singlelife Posted June 20, 2011 Posted June 20, 2011 I have been seeing a girl and before we had sex we she wanted to cuddle every night for like 3 weeks. We did have sex but what is up with the cuddling. She practically begged me to stay every night to cuddle. My female friends say it is a more personal thing to cuddle. That she really liked me and is sizing me up as bf material. She wanted me at her house all the time so she could come home to cuddle. Even when she went out with her friends she wanted me to be there to cuddle when she got home. I thought it was weird. Again, my friends said she was always wanting me in her presence like a bf. Just trying to get perspective. Thanks.
Von Posted June 20, 2011 Posted June 20, 2011 Dude, cuddling is awesome. Practically everyone likes it. To women it's like kissing and hugs. It's a sign of affection. It means she likes you alot if she wants to cuddle that much. I'd certainly take it as a good thing. Some women just like it more than others. As a side note, you can use it as a compromise bartering tool. In a fun way though. Like "ok babe, no cuddling until you do my laundry and rub my back". (in a teasing way). I do that all the time it works wonders. I hold back on physical affections to get my way and have some fun. Try it. Remember to keep it light hearted though. You better have a dam good reason to cut her off in a serious way. Lol
Ginger Beer Posted June 20, 2011 Posted June 20, 2011 Yes cuddling is good, it's cute that she wants to do that. (I'm male but replying anyway.) I'm like that too, I love cuddles.
oaks Posted June 20, 2011 Posted June 20, 2011 I have been seeing a girl and before we had sex we she wanted to cuddle every night for like 3 weeks. I like her already. Cuddles FTW!
Author singlelife Posted June 20, 2011 Author Posted June 20, 2011 Wow. I back off a little bit because I wasn't really sure. SO I guess I need to get back on that. We texted the other day and we both shared how we miss each other. I know she is seeing another guy but my female friends say she is all into me like you guys are saying and not to worry too much. Wow guys really are sow huh lol.
O'Malley Posted June 20, 2011 Posted June 20, 2011 . I know she is seeing another guy but my female friends say she is all into me like you guys are saying and not to worry too much. Context matters. If she was genuinely into you, she wouldn't be seeing anyone else. Things would be progressing clearly. Do you actually go on dates, or are you just hanging out at your respective homes? You may have had sex with her, but she appears to be placing you into a back burner admirer category. Basically, you're providing her with relationship benefits (attention, affection, sex) without obligating her to be in an actual relationship with you. If the current status quo isn't working for you, you have to be the one to change how you respond to it.
quankanne Posted June 20, 2011 Posted June 20, 2011 ooh ... cuddling is good, very very good ... but I'm a tactile person. Some folks don't like the touching/cudding/snuggling thing because it invades their personal space. if you don't like being touched, don't hook up with a cuddler, because we take it personally if you don't respond in kind because then we think you really don't like us ...
youngskywalker Posted June 20, 2011 Posted June 20, 2011 (edited) My g/f likes to cuddle as I'm sure the vast majority do. I like it; it's good when I'm in the mood. I also like to make out and get it on. It took me about 4 months to figure this out (with her giving me hints) that she's very much turned on sexually by cuddling. She despises me when I make moves on her, grabbing and touching her. Those are the words she actually used when she told me that. I thought great! a sexless relationship.... but not so. I found if I just spend a little intimate cuddling, talking, holding, listening, laughing... the night always ends with sex. She gets to the point where the only thing she wants to do is me. Nothing can hold her back. She's like an animal. Perhaps that's the message she is trying to relay to you but you won't listen. Cuddling might just be her little place where she feels safe but I'm willing to bet it's also a form of foreplay to her. Try it and see what happens. I think you'll be surprised With my girl, if I want sex I simply have to hold her for about a half hour, maybe more. Eventually, the game is on and she lets me do whatever I want. Edited June 20, 2011 by youngskywalker
Author singlelife Posted June 20, 2011 Author Posted June 20, 2011 I'm ok with how it is. I do like her though and we are great friends as well. Just was wondering what it meant and how she feels.
Author singlelife Posted June 21, 2011 Author Posted June 21, 2011 So we texted yesterday and she had company but wanted to me to come over today after she gets off work. I told her I missed cuddling and she said she missed it a lot too. It's been a couple of weeks since we did so I hope that feeling hasn't left.
youngskywalker Posted June 21, 2011 Posted June 21, 2011 I told her I missed cuddling and she said she missed it a lot too. It's been a couple of weeks since we did so I hope that feeling hasn't left. The feeling will be there again as soon as you hold her. Open up to it and give her an evening of cuddling! 90% chance it ends up with the best sex you've had with her yet. You'll both be happy in the end.
Author singlelife Posted June 21, 2011 Author Posted June 21, 2011 The feeling will be there again as soon as you hold her. Open up to it and give her an evening of cuddling! 90% chance it ends up with the best sex you've had with her yet. You'll both be happy in the end. Sweet!!! I want to get that closeness back we had. It was awesome. Too bad us guys have to learn the hard way lol.
youngskywalker Posted June 21, 2011 Posted June 21, 2011 Sweet!!! I want to get that closeness back we had. It was awesome. Too bad us guys have to learn the hard way lol. No worries, like I said a few posts back, it took me several months to figure it out. Find out what makes your woman feel wonderful. Then just go with it! You are on the right track with this one. Give her affection and she'll be wanting you so bad by the end of the night you won't be able to control her. It's not seduction or manipulation... you're just meeting her needs and in turn she will meet yours. Let us know how it goes.
kiss_andmakeup Posted June 21, 2011 Posted June 21, 2011 Cuddling is great, whether it leads to sex or not. Actually, post-sex cuddling is my favorite. Something I love about my current guy is that he loves to lay around in bed after sex and cuddle, kiss, touch, talk, etc. Yum.
Finch Posted June 21, 2011 Posted June 21, 2011 The cuddling's not weird. The fact that she wants to go out with her friends but wants you to be at her house so she can cuddle when she gets home is weird. The fact that she's seeing another guy and you're acting as her cuddle-fix is weird. If you really like this girl you need to figure out not whether cuddling is a good thing or a bad thing, but whether she actually wants a relationship with you. Does she want a boyfriend or are you just a warm and breathing stuffed animal that she can call on at will?
Author singlelife Posted June 21, 2011 Author Posted June 21, 2011 The cuddling's not weird. The fact that she wants to go out with her friends but wants you to be at her house so she can cuddle when she gets home is weird. The fact that she's seeing another guy and you're acting as her cuddle-fix is weird. If you really like this girl you need to figure out not whether cuddling is a good thing or a bad thing, but whether she actually wants a relationship with you. Does she want a boyfriend or are you just a warm and breathing stuffed animal that she can call on at will? I thought that was weird also. Bu my female friends are saying she was testing me as bf material. Actually that's one of the reason's I stopped going besides not wanting a gf. No need for me to be all in somebody's house if they not there also. But I will address that today when we meet up. Not sure what her intentions on that were. Any lady's care to share?
in_absentia Posted June 21, 2011 Posted June 21, 2011 She's testing you as pushover material! Seriously, asking someone to wait around at their house repeatedly just so they can come home to cuddle is screwed, sounds like she has issues feeling lonely or something. And it looks to her like you have had nothing better to do than wait in for her :\ Not testing you for boyfriend material at all. As her boyfriend would you seriously be doing that?
rafallus Posted June 21, 2011 Posted June 21, 2011 Cuddling is very good if you can push things further. If not, you're friend zoned.
Author singlelife Posted June 21, 2011 Author Posted June 21, 2011 She's testing you as pushover material! Seriously, asking someone to wait around at their house repeatedly just so they can come home to cuddle is screwed, sounds like she has issues feeling lonely or something. And it looks to her like you have had nothing better to do than wait in for her :\ Not testing you for boyfriend material at all. As her boyfriend would you seriously be doing that? No I wouldn't. We had already had sex and I just wasn't thinking about it at that time.
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