Lilmisus Posted June 19, 2011 Posted June 19, 2011 Only three days ago, I met Mr. Cute Guy. The guy who is the manager at the restaurant my friend's boyfriend works at, and who told me I was "beautiful" when he asked for my name and number. Since then, he's been texting me pretty consistently. These past two mornings, I woke up to good morning texts from him, and each time, we've texted for a couple hours, with him just asking how I am, what I'm doing, etc etc. Last night, we ended the conversation with him saying that he would work around my schedule best he could so that we could have a date sometime this week. This morning, along with the good morning text, he told me that he managed to get two of the days I had off this week, off, and told me that he was willing to go around my schedule to go out. We agreed on Thursday (since I have plans Wednesday), and he asked me to just not bail on him. I told him I wouldn't, as long as he didn't bail on me, to which he replied "No I'm pretty excited to go to lunch with someone as beautiful as you." To which I told him he was corny, but I was looking forward to it too..and he said that he was just a corny guy. I don't know if it's just that I'm not used to guys treating me kindly and putting me first in planning dates and going about things or what, but I find myself pretty unsure about this guy. Maybe I'm just so used to a**holes to the point to where I can't even trust or appreciate nice guys. I just feel like, he's trying too hard, what with calling me beautiful twice now, and seemingly trying hard to work around my schedule, and always texting me cute little messages. From what I'm told by my friend's boyfriend though, he doesn't always ask for girl's numbers (after saying that, he said he's never done it as far as he knows), but he is the type to sleep with girls on the first date. He also threw in there that he is really into me, and my friend (his girlfriend) said she thinks that he sincerely wants to get to know me..so I dunno. So tell me people, am I going crazy, or do I just need to get used to being treated decently, something I have yet to really experience from a guy? Or, could this all be just a show (like my best friend suggested), and he's just trying hard to get laid, even though he knows I'm not like that? I want to just chill and not worry about it, but it's hard to not wonder what his motives are..I'm tired of a**holes and I would just love someone who's sincerely nice and into me (even though I'm not really looking for a relationship at the moment), ya know?
Cracker Jack Posted June 20, 2011 Posted June 20, 2011 (edited) Well, based on everything you've typed, he just sounds like a guy who's really interested and is trying to get to know you better. Could he be running game? Yes, that's possible. Could he be genuinely interested in getting to know you better. Also possible. I say just try to relax and enjoy things without thinking too deeply about everything. I'm sure it'll all go well. Edited June 20, 2011 by Cracker Jack
D-Lish Posted June 20, 2011 Posted June 20, 2011 I think you should be careful. The reference that he tends to sleep with a lot of people on the first date is a red flag- a pretty big one actually. Do you find he often says "the right thing" (The beautiful line comes to mind.) You said it was corny, but did it kinda make you feel good??? His charm seems to be working. If you meet and hit it off, don't engage in any physical contact at all. I'm reading player...
Nexus One Posted June 20, 2011 Posted June 20, 2011 (edited) I think you should be careful. The reference that he tends to sleep with a lot of people on the first date is a red flag- a pretty big one actually. Do you find he often says "the right thing" (The beautiful line comes to mind.) You said it was corny, but did it kinda make you feel good??? His charm seems to be working. If you meet and hit it off, don't engage in any physical contact at all. I'm reading player... I noticed several of those things too and I have another one. He texts/talks to you like he already knows you for a long time. There are a few types of people that do this, not all of them are bad though. It works in business, in sales and it works for players. It works because it is disarming. Don't get me wrong, some people who are naturally social animals can do it too and if you're not a very confident person or a shy person, then it might be a valuable skill you could learn in order to get a date. But this guy is known for having had previous dates and he's known for sleeping with them on the first date too, so I don't know. I'm not completely sure here, but it's a possibility that he's a player. He certainly has his game down in my opinion, because he already has you thinking he's not an @sshole and you don't even know him yet. You could give him a warning, in a subtle way only Southerners can: "If ya screw me over, I'll rip ya d*ck off." Edited June 20, 2011 by Nexus One
Author Lilmisus Posted June 20, 2011 Author Posted June 20, 2011 See, I agree with y'all that he seems like a player, but it's not even so much that he plays his cards right..it's just that he seems to be overly doing it. He doesn't always send sweet messages (actually, it's been one or two a day for the past three days), some of them are kind of well..just "real" where he just says it like it is, like he's not trying to impress more or anything, if that makes any sense. I would share our phone conversations, but my phone is ridiculous and doesn't save the messages I send, and deletes half of the ones I get after a while. Plus, one thing that made me wonder about whether or not he's looking to just get laid, is the fact that two nights ago, my friend and I drove by there (right after he asked me out to lunch via text btw), and I was more dressed up than I was when he saw me earlier that day. I told him I didn't know what we were doing after visiting them, kind of leaving it open for him to make plans if he wanted to, just to see what he'd say, and he said that he would invite me to his place, but since he doesn't know me, he's not about to do that. He told me later on that he just got home, and asked more questions about me. My friend's boyfriend was trying to make it to where we'd all go over to either of their places, but he didn't seem to be for that at all. Not sure if it's just a way to have me let my guard down, or what..I just know that it made me more confused than I was, since earlier, is when my friend's boyfriend mentioned him being willing to sleep on the first date. I just don't know...I want to let my guard down and just go with it..but I'm afraid of being made into a fool if I do.
D-Lish Posted June 20, 2011 Posted June 20, 2011 I noticed several of those things too and I have another one. He texts/talks to you like he already knows you for a long time. There are a few types of people that do this, not all of them are bad though. It works in business, in sales and it works for players. It works because it is disarming. Don't get me wrong, some people who are naturally social animals can do it too and if you're not a very confident person or a shy person, then it might be a valuable skill you could learn in order to get a date. But this guy is known for having had previous dates and he's known for sleeping with them on the first date too, so I don't know. I'm not completely sure here, but it's a possibility that he's a player. He certainly has his game down in my opinion, because he already has you thinking he's not an @sshole and you don't even know him yet. You could give him a warning, in a subtle way only Southerners can: "If ya screw me over, I'll rip ya d*ck off." He sounds like he's seasoned at telling women what they want to hear... That is probably what gets him sex on the first date. Just my take.
D-Lish Posted June 20, 2011 Posted June 20, 2011 See, I agree with y'all that he seems like a player, but it's not even so much that he plays his cards right..it's just that he seems to be overly doing it. He doesn't always send sweet messages (actually, it's been one or two a day for the past three days), some of them are kind of well..just "real" where he just says it like it is, like he's not trying to impress more or anything, if that makes any sense. I would share our phone conversations, but my phone is ridiculous and doesn't save the messages I send, and deletes half of the ones I get after a while. Plus, one thing that made me wonder about whether or not he's looking to just get laid, is the fact that two nights ago, my friend and I drove by there (right after he asked me out to lunch via text btw), and I was more dressed up than I was when he saw me earlier that day. I told him I didn't know what we were doing after visiting them, kind of leaving it open for him to make plans if he wanted to, just to see what he'd say, and he said that he would invite me to his place, but since he doesn't know me, he's not about to do that. He told me later on that he just got home, and asked more questions about me. My friend's boyfriend was trying to make it to where we'd all go over to either of their places, but he didn't seem to be for that at all. Not sure if it's just a way to have me let my guard down, or what..I just know that it made me more confused than I was, since earlier, is when my friend's boyfriend mentioned him being willing to sleep on the first date. I just don't know...I want to let my guard down and just go with it..but I'm afraid of being made into a fool if I do. That's why you don't be "that woman" that sleeps with him on the first date. You already have information from a reliable source that he actually does sleep with women asap. Just get to know him for a bit and don't sleep with him no matter what. If you're dressing up and cruising by his work fishing for invites, you're already showing him how interested you are. I think you are already hooked. My take is that he's a player. Single dude working in the bar industry... sleeps with a lot of women- just something to be aware of before you jump in head first with your eyes closed.
Author Lilmisus Posted June 20, 2011 Author Posted June 20, 2011 That's why you don't be "that woman" that sleeps with him on the first date. You already have information from a reliable source that he actually does sleep with women asap. Just get to know him for a bit and don't sleep with him no matter what. If you're dressing up and cruising by his work fishing for invites, you're already showing him how interested you are. I think you are already hooked. My take is that he's a player. Single dude working in the bar industry... sleeps with a lot of women- just something to be aware of before you jump in head first with your eyes closed. I wasn't driving by just to see him, and God, I really hope he doesn't think that. Especially since I told my friend and her boyfriend that I didn't want to go into his job because it made me feel weird to be there so many times already. They had to force me out of the car each time. Like I told him, my friend was asking me to take her to see her boyfriend (who was asking to see her too). Since we were just down the road from it, I told her sure. Her boyfriend asked him to come out and see me, and so he did, for like two minutes, than literally ran back inside. But I definitely feel ya. I think I'm going to just go out on a date maybe two with him, and decide from there what I want to do. I definitely wont sleep with him (he already knows I'm not like that, like I said...from what I gather, her boyfriend told him..and another dude..that I'm "good"), so no worries on that. And I might even give him forewarning if he tries anything that I need to be in a serious relationship before I have sex with someone, since that's the absolute truth. If that makes him peace out, then so be it..it will be the answer my question, if nothing else. Oh - and I'm not hooked interested..yes...hooked, definitely not
thatone Posted June 20, 2011 Posted June 20, 2011 My friend's boyfriend was trying to make it to where we'd all go over to either of their places, but he didn't seem to be for that at all. Not sure if it's just a way to have me let my guard down, or what..I just know that it made me more confused than I was, since earlier, is when my friend's boyfriend mentioned him being willing to sleep on the first date. how old are all of you? i'm guessing the guy may be a bit older? this is a kid thing of calling a big group of people hanging out together a dating or pre-dating. and for a man who knows what he's doing with women that's a pretty big turnoff, to be honest. i refuse such invitations too. i'm not going to 'date' a whole room full of people, nor do i need an audience when trying to gain favor with a woman. as the ever wise dos equis guy says...
Author Lilmisus Posted June 20, 2011 Author Posted June 20, 2011 how old are all of you? i'm guessing the guy may be a bit older? this is a kid thing of calling a big group of people hanging out together a dating or pre-dating. and for a man who knows what he's doing with women that's a pretty big turnoff, to be honest. i refuse such invitations too. i'm not going to 'date' a whole room full of people, nor do i need an audience when trying to gain favor with a woman. as the ever wise dos equis guy says... He's actually a couple months older than me, and I'm going to be 21 next month. Her boyfriend is 20 (only younger than me), and I'm not sure how old my friend is, she's still a teen. I never thought of it as "dating a whole room full of people" though
Art_Critic Posted June 20, 2011 Posted June 20, 2011 Yeah.. he is trying pretty hard.. but that isn't such a bad thing.. He is putting his best foot forward and has you high up in his priority list.. That is actually a good thing.
RovingReporter Posted June 20, 2011 Posted June 20, 2011 Don't worry sweetheart, i'm sure this one's different:laugh: Is that what you wanted to hear?
thatone Posted June 20, 2011 Posted June 20, 2011 He's actually a couple months older than me, and I'm going to be 21 next month. Her boyfriend is 20 (only younger than me), and I'm not sure how old my friend is, she's still a teen. I never thought of it as "dating a whole room full of people" though in that case you just found out something about him. he's very mature for his age, to refuse such invitations. he's smarter than most other 21 year olds, that's for sure.
Enchanted Girl Posted June 20, 2011 Posted June 20, 2011 You know, you can just try to get to know him and keep your pussy to yourself until you do. His niceness MIGHT actually be genuine and you can find that out without risking your body by delaying the physical part of the relationship until you get to know him. I thought my boyfriend was possibly a player too when I first met him, but he earned my trust as I got to know him. He's just a genuine nice guy.
Author Lilmisus Posted June 20, 2011 Author Posted June 20, 2011 I'm loving the different viewpoints. All input is appreciated! It's making me look at this and him in different ways, which is good! Two things to consider though, that I've been thinking about: 1.) He hasn't texted me again today. We were texting for a while this morning, until I told him I was on my way to work, but I'd talk to him sometime later. We sent a couple more messages back and forth, but he sent the last one. I decided to leave it that, mainly because I was driving. I'm thinking it's a good thing that he's calmed down on the texts for the day..just shows that a.) he's not extremely desperate, b.) not trying as hard, c.) he knows to be patient this time, and that I'll text him when I want to talk to him, and d.) that I'm not the only thing he's thinking about...already 2.) He apparently has a tattoo of a "sexy" woman on his chest. Like..nice sized tattoo..right in the middle. No idea what to make of this, or if it shows me anything that could be considered a "red flag" about him Thoughts? I seriously don't know what to think, so don't really have any viewpoint on it..just, unsure.
Kaplan Posted June 20, 2011 Posted June 20, 2011 I'm quite a pessimist when it comes to people, and as a guy I know how pervy guys are. But there's a couple reasons why I wouldn't say this guy is necessarily a player. For one thing, he works with someone from your inner circle. Knowing that, it would be pretty reckless of him to seduce you and then kick you out of bed. I mean, he'd be risking so much awkwardness and drama. Secondly, he asked for your number at the place he manages right? It takes a fairly slimy guy to go looking for chicks at the place he manages. Plus it's not very smart career-wise. So those are my thoughts, but you should always be skeptical with us males! At least until you get to know him.
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