Kyle787 Posted June 18, 2011 Posted June 18, 2011 I liked this girl. Hung out with all of her best friends and they all loved me. All of the sudden, she turned and went for this guy who cheated of 3 girls in the month of June alone. It is common because she is a giant flirt but now knowing who the guy is I want to say something. Her friends all keep yelling at her and calling her a whore because they despise this kid and she is being stupid (which is normal). I won't pursue her unless she changes but I still like her a little because mainly there is no other person to set my mind on. How would this be? "Hey, I know everyone else has been hammering you with stuff about that guy you're seeing. You are most definitely not a whore or a slut. One of my best friends was doing the same exact stuff and she really got hurt after a month or two of taking it too far. Now I've just been listening to her and her regrets for the past year and I don't want you to get hurt like she did because I really care about you. I've talked to a number of other guys you have had things with recently and most of them are mad because they just wanted to hook up and that is it. It's not your fault.. Can you please think about what I said? And you can talk to me whenever, I'll be all ears and I am never going to call you anything or get pissed off."
Nexus One Posted June 18, 2011 Posted June 18, 2011 (edited) In my opinion. what you'll possibly be doing is the following: 1. She has her eyes set on guy X, which is a cheater. 2. Her so-called "friends" warn her not to get involved with that guy. (and call her a whore/slut in the process) 3. You then give her the idea that you are picking her side and thereby will quite likely be enabling her to go for that cheater guy anyway. 4. You're thinking. Hey I'm being nice to this girl as opposed to everyone else, maybe she'll start crushing on me. 5. What you're forgetting is that whatever has been said in points 1234, she is focusing on that other guy. Remember, when someone is crushing, then their focus is completely on that person. In such a case the words/advices of others bear very little weight, such words then are mere secondary noise. Don't believe me? Look at how she's ignoring the warnings of her friends. 6. Thus I think the outcome will be that: a) She will go after that cheater guy or keep focusing on him. b) She will not, out of the blue, start crushing on you, just because you were nice. Why? Because she knows guy X is a cheater and intends to go after him anyway. If you extend that pattern, then she will not just start crushing on a guy because he's nice, since there are obviously different factors at work here regarding her crush. c) She will however possibly use you for emotional comfort, because she doesn't have anyone else for that without her friends. Then when she's done, she'll leave you standing with a broken heart, because she wasn't crushing on you to begin with, but she was crushing on that other guy. Your intention is good, but I'm not sure it will unfold the way you are expecting. My question to you is, are you sure that you want a relationship with a girl that doesn't have the clarity of mind to avoid men that have demonstrated to be repeat-cheaters? Because in my opinion, that's a red flag. Edited June 18, 2011 by Nexus One
thatone Posted June 18, 2011 Posted June 18, 2011 99% chance she brushes off your speech without a second thought, 1% chance she agrees with you then she'll be cheating on you next month. even if you win, you lose.
USMCHokie Posted June 18, 2011 Posted June 18, 2011 I liked this girl. Hung out with all of her best friends and they all loved me. Yet you never mentioned what she thought about you...I'm guessing pure indifference...? Leave this one alone and move along. She will only tell you in nice words to f*ck off.
loveiscontagious Posted June 18, 2011 Posted June 18, 2011 Don't waste your time with a "giant flirt" who goes after jerks. She isn't going to change, at least not anytime soon and certainly not for you. You sound sweet; find someone who appreciates you kind nature.
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