ilovedhim Posted June 20, 2011 Posted June 20, 2011 Does this everlasting love really exist? How important is it to constantly be in search of this dream? Are we just wasting away our lives when we could be enjoying different people, experiences? Maybe it does make more sense to have many special people in your life instead of just focusing on the search for THE ONE.
OhMittens Posted June 20, 2011 Posted June 20, 2011 You should look for something that is everlasting. You shouldn't settle for anything that you will not be happy with.
tigressA Posted June 20, 2011 Posted June 20, 2011 It's only as important as you want it to be, like most everything else in life.
OhMittens Posted June 20, 2011 Posted June 20, 2011 No one can make you happy ALL the time. Therefore, you may have a hard time finding someone. Where did I say happy all the time? It should just be someone you are comfortable and happy being with. But you shouldn't settle for something just because it is there. You should be able to be happy with yourself before you get into a relationship, because it is not your partners job to try and make you happy.
OhMittens Posted June 20, 2011 Posted June 20, 2011 I don't know if there's a such thing as love. Well it does exist. It's not the only thing important in a relationship though, as love is not always enough. I just ended a 4.5 year relationship where the love and caring were there, but we were just not compatable. Just because you love someone doesn't mean you can be happy living a life together.
youngskywalker Posted June 20, 2011 Posted June 20, 2011 Thought about the same thing many times. I love my current g/f. She is the best thing that has ever come along. But, I can't say I'm madly and sickly in love with her. I still have my own life and my own thoughts. That's bothered me because I thought when love came around it would be the deepest, most captivating feeling in the world. I've experience that feeling but it was only in the context of women who have dumped me or I couldn't have. My take on the whole issue is love is something that is lifelong. It's being committed to someone through the ups and downs. Passions and feelings come and go but if you're committed with someone who is also committed it will work out with no regrets. I hope so anyway. But to answer your question. I think it's unhealthy to any relationship not to have your own life as far as hobbies, interests and non-sexual friends. Look at it this way... your lover is there to fulfill "love" in your life. Don't expect them to fill any other voids you have.
Finch Posted June 20, 2011 Posted June 20, 2011 There's nothing wrong with preferring to date and meet new people rather than searching for 'the one'. Whether there is just one person out there for each of us....I don't think so. I do believe that there is such as thing as compatibility though. I also think relationships are work. You have to put time and effort into long term relationships. For me the effort is worth it. I think it's a lot to ask to feel in love-love-love all the time with someone. It's exhausting! I think feelings of love can wax and wane; that the intensity of in-love feelings changes daily/weekly/monthly in a relationship. Ultimately I think Mittens hit the nail on the head - you need to be happy with yourself in order to be happy in a relationship. When both people are secure and could be just as content being single as being together, you've got a good chance at having a strong and fulfilling relationship. If you are strong and happy on your own then you have positive qualities to bring to the table. When that happens being with someone is the icing on the cake.
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