just_scott Posted June 20, 2011 Posted June 20, 2011 HI Dumped by my girl after a 4 yr long relationship ,we never had any major issues [just little fires and we put them out ] .A moth ago she Literally just walked out on me ,we were hanging out watching t.v. and small talking , i had to run next door for 2 min to loan a neighbor something,i come back she's gone . leaves a box of jewelery which i've given her over the yrs on my counter. NOW she's told people and her family she's ''crazy about me '' and she could ''never hurt nor think of hurting me'' tells me she's ''always thinking of me at home ,work, etc .it was real ... AFTER she walks out on me ,i call her no reply.i wait a day nothing,2 days later i go by her place say hi what's going on ,she says nothing.i ask for an explination she has none. SHE says Scott i'm not in love with you anymore,i don't love you anymore.i'm shocked say ''what did i do ''? she says i've done nothing wrong ,it's her . NOW a month later we are in ''no contact'' WE will have to have contact because i am moving ,i've told her ,told her her stuff is in a ox she can feel free to get them ,SHE asked if she cannot get here before i move IF i would take the stuff and she will pick them up when she can .i said not a problem IF i don't hear from her by like August i will call and simply say i've moved your stuff is safe come get them [ i don't want them with me ] NOW how after 4 yrs of loving,carring,respecting can someone with no justifiable reason just up and leave ? K maybe she's scared to tell me , or embarrased by something she's done [ i do believe she is seeing ssomeone may have while we were together] MAYBE she dn't want to hurt me more and taking the blame BUT saying you don't love me anymore , or you're not in love with me anymore is blunt and hurts . I know at nights when she's alone she has to be thinking of me and what we've had BUT she's probably pushing those feelings out and thinking of the new guy instead . I don't believe you just wake up one day and your heart n mind changes.PLUS her leaving the jewelery here leads me to believe it was pre planned . BIG time confusion here..
Kilty Posted June 20, 2011 Posted June 20, 2011 You have been given some good advice on the other thread you started basically giving the same story. What im about to tell you is not what you want to hear so sorry if it comes across as mean. Making assumptions and over analysing the relationship is something we all go through after a break up and it is never healthy. Nobody knows what is going on in this girls mind apart from her - for all you know your assumtions about her thinking about you when she is alone and the reasons she has walked away could be entirely wrong. Sometimes you have to look at the facts which are ; 1 - This girl up and left you without any explanations 2 - She has eventually said she doesnt love you anymore. These 2 facts are all that you should be concentrating on and not the reasons or otherwise behind them as hard as is. The jewellery will have been left behind as this is something personal that you have given her. These items will be a reminder to her of you and that is why she left them. It is more than likely that there is someone else so the questions you have to ask yourself rather then obsessing about why she left are ; 1 - Why am i wasting time on someone who could do that to me. 2 - If there is someone else why the hell am i making excuses for her - she has went with someone else so i'm never taking her back. Your thoughts about the implications of No Contact are completely wrong and the opposite applies. Contacting this girl will only make things worse between you - she has already said she doesnt love you anymore so accept that. The only contact you consider responding to if she reaches out to you is "I have made a mistake, im sorry and i want to explain/get back together. Then you take it from there. Meantime you wash your hands of this girl and man up. You deserved better.
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