jandm05 Posted June 19, 2011 Posted June 19, 2011 well my boyfriend and i have been together for 6 years and it has been hard. he has an addiction problem and problems with abuse. we have both made much progress with all of our problems but i still find pills hidden in his shoes, his pockets and many other numerous places. i have tried to convince him to get professional help but he wont and it gets to the point where he is abusive. i love him so much and we have done so many great things together and i keep hoping and praying that it will get better. thats not all. in these years of our problems, his best friend has been close to me. he is like my best friend now and has helped me through this a lot. we fell in love three years ago. we never did anything sexual it was all talk. we connect on a whole new level that my boyfriend just doesnt get and it seems like since he started the pills he has changed and he doesnt even do things that he likes anymore... anyways.. his best friend and i made plans to run away together but i never got the guts to leave my boyfriend like that. because i didnt have the guts his best friend decided to get a girlfriend. they have been together for two years. we still speak of our feelings to eachother but we have had many arguments because he is mad at me for not leaving my boyf and even though i still think that his best friend is right for me its still hard to leave him. i just feel like i waited too long because now he wont leave her.he feels bad but thats why he stays with her. she knows that we have feelings for eachother and that it started before she came along so she hates me and hes not allowed to hang out anymore.i just dont know what to do or how to feel.
4you Posted June 20, 2011 Posted June 20, 2011 I'm surprised you've managed to stay with your boyfriend for even that long. All this time you haven't given up on him. What with the hidden pills and everything, you must have confronted him on numerous occasions already. And yet he's still the same? I've known people with alcohol addictions. In spite of all the support, all that help and intervention, they themselves need to take that step and quit. You mentioned making progress with him but hiding pills doesn't really sound like he's coping well at all. Do you feel cheated or let down? You've resisted his friend's approach in order to keep your relationship, yet he can't do the same by going clean? You seem to be putting in much more effort than him to keep things together. If you haven't made it clear enough, maybe it's time to tell him either the drugs or the relationship has to go. You can't wait around for your boyfriend forever, no more than his friend can wait for you.
Author jandm05 Posted June 20, 2011 Author Posted June 20, 2011 thank you very much. i said we have made progress because he was previously an alchoholic, i got him to quit and he switched one addiction for another. He has been on the pills for four years. it has been very difficult but i try to stay hopeful. i really love his best friend and i think he is right for me but like i said his girlfriend wont allow him around me and he doesnt want to hurt her. i just feel hopeless. i love my boyfriend but i know hes not right for me and he needs help.
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