EgoJoe Posted June 19, 2011 Posted June 19, 2011 My breakup was a "second chance" from a short lived relationship in 05-06. I made all of the mistakes that you could and then gave up 5 months later we started talking again after she got ahold of me...now I don't necessarily believe that will happen again or want to think about or care. However, I was hanging out with my friend's fiance while I helped her do something and she ended up using my computer to check Facebook. Low and behold she had a message from a guy she dated in middle school, dumped and tried to get back with (he refused). She's getting married next month so it's proof of them coming back when you're A: In a better spot. B: Don't care or are commited C: Could give a **** less (making you more attractive) That was eight years ago. So, improve yourself get over what happened. Forgive but don't forget. Unless you were a complete loser who never had a dignified moment with your Ex. The tables will turn in some way shape or form. IT DOES NOT GUARANTEE RECONCILIATION but in this modern era we are all within arms reach of each other. Every dog has his day. (Sorry for the rhetoric I'm kind of laughing right now) 1
JasonRules Posted June 19, 2011 Posted June 19, 2011 My breakup was a "second chance" from a short lived relationship in 05-06. I made all of the mistakes that you could and then gave up 5 months later we started talking again after she got ahold of me...now I don't necessarily believe that will happen again or want to think about or care. However, I was hanging out with my friend's fiance while I helped her do something and she ended up using my computer to check Facebook. Low and behold she had a message from a guy she dated in middle school, dumped and tried to get back with (he refused). She's getting married next month so it's proof of them coming back when you're A: In a better spot. B: Don't care or are commited C: Could give a **** less (making you more attractive) That was eight years ago. So, improve yourself get over what happened. Forgive but don't forget. Unless you were a complete loser who never had a dignified moment with your Ex. The tables will turn in some way shape or form. IT DOES NOT GUARANTEE RECONCILIATION but in this modern era we are all within arms reach of each other. Every dog has his day. (Sorry for the rhetoric I'm kind of laughing right now) I don't have time now because I have to get ready for work, but I will relate a story that happened Thursday evening as it applies to what you said 100%. And you're right; every dog has its day...
loverboy1984 Posted June 19, 2011 Posted June 19, 2011 Looking forward to the day she comes back....so I can say thanks but no thanks.
archivist Posted June 20, 2011 Posted June 20, 2011 (edited) In my previous relationship a few years back. She broke up with me, cut me out to "see if she can live without me". I did no NC, kept my dignity and a few months down the line on the exact same day I met my current ex/gf for the first time she messaged me and wanted up to meet up to talk. She basically told me how she missed me and was sorry and wanted to try again. I almost went back to what was familiar and comforting but I told her no and continued to see the other girl. Best decision I ever made, even if things didn't work out then I can look back now and know I made the right decision. No regrets! Edited June 20, 2011 by archivist grammar
loverboy1984 Posted June 20, 2011 Posted June 20, 2011 My ex broke up with me back in March without any explanation, even though I confronted her about kissing a guy and thought that was the reason she did it. We went No contact for 3 months then I broke NC to get closure. During our 3 hour conversation she said breaking up with me was the hardest thing shes ever had to do but she thought we had the same arguements and could not get passed the previous hurts we caused each other. I havent caused her any hurt but she hurt me big time by breaking up with me before my board exam. She told me she still loves me but thats shes dating the guy she kissed and taking it slow. I think she has gigs. We have been together for 6yrs. I want her to come back to so I can say no thanks. could that be possible in my case?
coolheadal Posted June 20, 2011 Posted June 20, 2011 No commitment today! They can come and go as they please or do whatever they want and get away with it. Some one better has come along..
JasonRules Posted June 20, 2011 Posted June 20, 2011 Last Thursday I was out having sushi with this girl I've been dating for about a month now. She is 28, blonde, educated, manager at a bank, owns her car, has a condo, normal family, is sweet, affectionate etc. My ex ex happens to work directly across the street where we were eating. Now mind you this ex used me financially as we were living together and I was paying for everything to help her get out of debt (20K). After 1 year she had barely paid down 2,800 while clearing 34K per year. I was fuming, but I loved her and still didn't throw her out. Fast forward a month and she's starting to go out with her girlfriends and come home at 4am, 5am drunk as a skunk. One time she came home at 11AM the following day and 2 weeks later she left Saturday morning to go to work and didn't come home until Sunday at midnight which is when I threw her out. All this after making me renew our lease on a $1,650 dollar per month condo that I alone was paying for. Anyway, despite all these issues I still loved her and tried to make things work, but she was dead set on us breaking up. She moved out and I was heart broken. I was in a lot of pain (chasing her, sending her flowers etc) for the next 3-4 months, but eventually she got tired of me and told me in my face that she did not love me at all. At some point I accepted it and quit contacting her. I went from NC to LC after about a year and we would occasionally go out to dinner, but I would not contact her after at all. It was more of a "catch up" kind of deal. As time passed by, I realized I didn't feel anything for her anymore. She was having a lot of financial problems and her girlfriend whom she had moved in with was doing the same crap she was doing with me (karma is a biatch). Fast forward 3 years and I'm in a relationship with another woman and she starts sending me photos and texts very often out of the blue to my then girlfriends dismay. She keeps asking me to take her out to dinner or for a motorcycle ride. Eventually she admits that she always thought we would end up together (ie. married) and I said that we've been broken up over 3 years now and I don't feel the same anymore about her. She was having financial problems still so I helped her get a 2nd job to make extra cash on the side, but she had to eventually quit because she couldn't handle doing both jobs. She is now dating some guy who is in his early 30s and is a bartender with no education etc. She is in her early 30s as well and struggling to make ends meat. So back to my original story. I'm done eating sushi with my date and we get up to leave. My ex ex is waiting at the bus stop because she can't afford to have a car and here I am passing by with this younger blonde, secure, confident, financially stable, and all the other qualities a woman is looking for in a man and I didn't even bother to say "Hi" because I thought it would be awkward so I pretended I didn't see her. Do you think she's kicking herself in the as*? Here she is early 30s, dating a loser, and has nothing going for her in terms of stability, life, etc etc. My life has progressed so much more than hers. I remember looking at her before she left me and said "You do not have the ability to see it now since you do not appreciate me, but the a-holes you meet after me will make sure you appreciate what you took for granted". And in the end, I was right. My current ex is the same age as when my ex ex pulled the same crap. I told my current ex the exact same thing. Life is a wheel and it is constantly turning. We may be down now, but in time we will be up and have the last laugh. 1
JasonRules Posted June 20, 2011 Posted June 20, 2011 So the moral of the story is that (in my case) they always come back one way or another, but typically its to have a reconciliation, but in almost all cases by then I simply didn't care. Most will realize what they have lost between 6 months to 3-4 years after the fact. Typically, there is another guy involved and they experience gigs, but as time goes by they realize guy is an a-hole who treats them badly then they kick themselves in the as*. The same thing occurred with my ex-wife, ex ex ex girlfriend, ex ex girlfriend, so I am confident the same thing will occur with my current ex girlfriend.
wilsonx Posted June 20, 2011 Posted June 20, 2011 So the moral of the story is that (in my case) they always come back one way or another, but typically its to have a reconciliation, but in almost all cases by then I simply didn't care. Most will realize what they have lost between 6 months to 3-4 years after the fact. Typically, there is another guy involved and they experience gigs, but as time goes by they realize guy is an a-hole who treats them badly then they kick themselves in the as*. The same thing occurred with my ex-wife, ex ex ex girlfriend, ex ex girlfriend, so I am confident the same thing will occur with my current ex girlfriend. too little too late, i cant wait for the day my ex knocks on my door and I have someone that treats me better and much more attractive sitting there on the couch... Jason do they come back looking worse then when they left? I saw my ex just after 3 weeks and she looks like she got hit by a train everyday for the past 3 weeks
TheVSilent Posted June 20, 2011 Posted June 20, 2011 Well, I for one don't believe this is true. Short little description of what I'm going through and why I think that. I was a ******* to my girlfriend for awhile, and seen the error in my ways and was working on things to fix it. By the time I realized what I was doing, she mentally moved on from me and straight up told me I wasn't the one, she didn't ever want to talk to me again, all that jazz. Well, I went NC for 2 weeks, and would slip her a messege every now and then on Facebook (she unfriended me but didn't block me). It had been a month a couple of days ago, and I didn't stick to NC, wish I did now, but I sent her another messege asking if there was any hope of us ever talking again (I wanted closure, we never discussed things really, it was just over) and 10 minutes later, I was blocked. That is about as stone cold as you could be, and I feel she really doesn't ever want to talk to me again, I don't think she cares anymore and probably will never think a good memory of me again, so why would she want to contact me again? They don't always come back, everyone in my family says they do, my parents think that she has moved on to someone that was way nicer but thinks he is a rebound and that one day she will at least talk what happend out and not be so cold about it, but I just lost the hope yesterday when she blocked me. Kind of put me back to square one.
JasonRules Posted June 20, 2011 Posted June 20, 2011 too little too late, i cant wait for the day my ex knocks on my door and I have someone that treats me better and much more attractive sitting there on the couch... Jason do they come back looking worse then when they left? I saw my ex just after 3 weeks and she looks like she got hit by a train everyday for the past 3 weeks Yes they do actually. My ex spouse who was 4 years older than me now looks like an old woman, plus she's gained about 80lbs since we split up 7 years ago. My ex ex ex gained weight as well and I'm not attracted to her at all. The same applies to my ex ex. I don't know about my current ex as I have not seen her in 3 months and we've spoken once on the phone for an hour since then, but she's 28 now so looks will start to fade as she approaches 30. I on the other hand have had the following happen: When I was with my ex ex I was flabby and weighed 225lbs at 6'3". I dropped to 185lbs in less than a year while I was dating my current ex. Since my ex and I ended it in March I have been hitting the gym like a maniac 2 hours almost everyday. I'm now 198lbs with 7% body fat and a six-pack. Not back for a 40 year old guy. Most people think I'm 30-32 years old. Because of the extra work in the gym women have taken notice. I have plenty of prospective dates and/or possibilities and can honestly say I've become a hot commodity. My confidence which was trashed by my ex some months ago has gone through the roof and am slowly gaining my life back. So my advice to the guys and gals on here is to not waste your energy on your exes. Take all the negative energy and turn it into positive energy to improve yourself. I took my pain and turned it into strength, both inner and outer. What will you turn your pain into?
JasonRules Posted June 20, 2011 Posted June 20, 2011 Well, I for one don't believe this is true. Short little description of what I'm going through and why I think that. I was a ******* to my girlfriend for awhile, and seen the error in my ways and was working on things to fix it. By the time I realized what I was doing, she mentally moved on from me and straight up told me I wasn't the one, she didn't ever want to talk to me again, all that jazz. Well, I went NC for 2 weeks, and would slip her a messege every now and then on Facebook (she unfriended me but didn't block me). It had been a month a couple of days ago, and I didn't stick to NC, wish I did now, but I sent her another messege asking if there was any hope of us ever talking again (I wanted closure, we never discussed things really, it was just over) and 10 minutes later, I was blocked. That is about as stone cold as you could be, and I feel she really doesn't ever want to talk to me again, I don't think she cares anymore and probably will never think a good memory of me again, so why would she want to contact me again? They don't always come back, everyone in my family says they do, my parents think that she has moved on to someone that was way nicer but thinks he is a rebound and that one day she will at least talk what happend out and not be so cold about it, but I just lost the hope yesterday when she blocked me. Kind of put me back to square one. I'm not sure what to tell you if you were a total a-hole to your girlfriend. I wasn't an a-hole, but the complete opposite and still she ended it. I would suggest you learn from your experience and start being a nice guy. Women who are emotionally secure and not co-dependent will much rather have a "nice guy" than an a-hole. Being nice pays off in the long run. Trust me on this one. I know from experience because I have lived it.
wilsonx Posted June 20, 2011 Posted June 20, 2011 Yes they do actually. My ex spouse who was 4 years older than me now looks like an old woman, plus she's gained about 80lbs since we split up 7 years ago. My ex ex ex gained weight as well and I'm not attracted to her at all. The same applies to my ex ex. I don't know about my current ex as I have not seen her in 3 months and we've spoken once on the phone for an hour since then, but she's 28 now so looks will start to fade as she approaches 30. I on the other hand have had the following happen: When I was with my ex ex I was flabby and weighed 225lbs at 6'3". I dropped to 185lbs in less than a year while I was dating my current ex. Since my ex and I ended it in March I have been hitting the gym like a maniac 2 hours almost everyday. I'm now 198lbs with 7% body fat and a six-pack. Not back for a 40 year old guy. Most people think I'm 30-32 years old. Because of the extra work in the gym women have taken notice. I have plenty of prospective dates and/or possibilities and can honestly say I've become a hot commodity. My confidence which was trashed by my ex some months ago has gone through the roof and am slowly gaining my life back. So my advice to the guys and gals on here is to not waste your energy on your exes. Take all the negative energy and turn it into positive energy to improve yourself. I took my pain and turned it into strength, both inner and outer. What will you turn your pain into? Thank you Jason, this made me smile @theVsilent - the different between us and your dumping is probably gigs, our exs are trying to string us along
TheVSilent Posted June 20, 2011 Posted June 20, 2011 I'm not sure what to tell you if you were a total a-hole to your girlfriend. I wasn't an a-hole, but the complete opposite and still she ended it. I would suggest you learn from your experience and start being a nice guy. Women who are emotionally secure and not co-dependent will much rather have a "nice guy" than an a-hole. Being nice pays off in the long run. Trust me on this one. I know from experience because I have lived it. Yeah like everybody, there is good and bad, and for some reason toward the end I was slipping toward a dark place in my head, and took her for granted. My only wish is that she doesn't view me as that evil person (which she obviously is at the moment) in time. I'm trying hard to better myself and know not to treat people like that again, but I can't seem to get any amount of mental toughness and I feel as though I don't want to ever meet anyone again. I already assume that people just don't like me nor get me.
sun_moon Posted June 21, 2011 Posted June 21, 2011 So the moral of the story is that (in my case) they always come back one way or another, but typically its to have a reconciliation, but in almost all cases by then I simply didn't care. Most will realize what they have lost between 6 months to 3-4 years after the fact. Typically, there is another guy involved and they experience gigs, but as time goes by they realize guy is an a-hole who treats them badly then they kick themselves in the as*. Agreed. I have a similar testimonial. My first love, from over seven years ago actually contacted me recently. I was 20/21 at the time, and while it took me forever to get over him, and like so many on here, I could not stop trying or did not want to give up hope. Eventually I had to because he left the country and started seeing someone else. Did I mention that he blew his trust fund money, and lived and traveled with no substance, like a nomad. Over a year later, after NC and me moving on and being in a better place he contacts me to apologize for his mistake, tells me all his regrets, and that letting me go and ruining things between us was the biggest regret of his entire young life. Oh, and he was broke and depressed now, because he was back in his small town he hated, and facing the realities of what he left behind. After that (still living in completely different worlds), I would hear from him every once in a blue moon, maybe six months, maybe a year, maybe more. Here we are a long time later, I have Bachelors and Masters degree, I'm a working professional, I have my family and friends, and a grounded great life. He on the other hand, has not finished school yet, still in community college working as a Barista and stuck in the small town he hates so much. During our r/s, he treated me well, I loved him deeply, but he wasnt meant to be with me (that realization came to me years after our breakup) Strangely, he reached out to me quite recently after my now recent break up. Mind you, we don't live in the same state any more and we hardly EVER talk. Do you know even now, he brings up the past that was so long ago? I forgave him for his moment of weakness a long time ago, I forgave him for the heart ache ages ago. He for years did not forgive himself. I asked him recently, why don't you forgive yourself already, your holding back your life and happiness? He said he came to terms with it a few years back and forgave himself but he still isn't quite happy. He also told me that while he's dated a lot, and had serious relationships, none of them were as good as me. So you see, bad decisions in life, they have rippling affects. I'm not just talking about with just him and I, but the other things he's done with his life. Which is why, we weren't meant to be and I am way better off. Jason, its funny you make the statement you do about what you said to your ex and the other. I have said the same thing as well. I said it to my first love, and I definitely said it to my recent ex. "You know I may not be perfect and you damn well know I'm not egotistical or arrogant, but I can tell you this: you will never ever find a girl like me again. Why? Because there is only one me, one woman, one lady that posses these qualities together in this unique little package. I"m smart, I'm attractive, I'm independent, I'm ambitious and I have goals in life, I'm loving, I'm grounded, etc, etc and most of all I'm devoted and I love/loved you. Good luck, finding someone comparable to me. Maybe you'll find someone better, maybe worse, but she will never be ME." and yes, I have heard the "I made a mistake'. One ex sang jokingly to me (we were broken up and moving on) months later, "baby come back", his brother told me, yeah I think he regrets the break up... but she's 28 now so looks will start to fade as she approaches 30. ahem, well excuuuuuuse me. I am an attractive female that turned 29 this year, and I am told all the time that I look like I'm in my late teens/early twenties. Why? Because I don't drink like a sailor, I dont smoke, I actually am conscious about what I put in my body, and I try my best to take care of the only body I've got. I do wished I exercised more though. I'm also pretty sure I have my mother to thank for my good genes. All I'm saying is that I really dont appreciate such a general comment because its not always true. I'm told by my family and friends that I get prettier/hotter every year....lol Then again, they are biased. ahhahaha BTW, congrats on the weight loss and then turning that into a six pack. Can I get a wooohooo, that is amazing and admirable.
JasonRules Posted June 21, 2011 Posted June 21, 2011 @sun_moon I told my ex during one of our last dinners that I think she is making a big mistake and that she will regret it like no tomorrow because we had unique chemistry and fit each other like a glove. Plus, I said "You will never find a better guy than me". To which she replied "How do you know? How can you be so certain?" And I said: "Because I know myself..." As I said earlier, I have not seen her in 3+ months and we have spoken once on the phone for an hour. I do not call, text, or email her at all. It is not easy, but I am mentally very tough. I know in the end, she'll be the one coming to me. I'm as certain of this as the sun will rise tomorrow.
wilsonx Posted June 21, 2011 Posted June 21, 2011 (edited) i really like your style jason, I think Im going to adopt the air of confidence and build that into myself. would u take this one back? Edited June 21, 2011 by wilsonx
JasonRules Posted June 21, 2011 Posted June 21, 2011 i really like your style jason, I think Im going to adopt the air of confidence and build that into myself. would u take this one back? Think about this for a moment; if you yourself don't believe in YOU, how are we to expect anyone else to believe in us? As for taking her back, I think by the time she is over her gigs I will have found someone better, taller, hotter, smarter, who knows what they want. Usually, by the time they come back full of regrets you simply don't give a crap anymore. But my message to all of you is to use all that negative energy they gave you and take the negative energy, the pain, the frustration, and grab it, accept it, then mold it into something different, something positive, something for YOU! My ex hurting me has caused me to have a 6 pack and to be in top shape, which in turn will help me attract someone else. Cause and effect. Use it to your advantage and turn the tables on your exes. Show them you only need yourself in life, no one else.
HeartOfAPhoenix Posted June 21, 2011 Posted June 21, 2011 Think about this for a moment; if you yourself don't believe in YOU, how are we to expect anyone else to believe in us? As for taking her back, I think by the time she is over her gigs I will have found someone better, taller, hotter, smarter, who knows what they want. Usually, by the time they come back full of regrets you simply don't give a crap anymore. But my message to all of you is to use all that negative energy they gave you and take the negative energy, the pain, the frustration, and grab it, accept it, then mold it into something different, something positive, something for YOU! My ex hurting me has caused me to have a 6 pack and to be in top shape, which in turn will help me attract someone else. Cause and effect. Use it to your advantage and turn the tables on your exes. Show them you only need yourself in life, no one else. JasonRules seems like a worthy name for yourself, I feel like a better man by just reading what you said here. I haven't gotten my 6 pack yet but I'm almost there , mine's more of a 4 pack right now haha. I really like the way you have viewed everything here and have been so confident in what you wrote (especially the cause and effect part because my ex made a HUGE DOWNGRADE hahahaha...) Thank You for sparking my confidence.
stray Posted June 21, 2011 Posted June 21, 2011 I have also had nearly every ex (who dumped me) come back at a point. And every time, I was almost completely over them by then. The few of those times, I attempted to date them again, only for them to dump me AGAIN, usually stating the same wishy-washy excuses they stated the first time. So the lesson is, when they come back, DON'T say "yes, let's try again". Definitely say no. If they really want to come back, they'll keep trying anyway (I have a couple exs who are STILL trying to come back after years, but now I've realized they're such losers I will never, ever date them. However, at one point I was obsessed with each one). If the ex stops trying after you say no, then assume you were just an attempt at an ego stroke or booty call. Take my word for it.
MovingOn13 Posted June 21, 2011 Posted June 21, 2011 Interesting and very often truthful thread. My ex of 5 years first love etc broke up with me in january with no real good excuse. We are both very young (20). It has been NC ever since and she too never bothered to contact me until this past week i saw she had FB friend requested me. I do not really knwo what that means. Some say its her snooping on me, some say its her testing waters, etc. I ignored it because i do NOT want to be friends and i believe if she wants me she will do more to get in touch with me. I do, however, have a feeling that when she is done partying and ****, when she sees most men are not of the caliber i am, she will pop her head out again. I am no longer obsessing over the outcome and just trying to be the best man i can me.
PelicanPete Posted June 21, 2011 Posted June 21, 2011 (edited) Well I'll let you guys place your bets of whether my ex decides to try and come crawling back some day or not . Went out for about 4 years and got together when we were young[er], both each others first love. We went to different colleges so I'd say our relationship was about 40% LDR because of it. She's a very co-dependent person and doesn't really have a solidified sense of self which makes her very insecure and self conscious about herself, and over time it started rubbing off on me. Overall the relationship was pretty good up until two or three months before the break up. I had family troubles, I got laid off from the lumber mill shutting down, and I still had my classes to deal with. With those issues all together, I could not really pay 100% attention to her. She started becoming more then friends with a guy she knew in high school that she started talking to over FB which I don't have. I was hearing from my friends with FB they were becoming awfully chummy, but I trusted her and had too much on my plate as it was. Met up with her during Christmas holidays and we both traveled down to her parents house to spend it with all of her family. However once we got there with me far away from home, she decided to blindside me. I eventually found out she cheated on me and "fell out of love with me". After she broke up with me and I was a mess that night and eventually fell asleep from jet lag and exhaustion. She woke me up to climb into bed with me and say she'll give me a second chance to make things better and she won't talk to him anymore. My mind was just a mess and I just laid awake until morning. Next day she doesn't get out of bed til 4pm. Everytime I would leave the room, I would come back in to her texting the other guy. I tried to ignore it since she was nude and cuddling me in bed, but whenever I wasn't looking she was texting him. She also starts talking to the other guys ex gf who is also her friend, and after that she turned cold and wanted me to go home. After spending an awkward 24 hours with her entire family, and having her drop me off late at the airport so I had to reschedule all of my flights, I finally got home and didn't talk to her for a week. Next time we talked she was in a relationship with the new guy telling me about how she has to go to the doctor for her UTI, adding that our relationship was just a stepping stone for her current one and that it was childish. I then talked to her again to wish her a happy new years on new years eve, to find out she was sitting on the computer at her bfs parents house while he was out getting drunk. We talked a bit more how everything was my fault, and that wondering if it would be weird if she kept the stuff I gave her, she eventually got a drunk happy new years call from him at 3am, yelling that shes the girl hes gonna marry. After that I went NC. A Month later I find out they are engaged. She harasses me with emails saying that everything bad in the relationship, including her cheating on me was my fault, and saying that I was emotionally abusive. Ontop of that, she said that we should stay in contact because apparently her new boyfriend believes its important to stay in touch with those who had a big impact on you. Whether or not that was true, I analyzed her language and got her to admit the truth that she missed me. A month after that I sent her a closure email wishing her the best in life and apologizing for pain I might have caused her, she replied saying she wanted a piece of jewelry back. I sent it back to her, she sent me a thank you. In May, they apparently got legally married with no ceremony and are living in a basement suite together, both of them 20 years old. She still talks to one of my best friends on occasion and apparently asks about me every conversation. It's funny how not even a year ago she greatly admired me to the point of having a collage of my pictures by her bed thinking of me as her tall handsome hero, now married to a short and stocky guy with less of a hairline then her 50 year old dad. Edited June 21, 2011 by PelicanPete
Pistol pete Posted June 21, 2011 Posted June 21, 2011 I think I would tend to agree with this thread... Altho I have only had 2 relationships, one 2.5 years, the other 1.5. My ex before my current ex. Left me because we were too different, which now I see for myself. Anyways she made it clear that it would never work between us, we spoke every now and then... Fast forward 5-6 months, I found someone else.. and she finds out, suddenly I'm getting text messages, emails, sayign what a bastard I am.. and that 'what I have done' has destroyed her.. etc. SHE BEGGED me to take her back.. but by then as most of you have said, I didn't care anymore. Within a couple of weeks of finding this out, she threw herself at another guy and was claiming she loved him after a month. To this very day, she still emaisl me and tries to be-friend me on fb, when I do talk to her now and then, I feel nothing, like we never even went out at all. I do think they will always come back, depending on the type of person, my ex ex was very emotionally insecure, my friends called her a bunny boiler. Whether it's jealousy, desperation, loneliness.. I don't know, perhaps it's a combination of things. But I think very rarely it's because of love. My current ex is more of a stubborn type, I think even if she wanted to reconcile, she wouldn't, out of shame and embarassment. I guess it all comes down to who/where they are in their own lives at the time. But, I would say unless the dumper is a complete twat, there will always be feelings, confusion, and a wonder if they made the right choice or not. Even if they never get back with you, they'll always want to know what you're doing, see photos of you etc. Which is why NC is such a good way to deal with things.
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