justme23 Posted June 18, 2011 Posted June 18, 2011 Here's the situation. I met this guy off a dating site, and I gave him my phone number after chatting a few times through the IM. We really clicked, he has so many amazing stories to tell and he just seemed fun. Well he's always had girlfriends but he would still call me, usually on weekends when he was at the bar getting drunk just to talk about stuff.. He tried to get me to come see him (he lives three hours away) but I always said he should be the one to see me. Anyway we talked for like 8 months or so, and my friend was actually going to that town so I said I would ride with her. We got to the town and my friend and I ended up getting really drunk and I was supposed to go pick this boy up and I kind of bailed on him he found a way to where I was at and we had a lot of fun at the bar. Anyway I was drunk and we had sex. Well the next night I was supposed to pick this guy up, but I bailed again lol. Anyway he found a way to see me both nights and we had SO much fun we clicked (even though we had already clicked talking over the phone and IM).. So we kept talking and about a little over a month ago from today he talked me into coming to see him again well to make a long story short, my car broke down and I had NO money no clothes NOTHING. My car was getting repaired and we went out EVERY night. He took me to dinner, bought me drinks, went to the movies, the mall, held hands went to the park, cigarettes, put gas in my car, bought me chocolates, made me breakfast in bed, took me to a hockey game, introduced me to his family, cuddled with me... EVERYTHING. It was AMAZING! Not that him paying for all this stuff and buying me things is amazing but it was nice. Well my car got fixed but he wanted me to stay another night and I wanted to. We just go so well together. He smiles when he talks to me. He loves to cuddle, he makes me SO happy.. I hate not being able to see him when I want to. SO here's the question....I'm just scared because I am insecure, he's wanted to date me for awhile but I say that it's just not my thing. That I don't like to get emotionally attached because I've been hurt in the past, (emotionally and physically) and I have not dated in 3 years. He lives 3 hours away. I want to change for him, and become a better person. I decided to just go with my heart and enjoy this feeling but because I deserve nice things. But like I said before I have an awful self esteem (which I am going to therapy for and taking antidepressants I'm working on myself, but he makes me feel so good at the same time. I do care for him DEEPLY... Is it too soon to feel so strongly about someone? I am so insecure that I'm questioning if he loves me. Which I was honest with him and said if you just wanted to be f”uck buddies, I would be fine with that, but he said that I mean more than that to him.... Is there a reason why he would lie to me? I don't know I tend to over think things. But I'm truly happy with how this is working. I believe we met for a reason, I believe my car broke down for a reason, and I'm also starting to believe that this might be a challenge for me from a higher power. To test me and see if I really am ready for a committed relationship, especially with the long distance. Trust is a HUGE thing. anyway we have been dating for 3 months and we have talked about me moving there.. parts of me wants to parts of me doesnt want to. i grew up where i am and i have lived here for 23 years. i have my dad and mom as a support system. and i really want to get out of here..... i had a job working as a housekeeper and just about every week i would go and see him on my day off. now im currently unemployed and i have no money ut i really want to move there. he said he will send me money ut i dont have any back up money or anything. i know that i have a place to stay and it will take some time to get estalished.... but i am scared..... since i got home aout a week ago i made a drs appointment and wanted to go home. he gave me money and i ened up having a tubal pregancy. ever since then i have been REALLY depressed....... his dog passed away two days ago and hes een really upset too..... well like i said ever since i got home he has basically making me feel insecure. i know that he wouldnt cheat on me and i trust him but he has been teeling me things that make me jealous. for example. i met this girl that he is friends with and i honestly have nothing to worry about ut her 21st birthday is comming up nd shes like well how aout to take me out to dinner and buy me drinks... then the next day he was at work and he called me to tell me that some hairdresser left her business card and saidid come in and ill give you a discount.. then last night he texted me to say that he was at the bar and said "i love saying i am engaged its a good feeling that i can turn down girls because i have the perfect one and i dont have to hunt for another one ever again i love you"........ basically my question is, is he trying to make me jealous?... and should i move three hours away from home to start a life with him?
Tayla Posted June 19, 2011 Posted June 19, 2011 Welcome to LS, May I ask what inspired you to write such a tale in your first post here? Have you considered taking up a typing class , its good to have good typing and spelling skills when moving to a different area and gaining employ.
HeavenOrHell Posted June 19, 2011 Posted June 19, 2011 Why would you want to move to be with someone if 'dating isn't your thing' Why do you want to change for him? You can only change for yourself, if you want, to, and it's a bonus if it benefits your r/ship or him. People can feel strongly about someone pretty quickly, but it's whether those feelings deepen and last which matters. In the beginning it can just be lust rather than love. Would you be fine with just being f*** buddies? Only you know if there's some reason he would lie to you about wanting to be more than f*** buddies, none of us know anything about him. R/ships do need trust to be able to work, it's good you are working on your self esteem R/ships won't work if there is a lot of insecurity or problems with trusting. It's way too early to talk about moving there if it's just to be with him, how many days have you actually spent together? Please make sure you have protected sex next time, you're in no way ready to be a parent. From what you said it doesn't sound like he's trying to make you jealous, from what you said it looks like you are reading into things. You're engaged?? How come?! You said dating wasn't your thing, so how can you be engaged? Wishing you all the best, and please keep us posted.
HeavenOrHell Posted June 19, 2011 Posted June 19, 2011 This post makes no sense and has no relevance to the OP Welcome to LS, May I ask what inspired you to write such a tale in your first post here? Have you considered taking up a typing class , its good to have good typing and spelling skills when moving to a different area and gaining employ.
creighton0123 Posted June 20, 2011 Posted June 20, 2011 My only comment: It's extremely unfair for you to hold him to the standard of your previous relationships. You've been hurt by other guys in the past, yes. He's not those guys. You may end up getting hurt again. You may end up hurting him, instead. Isn't that the risk one takes in any romantic adventure? You do, however, sound like you're in a perfect situation to move to be near him, even if only for a short while. You're only a 3 hour drive away from your home town. You're unemployed and he will pay for your relocation. Why not take a chance at it? If things don't work out, you can always return to your home town and seek new employment there. I agree with HoH. When it comes to the jealousy, you're reading way too much into things.
Author justme23 Posted June 21, 2011 Author Posted June 21, 2011 so im kinda hurt in a way... he had a girl come over and she wouldnt leave.. i guess he said that she kept saying "ill give you a back massage" and felt akward. he doesnt like this girl and he said nothing happened. as soon as she left he called me and told me that they watched a few episodes of a tv show and she kept comming on to him..... i am much more attractive than this girl and i guess a long time ago they had sex, but he was drunk and he REGRETS it... well she grabbed a blanket and hes like you arent going to bed are you? he would go outside and smoke and be like "well i think i am going to bed.." and she still wouldnt leave.. its about 6 in the morning and he called me to tell me that... i have a little insecurity but not with her. i had met her and shes ugly and she is a bitch. well she moved to south carolina and she came up here for her birthday.. well a few hours before he called and left me a message saying that he couldnt wait for me to move there and he loves me and misses me... he always is the one to call me..... but after our conversation this morning hes like "you should call me later cuz im always the one to call you.." ughhhhh i trust that he didnt do anything with this girl... but im not sure if he is trying to push me away or somehting?... i told him on the phone that i wasnt mad, and im not im just.... ughhh idk what should i do? be mad? not trust him? is he acting shady? does he want to push me away?... and if he does, why would he still tell me he loves me and want me to move there.. if he wanted out then thats fine, just be honest with me.......... or is he just being honest? i respect his honesty because hes said previous things to me about other girls that had made me question if he is just trying to get me jealous?.. if i were to stay the night at a guys house would he stay with me?..... i dont know.. what to say/do at the moment..... he wants me to come as soon as i can but with no job or money its kinda hard... someone help
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