guitar16 Posted June 18, 2011 Posted June 18, 2011 I'm 19 and dated my ex (18) for a month after "talking" for a month. She has a daughter and a reputation for being promiscuous and I knew this going into the relationship, but went ahead with it. But anyway - we dated for a month which was great. We had fun together and had amazing sex. She made me happy. We broke up because she told me she "didn't feel it anymore" one day. There was nothing I could really do about that so we broke up. This was about 3.5 weeks ago and we have not talked since. The problem is...I cannot get her off my mind. I think about her all the time. I'm not depressed about the situation or hurt all that much. I wasn't in love with the girl...I didn't even love her. I mean, we dated for a month. I just miss her a lot. I wonder what she's doing, if she ever thinks about me, etc. When I'm driving in our smallish town I look for her car. I even check her Facebook a couple of times a day to see her updates. Lately, when I think about her it's becoming more of a sexual memory and I don't know why. I didn't use her for sex - I really did like her a lot - but our sex was great. It's almost like I miss the sex more than the relationship, but not exactly. It's hard to explain. To me, this is weird. I've had a bad breakup after a year long relationship where I've done things like this. Granted, there's no depression or tears or anything like that, but still. In my mind, I should be over her by now since we only dated a month and us breaking up wasn't that big of a blow to my life. I don't know what to do. I know she doesn't feel/think the same way as I am now. If I continue with these feelings should I say something to her about it? The only thing about that is...while we were dating she brought up that she never dates anyone more than once. She said that if she is dumped, that the other person did it for a reason and wanted to break up obviously. If she is the dumper, then same goes for her. She felt that those initial feelings should be stuck to. I tried telling her that that could bite her in the ass one day, that she could miss out on a future husband doing that. But she was stubborn and stuck to that...so I know there's a slim to no chance that we will get back together. What do I do? It seems that I'm hung up on this girl far too long for the length of time we dated. Is it because of the sex? Is it for some other reason? Someone please help me out.
smudge21 Posted June 18, 2011 Posted June 18, 2011 You're beating yourself up because you feel there's some sort of rules in place - you have to date for a certain amount of time before you can feel something for someone. That's not the case. You can feel close to someone within days, even hours. That emotional bond has happened to me at different times. My current ex took a month or two before I started to develop feelings, yet I recall previous taking a few days before she was all I could think of. As for getting over someone, that too is not an exact science. You feel something for this girl and it's ended before it's time maybe. You still feel that there was more there, more that could happen. I feel that way about my current ex - it ended far too soon and when we were getting on so well. I just feel cheated out of something so special, something with so much potential. I too find it hard to move on but I just take every day as another step towards healing. You probably feel there's unanswered questions too, which can only make you think about things more. All of this builds up and stops you moving on. I don't think there's anything wrong with it, it's just the way these things go sometimes (this sites full of people going through the same). You'll get some good advice on how to help yourself, but there's no easy fix. Plus, with advice, it's often easy to give but difficult to follow. You have to do what's right for you. Welcome to the confusing world of break ups and coping... it's never easy but it always gets better.
Recommended Posts