oaks Posted June 23, 2011 Posted June 23, 2011 Whatever you do, don't let her register you on the birth certificate as the father. She can than walk away and leave you, and you'll be stuck with a lifetime of child support for a kid that isn't yours. Really? Surely a paternity test would resolve that fairly quickly, followed by filing charges for fraud.
Jynxx Posted June 23, 2011 Posted June 23, 2011 Really? Surely a paternity test would resolve that fairly quickly, followed by filing charges for fraud. Want to bet on that? Not sure about the thing in the US, but in most European countries you can't get a paternity test to relieve you of your financial duties if it's done after the child is more than a year old, which is obviously beyond ridiculous. GTFO op, women are biologically programmed to find someone to take care of her offspring, don't be that sucker.
oaks Posted June 23, 2011 Posted June 23, 2011 Want to bet on that? Not sure about the thing in the US, but in most European countries you can't get a paternity test to relieve you of your financial duties if it's done after the child is more than a year old, which is obviously beyond ridiculous. Didn't know that! Not especially something I want to take a bet on, so I hope I don't get into the situation where it matters. Good luck to the OP, I hope you know what you're doing.
Sugarkane Posted June 23, 2011 Posted June 23, 2011 She had the opportunity to be with you a year and a half ago, but she didn't want you. Now she's knocked up and is facing being a single mom, and suddenly she wants you. Isn't it obvious that she's only changed her mind because she's pregnant? She wants some chump to play daddy to her baby and support it financially, and you just happened to be available. You weren't good enough to father the baby, but you're good enough to pay for it. Whatever you do, don't let her register you on the birth certificate as the father. She can than walk away and leave you, and you'll be stuck with a lifetime of child support for a kid that isn't yours. I completely agree. If you want someone with heaps of baggage, go for it OP. Why didn't she want you, when she wasn't pregnant a year and a half ago?
OhMittens Posted June 23, 2011 Posted June 23, 2011 If I liked the person for who they were and I was sure they felt the same for me I would probably date. I would be more cautious though and really pay attention for signs that I was just going to be some sort of replacement.
Sugarkane Posted June 23, 2011 Posted June 23, 2011 What sane man would want someone who's pregnant with another man's child? Don't say you weren't warned. One of my co workers is exactly like this woman.
nothappyjan Posted June 23, 2011 Posted June 23, 2011 Ahhhh i finally get it, pregnant women have big boobies, am I right OP? :lmao::lmao::lmao:
Eeyore79 Posted June 23, 2011 Posted June 23, 2011 (edited) Really? Surely a paternity test would resolve that fairly quickly, followed by filing charges for fraud. If you put your name down on a child's birth certificate then you're legally considered to be its father. There's a time limit for you to change your mind or for the biological father to dispute your paternity (this period is as little as 30 days in some places); after that time limit expires you can't relinquish your paternity, and will have to pay child support if you split up with the mother. If you've willingly acted as the child's father for a long enough period the courts will often insist that you continue to do so, and at a later date they may refuse to accept DNA evidence that you're not actually the father. They consider whether you stand in the role of father, not whether you are the actual biological father. Here are some example cases: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paternity_fraud#Cases If you marry a woman with kids to someone else, you may be required to pay child support if you divorce, even if the kids aren't yours. There was one well known case where a man had to pay child support to the biological father of his ex's kids! http://www.detnews.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20060324/POLITICS/603240405/1022 For a single woman who got pregnant to a broke loser, the best possible scenario is if she can convince a decent, well paid man to sign the birth certificate, then dump him when it's too late for him to change his mind, and claim child support from him for the next couple of decades. So beware... Edited June 23, 2011 by Eeyore79
irc333 Posted June 23, 2011 Posted June 23, 2011 I saw a couple of single women on dating sites, actually showing off their belly or wearing something where exposing the "bump". I was wondering if they were trying to scare off men by doing that. Wow it's been awhile. Here's my hilarious dating situation I'm in ( keep the LOL's to a minimum): I met this girl a year and a half ago. We hooked up the night we met (no sex) but never met again after me trying to see her for about a month (she tells me now that at the time she wasn't ready for a relationship but also mentions in different convos she was on and off with this one guy, so that's most likely the real reason, and he was around at the time). Just recently saw her on POF, we started txting, facebooked, she deleted her POF account, we met and have been seeing each other ever since. We get along great, attracted to each other, talk everyday, hangout alot, took a beach trip with her and her kid, and are basically in a relationship without the titles. But here's the kicker... She is FIVE months pregnant. Woah right??!!!!! The father is out of the picture. They had been together 6 months but she said he was basically a loser with no job or drive to get one. She says he can be there for the birth if he wants but any chance of dating her is over. (I'm sure there is other things I don't know about behind the scenes... Ugh, women. Lol) I can totally see myself getting serious with her as time goes by and I learn more about her (and more info on the ex and new baby). Hell I'm even helping her pick out a name. (I'm thinking in my mind... Along comes me and shwooosh... New baby daddy. Lol) I obviously have everything she needs in a proper man. I know I'd make a great father/step father. But..... Should I? Would it be better to be doing all this AFTER the baby is born?? Crazy huh? To add a little more spice to the story, I started talking again to another girl I met online 5 months ago who I wanted VERY BAD and would make a great future girlfriend/wife. We started talking again before the other girl. Were just being casual kinda friends first but I can tell it will go somewhere this time if I pursue it. We haven't met again yet but have tried a few times but plans got interrupted but it's gunna happen at some point. On top of all that my buddies hooked me up with another girl though all we do is txt and I'm doing it more as an obligation to them be she also has potential. And she is pursuing me to meet. Ugh!!! what should I do? Hell all three would make good partners. And I have had no intention of multi-dating it's just fallen in my lap. I need to pick one. The most put together and ready girl is the 5month ago one. The prego one is working hard to get there eventually too. And the third one I just haven't even met yet. What would you guys do? I really like the first two so I'm leaning to one of them but I also don't want to Hurt anyone.
SmileFace Posted June 23, 2011 Posted June 23, 2011 I saw a couple of single women on dating sites, actually showing off their belly or wearing something where exposing the "bump". I was wondering if they were trying to scare off men by doing that. I was making my way into this thread to say the same thing. I have always noticed pregnant girls on dating sites. Well I guess guys actually go for them. Good luck op.
Sugarkane Posted June 24, 2011 Posted June 24, 2011 I really don't understand what you like about this woman OP. She sure didn't waste any time finding another bloke [you] did she? Do you like her just because she's an easy lay?
Author Von Posted June 24, 2011 Author Posted June 24, 2011 If I liked the person for who they were and I was sure they felt the same for me I would probably date. I would be more cautious though and really pay attention for signs that I was just going to be some sort of replacement. Exactly what I'm doing. And no people I'm not going to put my name on the birth certificate. Cmon I'm not stupid I know what I'm doing. Right now everything is casual were not serious yet. And yes she has big boobies lol. The big thing is, she treats me good and she's fun and we get along so what's the problem? I'm not committed here yet. Like I said we talked about these issues and everything is cool. Oh ya and to answer why now and not a year and a half ago, like I said she wasn't ready then, she wasn't necessarily looking to date now either but meeting me again changed her mind. I'm not assuming here, she said so herself. At this point the baby is a seperate issue from us. Trust me, I've been treated Very poorly by unmarried single girls without any kids more often than I'd care to admit and I will gladly date a decent person with kids over that BS. Look at it another way, I'm 34, have never been married and no kids, so it's obvious I have been able to use my brain with all the women I've dated and have been able to avoid getting tied down into a bad situation. Give me some credit.
mo mo Posted June 24, 2011 Posted June 24, 2011 Oh ya and to answer why now and not a year and a half ago, like I said she wasn't ready then, she wasn't necessarily looking to date now either but meeting me again changed her mind. I'm not assuming here, she said so herself. Hahaha she has you in the pussy trap. She sealed the deal when she slept with you. She knows what she is doing.. Dude, you said yourself that she was seeing another guy when she told you she didn't want to date you way back when. Don't buy this "I wasn't ready" crap. Now, you find her on a dating site, and she tells you she wasn't looking to date. Let that sink in. Then stop thinking about the pussy and let it sink in some more. Finally, being single at 34 isn't necessarily something to be proud of. I mean, it's good you didn't get tied down earlier in life but still, that just means you have had a really hard time finding someone for whatever reason.
Author Von Posted June 24, 2011 Author Posted June 24, 2011 Ya, I'm super picky and only go after pregnant girls.... Hahahaha Because you know, her whole motive is to tie me down and make me a baby daddy and take care of her, that must be why she is going to school to get a career to take care of herself instead of just waiting around for the baby to pop and make me her new man slave. Ya that's it. *rolleyes* lol
mo mo Posted June 25, 2011 Posted June 25, 2011 Ya, I'm super picky and only go after pregnant girls.... Hahahaha Because you know, her whole motive is to tie me down and make me a baby daddy and take care of her, that must be why she is going to school to get a career to take care of herself instead of just waiting around for the baby to pop and make me her new man slave. Ya that's it. *rolleyes* lol I clearly told you to get out of the pussy trap while u read my post, didn't I? Look, all I can say is that it is better for you to trust the judgment of people who aren't in the pussy trap you put yourself into. Pussy clouds judgment. I almost had a girl who had no ambition, no high school diploma, and very little class move in with me 5 years ago. Would that have been a horrible decision? Hell yea. Was the pussy so good I overlooked things? HELL YEA
in_absentia Posted June 25, 2011 Posted June 25, 2011 I was making my way into this thread to say the same thing. I have always noticed pregnant girls on dating sites. Well I guess guys actually go for them. Good luck op. Maybe it's the opportunity to play daddy and see what it feels like before actually committing to a girl and settling down, without any responsibility. Maybe it's an instinctual urge to take care of what they see as this poor, knocked up girl who needs someone to lean on and help. Lots of men have a fetish for pregnant women and may want to do filthy things to someone pregnant that they wouldn't necessarily do with their partners if they ever got a girl pregnant themselves. So I can see guys going for a pregnant girl in order to fulfil this fantasy. As for the women, I guess it makes sense to be totally upfront about the pregnancy, as it's gonna come out if they ever speak to or see someone who gets in touch with them!
TheLawmaker Posted June 25, 2011 Posted June 25, 2011 There are two knocks against this: A.) I am not ready to be a father yet B.) I am not exactly thrilled to be a father to someone else's baby
Feelin Frisky Posted June 25, 2011 Posted June 25, 2011 I didn't read the OP but to answer the thread tiitle question, hell no. My friend did that and I wan't to smack him up side the head.
Engadget Posted June 25, 2011 Posted June 25, 2011 Pregnant women are hot, BUT women who have kids with another guy are a disaster waiting to happen.
Preggers2011 Posted June 25, 2011 Posted June 25, 2011 Wow. Interesting thread. Ha! And yes, lots of LOLs for sure. OK, here I am, pregnant and going to give you advice from this side of the equation. Frist: NO, I am NOT here to find a date, nor am I here about wanting to date while I am pregnant. I joined because of the ex and getting advice on the No Contact with him since my situation is quite not as easy give the fact that I am pregnant. About me: I have been divorced for 6 years and I have one child already. I chose not to date for years as I only wanted to focus on mysefl, my child, our home, my career and all of the things I always wanted to do. I had plenty of male friends, but that's where they ended up....in the friend zone. Yes, some pursued me heavily, but again, I REALLY was not ready nor was I wanting to date, even though many of them are great catch. In fact, I am still friends with all of them and some have even gotten married. So last year I finally decided to give dating a try and just get back out there again. Not partying or anything like that, I have too many responsibilities to be doing that and I am also not interested in that lifestyle. I consider myself well educated, conservative and with a good head on my shoulder. I met my ex and we dated for seven months. Things just didn't work out between us, different life goals. Well, prior to breaking up I got pregnant. Yikes! Well, I am responsible and I do not believe in abortion. So here I am pregnant and solo. The ex has shown his true colors unfortunately. While everything about him seems so great on paper, it is obvious he is not the type to be committed, much less to a child. So I am taking care of all of this financially on my own. I have decided to no longer contact him as 1)I have no legal ties to him, 2)I need to heal and take care of myself for kid's sake. It has been very hard, but considering our relationship was only seven months, I am going to be ok and make it to the other side soon...I hope! Well, I have had two guy friends, whom I have known for a while already and both guys are good stand up guys. I am now being pursued again! And yes, everyone knows I am pregnant and single. Let me tell you: First, I am not dating any of them... as in the type of dating like I did with my ex. I certainly do not mind hanging out as friends, but I can't allow myself to go there as I have too much on my plate. I find it SOOOO BIZARRE at times that man actually would go out with a pregnant woman. I am not trying to knock myself down or anything, it is just that I never imagined a good man would want to do that. Like others have said, too risky with you just never know what you will be dealing with, especially the exes, and to top it off, the children come FIRST! That's a given! Also: I have one big rule I do not break...No man comes around my kid or home, period. It is my responsibility to make sure I create a safe home for my child and I do not need a revolving door, even if they are in the friend zone. Only a couple, but even then, they do not come to my home...they are genuinely good guy friends of mine that truly care for me like a little sister. And my family trusts them. But other than that, no way in hell will you come near my child/home unless this were VERY serious (engagement). So Von- I really can't judge your entire situation as I do not know her. But sounds like with her first child, she has been a good mom. Like all of us on here, she has clearly made her mistake. I hope she has learned and I hope she is able to separate your relationship with her and that of the baby's. I can only imagine at times how she must feel. And I hope she is thankful that you are even there to support her. Does she aknowledge this? If you are there for the birth....not to sound rude, but try not to be in pictures, LOL....I say this because if you two break up...I would hate for her to have to explain who the guy is in the pictures if not her dad!!!!! Think about that one
Jynxx Posted June 25, 2011 Posted June 25, 2011 Ya, I'm super picky and only go after pregnant girls.... Hahahaha Because you know, her whole motive is to tie me down and make me a baby daddy and take care of her, that must be why she is going to school to get a career to take care of herself instead of just waiting around for the baby to pop and make me her new man slave. Ya that's it. *rolleyes* lol You asked for this forums opinions and everyone basically agreed that you are not making the smartest decision. Not saying that because alot more people disagree with your choice than agree with it that they are right and you are wrong, but you should consider that possibility. And there's really no need to make a mockery of everyone disagreeing with you, as frankly no one gives a **** and is gonna change their opinion because of it.
Author Von Posted June 25, 2011 Author Posted June 25, 2011 Wow. Interesting thread. Ha! And yes, lots of LOLs for sure. OK, here I am, pregnant and going to give you advice from this side of the equation. Frist: NO, I am NOT here to find a date, nor am I here about wanting to date while I am pregnant. I joined because of the ex and getting advice on the No Contact with him since my situation is quite not as easy give the fact that I am pregnant. About me: I have been divorced for 6 years and I have one child already. I chose not to date for years as I only wanted to focus on mysefl, my child, our home, my career and all of the things I always wanted to do. I had plenty of male friends, but that's where they ended up....in the friend zone. Yes, some pursued me heavily, but again, I REALLY was not ready nor was I wanting to date, even though many of them are great catch. In fact, I am still friends with all of them and some have even gotten married. So last year I finally decided to give dating a try and just get back out there again. Not partying or anything like that, I have too many responsibilities to be doing that and I am also not interested in that lifestyle. I consider myself well educated, conservative and with a good head on my shoulder. I met my ex and we dated for seven months. Things just didn't work out between us, different life goals. Well, prior to breaking up I got pregnant. Yikes! Well, I am responsible and I do not believe in abortion. So here I am pregnant and solo. The ex has shown his true colors unfortunately. While everything about him seems so great on paper, it is obvious he is not the type to be committed, much less to a child. So I am taking care of all of this financially on my own. I have decided to no longer contact him as 1)I have no legal ties to him, 2)I need to heal and take care of myself for kid's sake. It has been very hard, but considering our relationship was only seven months, I am going to be ok and make it to the other side soon...I hope! Well, I have had two guy friends, whom I have known for a while already and both guys are good stand up guys. I am now being pursued again! And yes, everyone knows I am pregnant and single. Let me tell you: First, I am not dating any of them... as in the type of dating like I did with my ex. I certainly do not mind hanging out as friends, but I can't allow myself to go there as I have too much on my plate. I find it SOOOO BIZARRE at times that man actually would go out with a pregnant woman. I am not trying to knock myself down or anything, it is just that I never imagined a good man would want to do that. Like others have said, too risky with you just never know what you will be dealing with, especially the exes, and to top it off, the children come FIRST! That's a given! Also: I have one big rule I do not break...No man comes around my kid or home, period. It is my responsibility to make sure I create a safe home for my child and I do not need a revolving door, even if they are in the friend zone. Only a couple, but even then, they do not come to my home...they are genuinely good guy friends of mine that truly care for me like a little sister. And my family trusts them. But other than that, no way in hell will you come near my child/home unless this were VERY serious (engagement). So Von- I really can't judge your entire situation as I do not know her. But sounds like with her first child, she has been a good mom. Like all of us on here, she has clearly made her mistake. I hope she has learned and I hope she is able to separate your relationship with her and that of the baby's. I can only imagine at times how she must feel. And I hope she is thankful that you are even there to support her. Does she aknowledge this? If you are there for the birth....not to sound rude, but try not to be in pictures, LOL....I say this because if you two break up...I would hate for her to have to explain who the guy is in the pictures if not her dad!!!!! Think about that one Well that makes alot of sense. It's certainly a common story. I know I'm getting alot of flak for what is going on between us, not just from you guys but also my friends. They think Im crazy for even considering this. But no one knows her like I do. She doesnt come across like she's using me. I'm pretty sure she has separated me from responsibility to her unborn child. Again I say I directly asked her these concerns and the answers didn't raise red flags of deceit. What would you do if you one of those guys going after you became let's say irresistible and you wanted to date them pregnant or not? And what if they didn't care your baby wasn't theirs? I have a good head on my shoulders too, I'm not going to be a fallback guy for any girl pregnant or not. When I told my best friend tonight my situation, she said although what I was doing wasn't wise, she knows I have the biggest heart of anyone shes ever met and if I am strong enough to have made it through the hell all my exes put me through, and if this girl is lucky enough to keep me around past the birth, I cannot only handle anything life throws me but this girl will be pretty dam lucky to catch me regardless of her situation. She told me I was "a gift from heaven". She's always amazed I haven't got married yet. I just think I haven't found the right girl that treats me good. And appreciates what I have to offer. Maybe, just maybe, everything will turn out ok and this will be the funniest story to tell people in the future about how I met a girl. At any rate it's too soon to tell what will happen when the time comes, but I have a feeling my gut instincts will guide me right like they always have in the past.
mo mo Posted June 25, 2011 Posted June 25, 2011 You asked for this forums opinions and everyone basically agreed that you are not making the smartest decision. Not saying that because alot more people disagree with your choice than agree with it that they are right and you are wrong, but you should consider that possibility. And there's really no need to make a mockery of everyone disagreeing with you, as frankly no one gives a **** and is gonna change their opinion because of it. It's futile. He's in the trap!!
Author Von Posted June 25, 2011 Author Posted June 25, 2011 It's futile. He's in the trap!! Oh c'mon get real. I'm in NO trap. I'm very aware of what is happening.
bac Posted June 25, 2011 Posted June 25, 2011 There is nothing wrong in dating anyone who you really like. If it feels right and makes you happy, you are lucky to find the right person. IMO (I am a female) it is hard to find the right person. Also, being pregnant is a temporary condition. There are too many wrong people available who are not pregnant and have no kids but it does not make them any special for us.
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