lalalandman Posted June 19, 2011 Posted June 19, 2011 When my 5 year ex broke up with me and said she never wanted to work it out, I went NC for 2 weeks. She then initiated contact and wanted to see me, but then I got the door slammed in my face after about a week. Then she started telling me all the reasons I'm basically no good. So I ask her to tell me in what ways I can be a better BF for future relationships. Somewhere in that conversation she mentions "Oh you'll just end up calling me next week." That was last Sunday. Here I am, wanting to contact her. Last night, I met a girl who was really into me. We all brought the after party to my place. She crawled into my bed, and after talking for a while, she basically began to tell me that throughout the night, she could tell I was a genuinely good caring and fun person. Things got steamy, and in the end, I told her I couldn't sleep with her. Now she and her friends want to come back here today to hang out with me and friends. I'm going to my family's place to hang out today, and I'm just in a weird place where I want to contact the ex, simply because I feel like she made an attempt to contact me after 2 weeks to work things out. But I guess not really? I feel like she wants me to make the next move, but then again our last conversation was like the initial where she doesn't want to work things out with me and why I'm no good and how she's so much happier without me. But I can't help but think she's bull****ting. Is NC the best idea or should I just foster some form of communication?
california15 Posted June 19, 2011 Posted June 19, 2011 I would not give into your ex's feeble attempts. I know its hard to resist the breadcrumbs because we think "oh my situation is different" or "They don't know my ex like I do" but damnit you deserve the whole damn cookie. Not breadcrumbs. Yes she made an attempt to contact you. To work things out? Ehhhhh I dont know if I'd go there. IMHO, if the ex doesn't explicitly say in black and white "I made a mistake. I want to fix this and I want to be with you" I wouldn't read into anything or respond to the breadcrumbs. NC my friend.
Author lalalandman Posted June 19, 2011 Author Posted June 19, 2011 Alright. Damn this sucks. NC takes so much willpower. Whoever thought doing nothing would be so difficult.
california15 Posted June 20, 2011 Posted June 20, 2011 I know right? But anything thats worth anything is going to take work. Just read the other threads of those who broke NC and regretted it. Thats what I do. And I tell myself other people are struggling with NC too, and if they can do it, then I can do it. One day at a time. You got this.
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