redorchid Posted June 19, 2011 Posted June 19, 2011 I hope I can get some advice for those who have dealt with something like this before. My boyfriend is 21, but can act like a 12 year old. His passive aggressive behavior is killing me. We've been dating for 7 months. When he gets upset, he either becomes silent or hangs up the phone. When confronting me, he cries...a lot. Why does he get upset? Here are some reasons: - complains that I don't pay enough attention to him while on the phone with him - main one (I've constantly gone over this with him) - not having thing "his way" -- choosing his decisions - upset over tiny things: an argument other a TV show... (it doesn't even relate to us!) - upset over losing a game... =.= The thing is, he doesn't explain why he's upset before he hangs up the phone. Sometimes he won't even show or say that he is. I'll just be left on the line wondering "WTF?" I'm weak. I'm his first girlfriend. And he's my first more long-term boyfriend. Due to lack of experience, I always seem to feed his childish behaviors. I can't help but call or text him when he hangs up on me. I'm the one apologizing.... I've tried getting mad before, and all he does is get more angry and cry more... Male PMS? Controlling? Clingy? What is it? I like him a lot, but it's getting annoying. It's tiring... I'm not his mother. I'm not sure what to do... Will he grow up? Will he change? (sorry for the long post)
oaks Posted June 19, 2011 Posted June 19, 2011 Will he change? I've only been in one relationship with someone exhibiting passive aggressive personality disorder, and it didn't get better although she calmed down a bit when she was less depressed (not that I recognised that she was depressed at the time).
oaks Posted June 19, 2011 Posted June 19, 2011 Badly! Going along with it didn't work, calling her out on it didn't work, talking about it in a calm environment didn't work, ignoring it didn't work, and I wouldn't know the best way to deal with it if it happened again. We're not together any more.
Author redorchid Posted June 19, 2011 Author Posted June 19, 2011 That doesn't sound very good... Has anyone else had this sort of problem before?
musemaj11 Posted June 19, 2011 Posted June 19, 2011 Dealing with passive aggressiveness is easy. Its the same way as dealing with children. The more they cry, the more you refuse to give them the candy they want. That way they learn that crying doesnt work in getting what they want. 1
Art_Critic Posted June 20, 2011 Posted June 20, 2011 He cries ??... holy moly... Next time he pulls something on you then just walk away.. you hang up and don't initiate the next conversation.. Let him do it.
johan Posted June 20, 2011 Posted June 20, 2011 You actually like him? Do you respect him? He acts like that because his parents responded to that kind of behavior.
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