joan Posted June 19, 2011 Posted June 19, 2011 Hi there. I have been NC for seven months after my ex boyfriend ended our 4 year relationship. I used this forum to browse to help me cope when we split up as I was devastated. I took the advice of most posters here and adopted NC the week after we broke up. I heard he had a new girlfriend but my friends didn't think it was serious but they have told me he is still seeing her and it now seems to have got more serious. I was broken hearted when I found this out but stayed NC until yesterday. Something made me email him and I asked how he was. He didn't reply. I emailed him again late last night and asked him if he would like to meet up and go to see a show and then a drink to catch up (I must have been crazy but had been out and alcohol had something to do with it!) Anyway he replied and said yes! He told me he would love to go and asked me to sort out the tickets and decide where to go for a drink afterwards. I was expecting no reply or at the very worst a mean reply telling me not to contact him again. I know he's still with his new girlfriend. Should I go ahead with it? Do you think he may just be playing with me? I'm quite excited as the NC may have made him miss me and maybe he was just waiting for me to get in contact with him.
SlowBlues Posted June 19, 2011 Posted June 19, 2011 Stopped reading at "he has a new girlfriend". Don't put yourself through this. The most you're going to get out of this is him thinking you're going out as friends. I suggest not doing it but you have to make up your own mind about if you really want to put yourself through this. In the end it's up to you.
Author joan Posted June 20, 2011 Author Posted June 20, 2011 You're right SlowBlues. He probably just wants to be friends. Things have changed with me loads since we broke up. I've even met someone new though its early days and I'm not really sure if I want to get involved with him yet. Anyway thing is I really didn't expect a reply at all. Me meeting this new guy has made me realise that its not worth losing a friend because you feel hurt by them breaking up with you so I plan to meet up with my ex if only to see how he has been doing.
Fufu Posted June 20, 2011 Posted June 20, 2011 we have the same name Don't jump into the conclusion that he misses you and wants to reconnect with you because you won't know exactly what he is thinking. And I only have a question for you, "Are you sure you ready to meet him?" If he you still have strong feelings for him, my opinion is not to meet him. It probably will set you back and make you sad again.
Author joan Posted June 20, 2011 Author Posted June 20, 2011 You know I'm not sure how I will react when I see him. Only time will tell however I do feel as if I have moved on now. Though who knows Seeing someone again could make all the old feelings come flooding back then again it could just reinforce the fact that I have moved ob. I think it's important for me to go ahead with the meet up so I know in myself if I have moved on. If I haven't then NC again and this time for good. If I am fine then hooray! We could just be friends
iceweasel6 Posted June 21, 2011 Posted June 21, 2011 You know I'm not sure how I will react when I see him. Only time will tell however I do feel as if I have moved on now. Though who knows Seeing someone again could make all the old feelings come flooding back then again it could just reinforce the fact that I have moved ob. I think it's important for me to go ahead with the meet up so I know in myself if I have moved on. If I haven't then NC again and this time for good. If I am fine then hooray! We could just be friends I think you have the right idea. From a guy's perspective he's into you - it's obvious. He may be assuming your into him to. Whatever your feelings are after you see him - be direct and let him know. Don't be coy about it. If he's a secure guy he can deal and handle your direct approach. If you are less than transparent, your intentions may be shrouded in mystery which can lead to a poor startup the 2nd time around. If it's real, give the both of you a fighting chance. Take it slow, be transparent, and be you. All the best. The second time after growing, learning and maturing is always sweeter!
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