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Fell in love with a prostitute and dishonest person. Still love her though.

steviek2000

By steviek2000
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steviek2000 New Member

steviek2000

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Well here it goes. You will all see how stupid I am.

 

I live in Philly and every now and then I would get an escort. I never really thought much of it and have done it many times. One time I met this one escort that I found exceptionally attractive. She had the face and body I love. She was from Miami and would come to Philly every couple of months or so. I would see her whenever she was in town. A couple of times she stayed at my place. I could tell she loved money and I have a really nice place, nice car etc. I didn't care because I figured she got her needs met and I got the girl I wanted. Anyways one time I asked her if she wanted to go on a vacation with me for a week. I would pay her and we would have fun. Well we went. Near the end of the vacation she asked me if I wanted to be in a relationship full time with her. Something told me not a good idea. But anyways I wasn't thinking straight and said yes. So she told me she would quit escorting but she would no longer have a job so would need help with her rent/expenses. I was okay with it since I'm pretty comfortable and could afford it.

 

Anyways we went out for a few months. I would go to Miami and she would come to Philly. We went on more vacations and everything was cool. We even talked about getting engaged. Soon I found out she was quite dishonest. First thing was I caught her going through my emails. I have logging on my computer and it recorded it all. I confronted her and she denied and denied. I just wish she had told the truth and it would have been bad, but not end of the world.

 

Second thing is I found out she was back to escorting all while me paying her bills !!! Third thing I found out was that she had been arrested for various things 3 times in her past. Fourth thing was the boyfriend of her girlfriend talked to me one night when all of us were out. He talked to me in the men's bathroom ( girls at table ) warning me not to trust her. So anyways to make a long story shorter we broke up. She was getting angry at me because I was questioning her. I didn't apologize and that's pretty much how it ended. I didn't feel like apologizing as she was the dishonest one. We just stopped talking. This was last year !! Anyways I still miss her, and know she is really bad for me, but lately I have had this bout of obssession over her and keep thinking I was too hard on her and I should have approached things differently. I rationally know this is STUPID but then I keep thinking probably some other guy is having a great time with her.

 

Agggghhhhh...... any advice ? this is killing me. Why am I so stupid and just can't be with a good nice girl that is honest and loves me ?

youngskywalker Established Member

youngskywalker

Posted
Posted
Why am I so stupid and just can't be with a good nice girl that is honest and loves me ?

 

Because you haven't been kicked square in the balls hard enough to know what if feels like to be used by a women.

mo mo Established Member

mo mo

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Geez, and I thought the "my wife goes to a swingers club without me" thread was bad..

 

That's two BA threads today LS. TWO

 

amazing!!!

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steviek2000 New Member

steviek2000

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Because you haven't been kicked square in the balls hard enough to know what if feels like to be used by a women.

 

I believe there is no doubt she was using me and I was stupid not to see it or I would make excuses for it. If I had married her, I have no doubt I would be paying large alimony checks soon afterwards. When I think about it she uses men just like men really use her. So it is hard at times to feel anger towards her, as she is the one that has been used too. All I know is that when I was with her I felt great to have this hot girl with me but I also felt a huge amount of anxiety.

 

I think when she knew I had caught on to her, she knew she would no longer get anything more out of it.

youngskywalker Established Member

youngskywalker

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All I know is that when I was with her I felt great to have this hot girl with me

 

I would suggest internet porn. Same result but it doesn't suck the lifeblood out of you.

Cee Established Member

Cee

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To be honest, it sounds like you need treatment for sex addiction. Your story sounds more complicated than simply falling for the hooker with a heart of gold. You have a pattern of seeing escorts and that doesn't sound at all healthy to me.

 

Keystone in Chester is one of the best sex addiction treatment centers in the world. That's where the movie stars go for treatment. Russell Brand wrote about going there in his autobiography. I'd pick up his book and get some help. Good luck.

fiatlux New Member

fiatlux

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Well, it seems to me that you are anything but stupid and may have found out (possibly again) that love can hurt. That is true for everyone.

 

To sort things out you need to decide what you really want out of life and be firm about it. Does it really cross your value system to be lied to? If so, then you need to have a firm rule about the consequences of lying to you and stick to it. If, however, lying doesn't matter at all then simply forgive her and start over.

 

Write down a list of all the things you believe you love about her. Put everything down on paper. Then look at your list and identify the things you love that only this girl could offer you and no one else. Chances are that list will have zero items because no one is really so unique and special that no one else could fill their shoes. If that is the case then go looking for the girl who can give you all of the positive things without any of the lying. When you find her marry her.

 

Best wishes!

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steviek2000 New Member

steviek2000

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I can't be with someone that will will suck me dry and leave me broke. Maybe that wouldn't happen but there is also a good chance it would. Thanks for the advice !

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steviek2000 New Member

steviek2000

Posted
  • Author
Posted
To be honest, it sounds like you need treatment for sex addiction. Your story sounds more complicated than simply falling for the hooker with a heart of gold. You have a pattern of seeing escorts and that doesn't sound at all healthy to me.

 

Keystone in Chester is one of the best sex addiction treatment centers in the world. That's where the movie stars go for treatment. Russell Brand wrote about going there in his autobiography. I'd pick up his book and get some help. Good luck.

 

At one time I was in full with addiction. I have calmed down quite a bit since getting some help for it. I don't see escorts anymore. I date lots of nice girls but they don't "do it" for me like the other types. I will say though that many are great friends to me and I really like them.

Cee Established Member

Cee

Posted
Posted
At one time I was in full with addiction. I have calmed down quite a bit since getting some help for it. I don't see escorts anymore. I date lots of nice girls but they don't "do it" for me like the other types. I will say though that many are great friends to me and I really like them.

 

You might want to get a therapist to work with you through the issue of wanting women who aren't good for you and not being attracted to the ones who are. Changing your attraction template won't happen over night. But one thing I know that will help is to abstain completely from any contact with escorts. If you can't stay away from escorts, you might need to go back to treatment.

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steviek2000 New Member

steviek2000

Posted
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You might want to get a therapist to work with you through the issue of wanting women who aren't good for you and not being attracted to the ones who are. Changing your attraction template won't happen over night. But one thing I know that will help is to abstain completely from any contact with escorts. If you can't stay away from escorts, you might need to go back to treatment.

 

It would be ideal if I could change the women I'm attracted too. I just don't think it is possible. I think maybe I should settle down with a nice girl for a family and then on the side have fun with the ones I'm attracted too but are not "family" type of girls...

TheCoolest Established Member

TheCoolest

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If you were paying her way she never cared about you. Person that you are supposed to love tends to love you back. She never loved you. Move on.

rafallus Established Member

rafallus

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Simple rule of thumb:

 

Escorts and strippers = F***ed in the head (usually HARD!)

Edited by rafallus
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