys) he seemed especially touchy with her. She didn't seem to be particularly annoyed by it but not very into him either (she joked about his behaviour, him being gay or touchy with everyone). He had a girlfriend right? They were becoming good friends. Near the end of my relationship one of my mates told me I should watch out for him but I didn't want to stir things up in the business or show her I was jealous When we broke up last year things became worse. It was a mutual breakup but very painful nonetheless. After a couple of weeks I had a talk with her about giving it another shot since we hadn't really talked a lot or tried to resolve our issues (we were living seperate lives after she had been away for an student exchange programme). She told me she didn't believe in second chances and that she had talked a lot with her housemate who understood her and confirmed to her that I hadn't paid enough attention to her. Since we have a lot of common friends we would often be in the same bars or at the same parties and she would always be accompanied by him. He would now put is arm around her constantly, getting her drinks, acting all douchy around me. My friends would talk ask me about it and strongly disapproved of him. This while he was still dating his girl (who I have rarely seen him with in public) and my ex was clearly messed up by the break-up. He also started to become more cocky towards me in the business, always challenging my ideas and communicating less and less. I was getting very annoyed as you can imagine so I asked my ex what was going on but she looked at me as if I was crazy and told me she would never be interested in a guy like him. She also said he had a girlfriend and was just being his touchy self, surely nothing more. Two weeks after our talk I heared he had slept in her bed after another one of those parties. I was very angry at both of them and called her the day after asking what had happened. She said he had come up to her room with her and stayed there until she fell asleep but nothing had happened. She was sorry and told me I had been completely right and she would talk to him and see less of him. She seemed freaked out and in distress, asked me to stay out of it to avoid further conflict, which I did. Things seemed to get better, at least as far as I could tell, but then again I didn't see her much. My ex and I moved on, she went away again for a couple of months but when she got back it started again. I was seeing more of her too, on a friendly basis now (our parents are good friends since we were little, her sister is a good friend of mine too...) and we would occasionaly flirt, she would send me texts about a test that went well, go out to a gig or just random chat. Let's say I thought we were both still not over eachother and hoping for another chance. Especially the last couple of weeks we started seeing more of eachother, going out for a drink. Last week we grabbed dinner together in a park and talked a little bit about life, what we wanted to do, how we were both not ready for serious relationships... She seemed very happy (she's graduating this semester). I went back to my flat to study for my finals and around midnight I went outside for a walk/smoke, pondering a little bit about our chat. And there it was: from a distance I saw the two of them hand in hand, hugging, kissing and as they came closer I was sure. I was disgusted and shocked, texted her to ask what the **** was going on and she said that the past few weeks they had 'kissed' a couple of times on drunks night out and he broke up with his girlfriend so it was ok and we broke up more than a year ago too. I was very uncool about it and removed her from all social media/mobile/etc... I don't want to see her face again. She told me I was a friend. I never asked about her love life but I feel like she should have told me at least, not to say she's plain wrong. I'm especially ****ed up cause I'm in the middle of my finals and have no one to talk about it. I'm also wondering what to do about him? He texted me to say he felt sorry but that I shouldn't make a big deal out of it and 'two single friends kissing is something that happens'. I feel screwed and utterly stupid!
lalalandman Posted June 21, 2011 Posted June 21, 2011 Dude, ignore her. Put her out of your life completely.
wilsonx Posted June 21, 2011 Posted June 21, 2011 women lie... ive come to find out, even those you thought were your best friends
Author JamesMay Posted June 21, 2011 Author Posted June 21, 2011 Thanks for the comments. I'm not seeing her again for sure, even though it's going to be akward in a lot of situations. Her sister thinks I'm exagerating!! What should I do about him though? I hate his guts even more now. He wanted to talk to me about it, minimizing the facts, but I said there was nothing to talk about and his motives had been clear and inappropriate for years. I told him a lack of respect doesn't get resolved in a little talk and that he lacked balls. Should I be the bigger man here or did he cross way to many lines for that?
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