Rinas Posted June 20, 2011 Posted June 20, 2011 If you feel that your girlfriend is below you, and that you're way out of her league, then let her move on. She can find a man who believes otherwise. Heaven forbid you take a second look at yourself and see your own flaws.
Author TheCoolest Posted June 20, 2011 Author Posted June 20, 2011 You said you're a satanist?? I do think you'll have a problem with a catholic girl long term. Do you know what a satanist is? If not i suggest you use google.
neowulf Posted June 21, 2011 Posted June 21, 2011 So.. what's "perfect" about your girlfriend? She's not smart enough, pretty enough, or strong enough for your tastes? Doesn't seem complicated to me. Leave her? Besides, as you said, you're a great catch right? Shouldn't be a problem to go get another one. On the other hand, maybe it's nice having someone to push around, dump on and generally look down on? Why do the noble thing and let her go gently, when you can keep stringing her along till something better comes along? But you're a smart guy. I figure you've already considered all this. Seems cut and dry to me champ. Go to it.
Author TheCoolest Posted June 21, 2011 Author Posted June 21, 2011 So.. what's "perfect" about your girlfriend? She's not smart enough, pretty enough, or strong enough for your tastes? Doesn't seem complicated to me. Leave her? Besides, as you said, you're a great catch right? Shouldn't be a problem to go get another one. On the other hand, maybe it's nice having someone to push around, dump on and generally look down on? Why do the noble thing and let her go gently, when you can keep stringing her along till something better comes along? But you're a smart guy. I figure you've already considered all this. Seems cut and dry to me champ. Go to it. Did I ever say she wasn't pretty enough? No. Did i ever say she wasn't smart enough? No. I simply said her intelligence level wasn't as high as mine. And the only problem i see with that is she doesn't like some of the things that i do. I don't push woman around and i certainly don't look down on her. Maybe you shouldn't be so quick to jump to conclusions.
Eddie Edirol Posted June 21, 2011 Posted June 21, 2011 Did I ever say she wasn't pretty enough? No. Did i ever say she wasn't smart enough? No. I simply said her intelligence level wasn't as high as mine. And the only problem i see with that is she doesn't like some of the things that i do. I don't push woman around and i certainly don't look down on her. Maybe you shouldn't be so quick to jump to conclusions. After reading your original post, she really has to live life to develop a backbone and learn more to be more educated. Its not really flaws, but just incompatibilities with you. Just basing on the looks part, what you need to do is be with a woman who would be pretty enough so that you wouldnt feel the need to compare her to other women. You will feel that for the rest of the relationship if you stay with her. if these things about her bug you, they will continue to, so yeah, you def have to move on from her.
neowulf Posted June 21, 2011 Posted June 21, 2011 (edited) Ok, so you post "My GF has 4 flaws".. which wouldn't be flaws if they didn't bother you right? Then you proceed to highlight said flaws; 1. ...But i can't help but feel that maybe thats the only reason she cares for me so much. Fair comment, but ultimately more about your own insecurity about the relationship than her inexperience. It's more about trusting that she actually does have real feelings for you. 2. Her looks. She is very pretty but i am out of her league. ... And sometimes i do find myself wishing she looked like some prettier woman. Funny, it sure sounds like she isn't pretty enough for you? 3. She isn't a very strong woman. ... Basically she is spineless and pretty much totally submissive to me. Again, you'll forgive me for thinking she's not strong enough for you? 4. She isn't as intelligent as me. Just being honest here. I am really smart (just saying) and she isn't. Yeah, this pretty much *is* text book "looking down" on someone. As clever as you are, I'm sure there are skills or knowledge that your GF possesses that you do not. ... Did I ever say she wasn't pretty enough? No. Did i ever say she wasn't smart enough? No. I simply said her intelligence level wasn't as high as mine. And the only problem i see with that is she doesn't like some of the things that i do. I don't push woman around and i certainly don't look down on her. Maybe you shouldn't be so quick to jump to conclusions. Hey, I can only go off what you've written. You're right. I don't know you. I read what you wrote and drew some conclusions from it. See my comments above as to why I drew those conclusions. Not sure what you're chasing here. If she's not what you want, then let her go? She's not going to change into the person you want. Let her find someone who'll love her for who and what she is. A bunch of strangers on the internet aren't going to make those things that bother you about her any less annoying to you. It is *ok* that she isn't what you want. What's not ok is dragging it out and hurting her more in the process. Edited June 21, 2011 by neowulf
Mme. Chaucer Posted June 21, 2011 Posted June 21, 2011 Do you know what a satanist is? If not i suggest you use google. Do YOU know what a Satanist is? A person who worships Satan (or, in some Satanic circles, a person with "a favorable view" of Satan). And Satanists would capitalize the word Satanist. Furthermore, a Satanist and a Catholic will probably have some incompatibilities! Hello! Beyond that, I find it offensive that you judge yourself to be "out of her league." Stating that did not paint you in a very favorable light, Coolest. Actually, it makes you come off as decidedly uncool. As does your assurance that you are much more intelligent than she is. Those things are not "flaws" in her. They are judgements of yours. I do believe that your concern about her backing down too easily is a valid one. Anyway, the young lady would certainly be much better off with a boyfriend who was not feeling superior to her. And probably one who did not revere Old Nick. Let her go find the right guy!
Author TheCoolest Posted June 21, 2011 Author Posted June 21, 2011 Do YOU know what a Satanist is? A person who worships Satan (or, in some Satanic circles, a person with "a favorable view" of Satan). And Satanists would capitalize the word Satanist. Furthermore, a Satanist and a Catholic will probably have some incompatibilities! Hello! Beyond that, I find it offensive that you judge yourself to be "out of her league." Stating that did not paint you in a very favorable light, Coolest. Actually, it makes you come off as decidedly uncool. As does your assurance that you are much more intelligent than she is. Those things are not "flaws" in her. They are judgements of yours. I do believe that your concern about her backing down too easily is a valid one. Anyway, the young lady would certainly be much better off with a boyfriend who was not feeling superior to her. And probably one who did not revere Old Nick. Let her go find the right guy! Someone didn't use google. No that isn't what a satanist is. A satanist is someone who doesn't believe in a christian god. Or god at all for that matter. Most satanists think that satan doesn't exist. So how would they worship him?
Author TheCoolest Posted June 21, 2011 Author Posted June 21, 2011 Ok, so you post "My GF has 4 flaws".. which wouldn't be flaws if they didn't bother you right? Then you proceed to highlight said flaws; Fair comment, but ultimately more about your own insecurity about the relationship than her inexperience. It's more about trusting that she actually does have real feelings for you. Funny, it sure sounds like she isn't pretty enough for you? Again, you'll forgive me for thinking she's not strong enough for you? Yeah, this pretty much *is* text book "looking down" on someone. As clever as you are, I'm sure there are skills or knowledge that your GF possesses that you do not. ... Hey, I can only go off what you've written. You're right. I don't know you. I read what you wrote and drew some conclusions from it. See my comments above as to why I drew those conclusions. Not sure what you're chasing here. If she's not what you want, then let her go? She's not going to change into the person you want. Let her find someone who'll love her for who and what she is. A bunch of strangers on the internet aren't going to make those things that bother you about her any less annoying to you. It is *ok* that she isn't what you want. What's not ok is dragging it out and hurting her more in the process. Stating that she is not as good looking as me (from a fitness standpoint btw) is not saying that she isn't pretty enough. Saying that i am smarter then her (which i am) Is not looking down on her. I don't judge people based solely on intelligence and i sure don't look down on people who aren't as smart as me. And i never said she wasn't strong enough for me.
Rinnix Posted June 21, 2011 Posted June 21, 2011 You don't think she's as good looking as you - move on. You think you're smarter then her - move on. You'll never be happy, seeing as these aren't just 4 little flaws.
oaks Posted June 21, 2011 Posted June 21, 2011 Someone didn't use google. No that isn't what a satanist is. A satanist is someone who doesn't believe in a christian god. That's a non-conformist. (That's arguably a historical term, but I'm sure it wasn't replaced with "satanist"!) Or god at all for that matter. That's usually an athiest. Most satanists think that satan doesn't exist. So how would they worship him? I think we'd better agree on what a satanist is before worrying about their worshipping practices!
Andy_K Posted June 21, 2011 Posted June 21, 2011 Typically people who are Satanists mean this http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/LaVeyan_Satanism It's an adherence to principles of individualism, freedom, and standing up for ones self. It has nothing to do with Devil worshipping.
neowulf Posted June 21, 2011 Posted June 21, 2011 Stating that she is not as good looking as me (from a fitness standpoint btw) is not saying that she isn't pretty enough. Saying that i am smarter then her (which i am) Is not looking down on her. I don't judge people based solely on intelligence and i sure don't look down on people who aren't as smart as me. And i never said she wasn't strong enough for me. So.. explain again why you're posting in a relationship forum about your girlfriends flaws? Asking if their deal breakers? People in great relationships with people they're in love with don't generally show up asking other people if their partners are "Good enough" for them? What are you looking for exactly? Permission to think the things that bother you are reasonable?
GivenUp0083 Posted June 21, 2011 Posted June 21, 2011 My girlfriend only has four flaws that i can find. Its obvious that she loves me and i do love her. She will pretty much do anything for me without thinking twice. And i am the same for her. But she has these four flaws. Everyone has flaws. No one is perfect or normal, not even you.... 1. She is totally inexperienced. I was her first kiss and her first everything. She has had one boyfriend before me who dumped her after like a week and that was back in high school. She went to an all girls catholic school and is a devout catholic so that probably has something to do with it. Her parents never let her date and i was the first man she dated after high school. Its nice to know that i am her first everything. But i can't help but feel that maybe thats the only reason she cares for me so much. This is a pessimistic way to look at it. Maybe you should be looking at it as: she hasn't been ruined or burned by other guys so this allows her to have an open mind and open heart. Too many women have I been on dates with who were just soooo spoiled by men in the past it showed all too much in our date. I don't want to be with someone who has a chip on their shoulder from past men treating them poorly. This girl seems nice and she seems to appreciate you....what's wrong with that? 2. Her looks. She is very pretty but i am out of her league. Its not really a problem to me but my friends have made comments. And sometimes i do find myself wishing she looked like some prettier woman. I'm sure you're no brad pitt either. Are you dating her because YOU like her or are you dating her so your FRIENDS will like her? If you are looking for arm candy, call an escort service. You must be fairly young, so here's a piece of wisdom: we're all gonna be ugly someday. 3. She isn't a very strong woman. This is really the biggest problem for me. I like a girl who will faux fight with me over the little things. Like not actually get angry but who i can have an actual debate with. A girl who will tell me no and boss me around a little. Don't get me wrong i am a dominate guy and i like submissive girls but i also like a girl who isn't afraid to get in my face. She is the total opposite. She will pick some fights about stupid stuff but most of the time she will never even have a debate with me. She isn't opinionated at all. Like for example if i tell her that a movie she is watching sucks she will say "okay which one do you want to watch" Basically she is spineless and pretty much totally submissive to me. This is a legit gripe. But that's her personality. If it really is something that bothers you, don't have the expectation it will change. Maybe talk to her about it and explain to her that it's ok to share your opinion and you like to debate. If that doesnt spark anything with her, then you should let her go. 4. She isn't as intelligent as me. Just being honest here. I am really smart (just saying) and she isn't. She isn't stupid or anything but i would say she is average or a bit below. She doesn't really like to read at all (although i think i am changing that) And i am an avid writer. She isn't really interested in academic stuff at all. She did well in school so i know she has the brainpower but its like she hates using her head. And she always calls herself stupid even though she isn't. So she has low self-esteem, has nothing to do with intelligence. I'd equate your hubris to be much more of a trait to go against your claim of intelligence than I would her lack of confidence. Do you think those things could stop us from having a great relationship? Or are they things i could just forget about in the longterm? I think your attitude and mindset will prevent YOU from having a great relationship. If you let her go now, there's still a chance she will find someone who appreciates her more than you do. LET HER GO.
eleanorhurting Posted June 21, 2011 Posted June 21, 2011 I would never want my BF to go on the internet saying I'm not as pretty or as smart as he is... I think she should find someone who thinks she is fabulous just as she is and you should find someone who is... whatever it is you are looking for.
Mme. Chaucer Posted June 21, 2011 Posted June 21, 2011 Someone didn't use google. No that isn't what a satanist is. A satanist is someone who doesn't believe in a christian god. Or god at all for that matter. Most satanists think that satan doesn't exist. So how would they worship him? I am well educated about religions; however, since you advise people to Google to learn about your religion, I'll copy the first sentence of the first result of my search: Satanism is a group of religions that is composed of a diverse number of ideological and philosophical beliefs and social phenomena. Their shared feature include symbolic association with, admiration for the character of, and even veneration of Satan You consider yourself a super smarty-pants; I wonder why YOU didn't Google "Satanism" yourself to see what other people are likely to encounter when they do the same at your urging. Anyway, it's beside the point. You mentioned your religion and hers, so evidently that is important to you both - and I would predict a pretty serious conflict between Satanism (in whatever incarnation) and Catholicism if both members of a couple were practicing believers. If she ever gets confident enough to fight with you, this could well be a topic. Honestly, you sound very young, insecure and like a person who has a very narrow experience of the world so far. I suspect that you have no idea of the intelligence of those around you, including your girlfriend. Being with a guy who thinks he's "out of her league" and of lesser intelligence must be hell on her self esteem. She might blossom into a total goddess if she gets out from under that. Do both of you a favor. Break up with your girlfriend. She'll cry, but get over it quickly, especially when she meets someone who is mature enough not to think in "leagues" with regards to relationship. She's pretty, sounds like she's sweet and caring, and she is good in bed. Let her go find someone who'll be thrilled with all of that, and you go forth with your hotness and smarts and find your equal. Or, maybe grow your values a little more. Best.
Feelsgoodman Posted June 21, 2011 Posted June 21, 2011 2. Her looks. She is very pretty but i am out of her league. Its not really a problem to me but my friends have made comments. And sometimes i do find myself wishing she looked like some prettier woman. She is "very pretty" and yet you are out of her league and wish she was prettier still? For real??? You must be not only TheCoolest but also TheHandsomest if VERY PRETTY women are not in your league. Let's be totally honest here. Your girl is not very pretty. In fact, she's not pretty at all. She's kind of homely and you feel you can do better. However, you settled for her because she was easily available and you were either too lazy or to shy to pursue more attractive women. This is really the main issue for you, isn't it? All the others are just excuses to dump her.
Mme. Chaucer Posted June 21, 2011 Posted June 21, 2011 You must be not only TheCoolest but also TheHandsomest if VERY PRETTY women are not in your league. I KNOW!!! My imagination is running wild! Do you think you could please share a picture, OP?
Author TheCoolest Posted June 22, 2011 Author Posted June 22, 2011 I am well educated about religions; however, since you advise people to Google to learn about your religion, I'll copy the first sentence of the first result of my search: You consider yourself a super smarty-pants; I wonder why YOU didn't Google "Satanism" yourself to see what other people are likely to encounter when they do the same at your urging. Anyway, it's beside the point. You mentioned your religion and hers, so evidently that is important to you both - and I would predict a pretty serious conflict between Satanism (in whatever incarnation) and Catholicism if both members of a couple were practicing believers. If she ever gets confident enough to fight with you, this could well be a topic. Honestly, you sound very young, insecure and like a person who has a very narrow experience of the world so far. I suspect that you have no idea of the intelligence of those around you, including your girlfriend. Being with a guy who thinks he's "out of her league" and of lesser intelligence must be hell on her self esteem. She might blossom into a total goddess if she gets out from under that. Do both of you a favor. Break up with your girlfriend. She'll cry, but get over it quickly, especially when she meets someone who is mature enough not to think in "leagues" with regards to relationship. She's pretty, sounds like she's sweet and caring, and she is good in bed. Let her go find someone who'll be thrilled with all of that, and you go forth with your hotness and smarts and find your equal. Or, maybe grow your values a little more. Best. Usually when people google something they tend to read more then one result. At least I do. And again this isn't a pissing contest so great for you. She is "very pretty" and yet you are out of her league and wish she was prettier still? For real??? You must be not only TheCoolest but also TheHandsomest if VERY PRETTY women are not in your league. Let's be totally honest here. Your girl is not very pretty. In fact, she's not pretty at all. She's kind of homely and you feel you can do better. However, you settled for her because she was easily available and you were either too lazy or to shy to pursue more attractive women. This is really the main issue for you, isn't it? All the others are just excuses to dump her. Shes above average in the face. Below average in the body. Thats what i meant when i said i was out of her league. And no i'm not putting a picture of myself on a dating forum. I have nothing to prove to you or anyone else on this forum. And i really don't see how my looks have anything to do with the question. My perceived handsomeness is all that really matters here.
Recommended Posts