just_scott Posted June 21, 2011 Posted June 21, 2011 k so my ex girlfriend of 4 yrs has another guy .they may have been seeing each other while we were still a couple [least towards the end when she just walked out on me ] .they go to a dance hall once a week for dance lessons ,the place just happens to be a half a block from my house . now she's told me in the not so far past that she has a late night once a week taking a college class which is a flat out lie, it's the dance class . we've been doing the ''no contact'' thing steadily for about a week now [she left me a month ago ] we are EX'S now unless something changes and she breaks the ''no contact'' and we reconcile [doubtful] WE will have to break the ''no contact'' cause i am moving and havestuff of hers here,i've told her it's boxed up come pick it up ,she says she can't now,asked if i would mind taking it with me and she''ll pick it up at a later time ,i said no problem . RIGHT now i feel FOOLISH her being a half a block away with some guy doing dance [ i see her car in the lot] i know what time the classes start and end I feel why don't i just walk by conveiantly and be like ohhh hi would i feel better ?probably not it's just i don't like to be flat out lied to [no one does] would any of you confront ? just for piece of mind and to say i'm not stupid ..
HeartOfAPhoenix Posted June 21, 2011 Posted June 21, 2011 I wouldn't, just shows that you aren't taking the steps to move on. yes she cheated but that ship sailed when the relationship ended. another reason would be this: how much better would it feel when/if she comes back looking to reconcile after you have moved on? you could just say you don't date cheaters or something along those lines. I know that's mean and immature but I also feel that it is mean and immature to leave someone then after dating other people, expecting them to welcome you back with open arms.
betterdeal Posted June 21, 2011 Posted June 21, 2011 (edited) The only decent reason I can think of to confront her is to discourage her from hanging around your block. You could join the dance class. They always have more women than men going to them... fish & barrel come to mind... Edited June 21, 2011 by betterdeal
Trimmer Posted June 21, 2011 Posted June 21, 2011 we are EX'S now unless something changes and she breaks the ''no contact'' and we reconcile [doubtful] I would let this be your guide. Live, and act, like this is your reality now. RIGHT now i feel FOOLISH her being a half a block away with some guy doing dance Don't feel foolish. If she was starting up with him before she left you, then she's the foolish, dishonest one. Let her go live that life. You move on with yours. would i feel better ?probably not... I think you're probably right. Ask yourself: what good can come of this? Then ask: how could this go wrong? At a minimum, you'll put yourself into an AWWWWKward situation, and I don't think, in the end, that you'll come out with much positive to show for it. Now believe me, I sympathize, and I totally understand the temptation. I just think the possiblity of coming out feeling more foolish, messed up, or even humiliated is moderate, and the possiblity of anything really good, growth-oriented, and/or forward-looking coming out of it is pretty low.
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