Well my situation just got even more complicated.. BPD symptom ex, etc

[CFM]

I've made quite a few posts on here about my ongoing "relationship" with my once gf and now ex. Quick recap is that we were together 5 years.. LDR with me in the Army.. got out, lived together.. dealt with some PTSD/depression, led to break up and then my eventual return (4 months after) in attempts to reconcile.

 

She was no longer at the point where she wanted a relationship.. claims her life is too busy and that she enjoys the freedom of being single. Spent about a month begging and pleading basically trying to win her back. Horrible tactic, failed miserably. Ended up getting an apartment nearby and have been going back and fourth with NC. Very difficult considering she wants to be friends/claims she still loves me and wants to hang out regularly while she does her thing. I finally got so angry (found out she was kissing and seeing another guy/talking to him every night on facebook etc after I came back) and fed up with the mind **** that I decided to call it NC for good.

 

A week ago on Saturday morning I get a phone call from her. She told me her mom's in the hospital with pneumonia. I offer to do anything to help and leave it at that. Later that evening she calls me again and I can tell something's wrong. She starts crying and tells me they found something in the CT scan in her lung and it may be cancer. I immediately drove to her house because I could tell she was upset and needed someone. I took care of her all night and stayed with her. This basically continued throughout the week... I have an open schedule right now so basically I've spent the entire week in and out of the hospital, helping her and her mother out wherever I can. It was confirmed a few days ago that there is cancer in her lymph node and that she has at least stage 3A cancer. I was with my ex in the room when she found out and I have been doing my best to console her through all of this. It's been a very difficult week.

 

She recently also asked me if her mother and her could move into my apartment for a while. Long story, but they live at home with her father (yet the parents are separated) who is extremely difficult to live with in a pretty dirty house.. they need her somewhere clean and peaceful. I said sure, figuring that it wouldn't be more than a couple of weeks and obviously I want to help out. Well, since the diagnosis and their financial situation.. it looks more like it will be probably at least a few months, if not longer that they'd be wanting to stay.

 

Now my predicament is what the hell to do and how to act with my ex. I kind of fell back into boyfriend mode with all of this.. literally putting her and her mother before myself in just about every aspect. The messed up part to me is that my ex almost seems to expect it.. it's nothing out of the ordinary for me to be bending over backwards to help them out, yet most men (ex's especially) wouldn't be sitting in a hospital for 6-8 hours a day for a week straight for their ex's (especially one who has been treating me as poorly as she has for the last month) mother.

 

Honestly I felt like her and I would come back together through this. I thought she'd see what a great guy I am doing everything I have done and realize that especially now, we should give our relationship another shot. I know it's a huge blow to her with her mother being like this, and I'm trying to not make it about myself really. It just seems like we should be back together taking care of her mother and working on us.. instead of her living in my apartment, both of us taking care of her mother, and her chatting up other guys and expecting me to move on with new relationships.. how awkward is that;"I live with my ex and her mother in my apartment..". She just doesn't seem to get it though, what I'm sacrificing for her. I guess today when I saw her texting the guy she has this new thing with it really hit me. She actually plans to keep him in her life. He doesn't even know her mom, he hasn't been to the hospital.. hell, it's not even a REAL relationship.. yet she's rejecting me to continue this "single life" and be able to talk to him. I asked her "who was that?" when she was texting, thinking it was just another random girl friend offering their sympathy for her mother's condition, but her response was like a flash back to a few weeks ago. She gives me a look, says "none of your business".. sees me get annoyed then goes "I'm a free agent" and then makes a crack saying I can keep talking to girls too.. knowing full well that I wanted to just be with her again. I just can't fathom treating someone who does as much as I do for her with such disrespect and lack of concern. It felt like she just spitted in my face.

 

So I guess I'm stuck. I don't really know what to do. I want to help her mother out and be a good guy, but where should I draw the line? It's like huge favors turn into expectations and in the end I feel like I'm just going to be used and walked on.. worst part is she doesn't even see it for what it is. Do I just continue being the nice guy until this is over?