Dazed_&_Confused Posted April 19, 2004 Posted April 19, 2004 Ok I need some input from a seemingly unbiased group so here I am. I have just started getting romantically involved with a friend of mine who I have known for 6 years (2 of high school and 4 of college). We are in a long distance relationship - about an 8 hour drive. I see her once a month at best. We talk on the phone or use instant messaging/email. Here's the problem: I feel like if I never called, emailed, or IM'ed her again I'd never hear from her. It's like I'm the only one pursuing this relationship. However, whenever we are together we are all over each other, and it would seem that we are perfect for each other. She told me from the start that she was not ready for a committed relationship - not because she wants to date other people, but because she cannot give enough of her time (in her opinion). She shows me how she cares for me when we are together (in person), but when we are apart I cannot feel that. I just don't know how to feel, or what to do. It's really eating me up because I love her so much. I don't know where I stand in her life.
bluechocolate Posted April 20, 2004 Posted April 20, 2004 I think you should tell her almost exactly what you've written here. Also, if she's told you she's not interested in a committment maybe this is her way of keeping to that. Or it could just be that she figures that you call/email/IM her all the time there's no need for her to do the same. Either way, I think you should tell her how you feel and then decide how to proceed. Of course she may tell you something that you don't want to hear, but that's always a risk when you're honest about your feelings.
Arabess Posted April 20, 2004 Posted April 20, 2004 I agree with Blue..... you won't know until you ask. Some people aren't as communicative as others.....but it's rare for someone to take little or no initiative if they are truly interested in someone else. Even though, she was honest in saying she did not want a committed relationship at this point of her life. It's not her fault if you want more out of it than she has agreed to. Maybe you should back off a little and see if she makes any effort. It's in her effort or lack of it....as to where your answer is.
merie Posted June 6, 2004 Posted June 6, 2004 Originally posted by Arabess I agree with Blue..... you won't know until you ask. Some people aren't as communicative as others.....but it's rare for someone to take little or no initiative if they are truly interested in someone else. Even though, she was honest in saying she did not want a committed relationship at this point of her life. It's not her fault if you want more out of it than she has agreed to. Maybe you should back off a little and see if she makes any effort. It's in her effort or lack of it....as to where your answer is. i i am kind of in the same situation as you are in me and my b/f are long distance i gotta take a plane to see him and its like i do most of the emailing and calling and he does too but after i do it first and i do get really upset about it cuz it makes u feel like that person dont love or care for you as much as u do them but i understand cuz my b/f is really busy at work and i understand that he has this big project he has to represent in front of his boss but i suggest that you just have to call her one nite or if u cant get through to her by phone write down everything u want to say to her on paper frist read over it and check and make sure thats everything u need to say to her about how u feel about all this and if she sees u two moving along in ur relationship and that u understnad that shes busy and stuff at work but that ur busy too but u do make some time to call her or email her and u need to know whats going on now before u get even more hurt i hope i helped u and i hope everything works out for you =)
DerangedAngel Posted June 6, 2004 Posted June 6, 2004 Please use some kind of punctuation. Otherwise, it's kind of hard to follow your posts. -DA
Recommended Posts