cybclimb Posted June 20, 2011 Posted June 20, 2011 So here's what happened: I have been dating this girl for about 2 months. We met at one of the dating sites and our first date was absolutely fantastic. When I told her that I want to get to know her more, she said "you will". We live about 2 miles from each other so its easy to see each other regularly 1-2 times a week: going to opera at the Kennedy Center, mt biking for 25 miles, going to bars/restaurants, checking in to a nice hotel, or just hanging out at my place or her place. During those times we slept together or made out several times. I thought everything was going well. She even told me that she likes me alot. Anyway last week after we went home from the hotel, we were middle of a mad make out session and I finally told her that I love her. She said that I don't know her that well for me to say that. So after I went home, I decided that I won't contact her for a week so she could digest what I said. Last friday I sent her a text, no response. I sent another one the next day, and even called her as I was locked out from my apt and my spare car keys are inside and I needed a ride to work - no response. So that late night I sent her a text saying that I know I freaked her out when I said that I love her. I asked her if she needed time to assess if she has feelings for me, or if she doesn't then tell me nevertheless, as I am not into headgames (we are both in our late 30s) and I am all ears for what she has to say. The next morning she sent me a text that she was busy that weekend (yeah right she was online at 7am at the dating site where we met), and that she enjoyed our time together but we are not in same page, same place relationship wise and notr ready to make a commitment. She also doesn't want to continue seeing each other again. My question is: How can she interpret that having feelings for her equates as having a committed relationship. I too is wary of a relationship, but it doesn't precludes me from loving her. I really like her and I want to win her back. Would she come back to me? What should I do? She won't talk to me or answer my text anymore. I have 3 women that I used to date before her that I started in contact again (I stopped seeing them when we started to date) and I am dating one of them this coming weekend. Should I just stop and explore my options with other girls. I can do this but I know in my heart I still long for her. Any thoughts on this is appreciated.
Banega100 Posted June 20, 2011 Posted June 20, 2011 she wont come back. But hey, you know what this proves ? that you CAN get girls. So instead of sitting here pining over her use that energy to meet as many girls as possible in real life and mix it up. You wont even be able to remember this girls eye colour when the next one comes along trust me. Do NOT contact her and ignore anything she sends to you. This fling is done. But you are going places !
jacksonBrown Posted June 20, 2011 Posted June 20, 2011 (edited) agreed leave her be man! maybe wait abit longer before you bust out the L word again with your new girl Edited June 20, 2011 by jacksonBrown
radiodarcy Posted June 20, 2011 Posted June 20, 2011 just stick to the latter and continue to explore other options. unfortunately when some people hear the "L" word they get panicked and start to feel trapped. my ex did the same thing when i told him i loved him and thought that meant i wanted a commitment too. when all i was trying to do was tell him how i felt. you mentioned you went to the kennedy center so i'm assuming you're in the washington d.c. area (unless there's another kennedy center that i'm not aware of) which is where i live. based on my own experience and what i've heard from other women - - the ration of women to men is extremely high out here (like 8 women for every man) sooo that means your chances of finding someone else you do click with are pretty darn good. so yeah - - don't sweat this other girl, there are plenty of other women out there who would be more than happy to give you the relationship you're looking for...
Author cybclimb Posted June 21, 2011 Author Posted June 21, 2011 Thanks for all your replies. I slept soundly last night knowing that its over and I have to move on. Funny thing is, when I checked my account in the dating site, I saw that she looked at my profile again. I'm like whoa! I thought you don't want to see me again, and yet you are checking me out again! Anyway, its her lost not mine. Yes I lived in DC/Balt area for 16 years, but moved late last year to Harrisburg, PA area to work in one of the big hospitals here. We went to DC so I could show her around town. I brought her to the Kennedy Center to watch the opera and so we can dress up for this grand date! I agree about the ratio between men and women in the DC area. No problem in meeting women here, especially that I work as an ICU nurse - plenty of female nurses around, lol!
radiodarcy Posted June 21, 2011 Posted June 21, 2011 I agree about the ratio between men and women in the DC area. No problem in meeting women here, especially that I work as an ICU nurse - plenty of female nurses around, lol! lol.. yep - - unless of course you are a woman trying to meet men. which is probably why i've given up on dating
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